A patriarchal blessing can truly change a life.

I have to admit being a mother for the first time was no picnic. You'd think that it would be harder being a mother of four as opposed to being a mother to one. The days in my life seem pretty easy today when it comes to raising my kids. I  believe it's easier now because I have two self sufficient daughters to help me out around the house, and life with a two year old comes pretty easy.

I am older in my years, and because I've been around the block three times before I seem to have it down...well almost. I know I still have a lot to look forward to with Chelsea, and Noah, but having that five year age gap  is always a blessing!

I am a firm believer in the Lord giving us what we can handle, and He knew that 17 years ago I couldn't possibly have another kid too close in age. I have so many friends with four to six kids who are 18 months to two years apart, and I commend them for the patience they must have to have kids so close. I honestly don't think with the way my life was 17 years ago I could of had kids too close in age. I don't think I would have had the patience, or the means to give them the best love.

Moving to Utah was a bold move, but after converting to this church I wanted to start a fresh life. I still considered myself a newbie in the church when I married my better half. We had Sierra months after we were married, and at times I felt so lonely because I had no family in Utah. There was even a period in our life where we became "inactive" and hardly ever went to church. I guess you can say that I had held on to so much darkness from my past that eventually led to anger and depression, and inactivity in the church.

Receiving my patriarchal blessing is when things started falling into place. My love for my Heavenly Father grew deeper, and my understanding of the atonement of Jesus Christ became much clearer to me. I count my blessings for having never ever been on any kind of medication for depression. I never knew there was such a thing as prozac until I moved to Utah! So I didn't see that as a cure for my depression. My husband did his very best to help me get through my first years as a first time mom. It didn't help not being active with the church I had just joined either. I wonder though had I gone to church more if my life as a first time mom been a lot easier for me. Would I have received more blessings, and felt more loved by my husband's family.

The sad thing about this post is that while being inactive we were in Thomas S. Monson's home ward in Holladay. I took for granted the fact that we had an apostle of the Lord attending our church! He wasn't the prophet then, but he was still a member of the first presidency. Even though we saw him three times in the five years we lived there he presented an example so strong, and I always felt loved and welcomed by him. Sad huh?

Who knows how the first five years of my life living in Utah had been had I been more active in the church. Then again I look back at those trials, and I wouldn't exchange them for anything. I am who I am today because of those experiences. It's because of those trials is why I have more patience, and more love for my entire family. I am more active today with the church than I have ever been when I first joined. I never want to go down that path again of inactivity...EVER!

I now take the principles of the gospel more seriously, and never take my children for granted. I try not to stress over the little things. I wake up, and give thanks to my Heavenly Father each day, and thank him for giving me and my family another day to live. Each day is a new day, and realize that the years get shorter as my children grow. Teaching them true principles of the Lord is crucial in our home, and hope that our example as parents will always be pleasing to our kids.

Receiving my patriarchal blessing saved my membership in the church in many ways. It is a guide that led me get to the temple, a guide that continues to help me accomplish my great calling as a mother. It is a guide that gave me a strong impression to have more children, and if I continue to live righteously-my patriarchal blessing will always be there for me as a guide to lead me to a path of eternal salvation so that we as a family may return back to our Heavenly Father and reign with Jesus Christ forever.

Amen.