My thoughts on a Dragon Mom

Got milk?

Weaning a child from the breast or a bottle takes a lot of patience and effort into letting that child know that enough is enough and it's time to be a 'little' big boy now. I would really seriously love to start weaning Noah from nursing before his second birthday, but I don't think it's going to be that easy. This kid loves milk, but because he knows I'll nurse him...he doesn't drink a lot of it. I know that he could be a whole milk drinker, but he still prefers mother's milk. There are days when I wish for him to stay little, but life goes on. I need to put an end to nursing and give him more milk, water, juice, etc. It's not the stigma of nursing that bothers me it's the fact that I am getting pretty exhausted of nursing him at night. Sleeping with his silent guardian, and his wooby helps him sleep, but sometimes he'll wake up in the middle of the night (and it's usually around 3am) knowing I'll give in to nursing him. I need to just be strong, and let him cry in hopes he'll immediately go back to sleep. 

Well...after reading Emily Rapp's story, Notes From a Dragon Mom in the New York Times yesterday, I don't think I should be complaining as much about anything! We as mothers tend to complain about every little thing our kids do. Whether they are 16 or two years old. The bottom line is kids are kids. I nursed all of my girls until they were almost two and a half!! So why am I complaining about how long I should  nurse Noah. There are worse things going on with other people's children that I wouldn't have a clue as to how these parents are feeling.

Reading her story about her sweet 18 month old son having Tay-Sachs disease, and most likely not going to live to see his third birthday made me realize a lot of things. Things such as it shouldn't matter if the little ones get their clothes dirty, and spill milk on the floor. It shouldn't matter if I let Noah watch cartoons for two hours in the morning, and eat oatmeal and bananas for breakfast, lunch, and corn dogs for dinner (almost everyday!) It shouldn't' matter that I let him go to bed at 9:30 pm instead of 6:30 pm. It shouldn't matter if his toys are scattered all over the living room floor when company comes over. It shouldn't matter that I have dirty dishes, dusty furniture, a ton of laundry to do, or hardwood floors that need to be swept (that's what my three older daughters are for.) I have learned to put all of that aside when my Noah is awake to give him hugs, and spend quality time with him, and all of my kids.

I've been around the block three times, but he's a tough cookie with a lot of energy. He can be persistent, but is the sweetest little boy I know. It shouldn't matter that he'll sometimes wake up at 3am to nurse. He's still a little boy who's learning to be independent, and like a little child...I am still learning on being patient. Like Emily, I consider myself a dragon mom. Living in the moment while our boys are still little, and enjoying every euphoric moment with them...no matter how long they are here on this earth.

Life teaches you a lot of things when you move to a new state, meet new friends, spend moderate time on the internet to read about stories like this one and they usually are an answer to our prayer. I count my blessings every morning and looking at my son at this moment while I'm typing this fills my heart with so much joy, and gratitude. I give thanks that I thus far have healthy children, and I will NEVER take them for granted.

This photo was taken when Noah was about seven months old. I wish I could freeze frame this picture and that they can all stay young forever, but life goes on. 

Life moves on.

Breastfeeding with patience...lots of it!

I found out through a friend's blog that this week is World Breastfeeding Week. Okay...I didn't know there was such an event and I think it's pretty cool that there is one. As I was reading her blog post of how difficult it's been for her to breastfeed her second daughter it brought tears to my eyes. It brought back memories of how hard it was for me to nurse my firstborn 16 years ago. I know exactly how she's feeling.

Sierra weighed 4lbs. and 2 oz. when she came out of my body. I remember the nurse inserting a tube down her throat to feed her. She would force it and shove it down her throat because she couldn't swallow it fast enough. I remember my husband getting upset with her which caused me to become extremely angry. I was like a lioness protecting my young. Sierra was my firstborn and I didn't like what I saw. I even yelled at her for being impatient while inserting a tube down my newborn's fragile little mouth to feed her, and for doing it so harshly. That was a hard moment for me.

I had to pump constantly because I was so engorged. I had so much milk that I could have nursed twins! I was determined to continue to work with the lactation nurse so that Sierra could learn how to latch on correctly. It was a struggle, but Sierra and I worked together and we did it. After a week Sierra became a little pro at nursing. I was so happy. The only downside was that because she was so tiny, she was waking up every hour to nurse. EVERY HOUR! For at least a month! 1995 was the year of no sleep for me. I look at my daughter now and know that it was all worth it.

My two younger daughters were perfectionists at nursing. They immediately found the breast and latched on with no problem. I felt like a nursing machine, and loved that I never had to spend any money on formula or bottles. I really appreciated breastfeeding and remembered how hard it was for Sierra to latch on correctly. Having breastfed all my girls for at least two to three years was heaven.

Then there is Noah. I had a hard time getting him to nurse from the very beginning. I struggled with him for six weeks! I wanted to give up on him but then I remembered how I persevered with Sierra. Noah weighed seven pounds and one ounce. He weighed a lot more than Sierra, and yet he still couldn't latch on all the way. She learned a lot quicker than he did. I thought his nursing issues had to do with my body not producing enough milk because of having him late in my thirties. I was 38 when I had him. I know that's not old, but my body isn't 23, 28, or 33 anymore.  I know that as we age our bodies change and sometimes it's harder for women to get pregnant when they are nearing 40. I also heard that the older you get in having children, your milk supply becomes weak. That wasn't the case for me.

Bottom line...Noah was a lazy nurser.

He would fall asleep at the breast. There were times when he would nurse, and wouldn't empty the breast which caused me to pump the rest of it out, hence giving him...a  bottle. I thought it was pretty cool that he was taking both. He was still lazy at nursing. I realized that he was getting confused and we no longer gave him a bottle. We decided to buy a cup feeder instead. He slowly recognized that he was only going to be cupfed if he didn't empty my breast. Cup feeding him was tedious and it was such a trial.  After six long weeks he began to nurse a lot better. He was no longer lazy. I think the fact that he was cup fed for almost two months, drinking out of a sippy cup at four months became easy for him. He is by far the most aggressive nurser out of all my kids. He always wants to nurse. Always! Noah will be two in three months and I am slowly trying to wean him.  I really don't want to nurse Noah after he turns two. He's getting too long and big!

I really did enjoy breastfeeding all of my girls. I am grateful that I toughed it out and that I was blessed with patience to have had Sierra and Noah hang in there through nursing. Breastfeeding truly is the best. I want to tell all you mothers out there who are reading this that unless you have major difficulties such as my girlfriend does, try not to give up! Patience was key for me. I know for first time mom's it's hard, because it was hard for me too.

I am thankful to know that our babies are healthy and strong and whether they are being breastfed or given a bottle with formula... it's sustenance. And that's all that matters.