Chelsea's choice.

There was something so pure & 'different' when Chelsea was born. I know and understand that all children come down from heaven with different personalities, and boy did Heavenly Father sure make this one different. A little too different. But remember...different is good. 

She is the only one with straight hair, daddy's teeth (not too bad of a thing unless she needs braces), daddy's calves, daddy's cheeks, dimples, basically- everything daddy! 

The only thing that made her unique from her sisters as an infant is the fact that I never had her ears pierced. I actually wanted this child to make the choice on her own as to whether she wanted to put them holes in her ears. 

And this past weekend, in the ninth year of her life she made her own choice. 

Sierra and Lexie didn't...

Sierra was born with the deepest, olive, most beautiful colored skin with so much hair people would pause to take a look at her and say, "what a beautiful baby boy." My response was a sarcastic "uh...she's a girl thank you." Then again I don't think that wearing teal, and light yellow onesies throughout the first six weeks of her life helped people see that she was a girl. Seeing my sister pierce her daughters ears as an infant made me a follower and my immediate thought as a young first time mom was- when you bear a girl (not a boy) you pierce their ears period. So with that being said, and the fact that 95 percent of Utah's population thought Sierra was a boy caused me to pierce her ears. 

Lexie was like my little personal doll. I loved dressing her up in cute outfits, and as soon as she turned a month old I ran to the nearest mall to pierce her ears. There was no excuse for piercing her ears because she looked like a thumbelina doll. I only wanted her ears pierced because well...it would make her an even cuter thumbelina doll, and since her sister's ears got pierced might as well do it with this one too.

It's a totally different story with Chelsea. I think this is another reason why she's so unique, and why I myself felt so differently after I had her, and why I hesitated when it came to piercing her ears. 

That's when I truly learned about what it means to have a "choice." 

First of all please don't think I'm a weirdo for my explanation, and reasoning as to why I wanted Chelsea to have a choice in making the 'ear piercing decision.' I wanted her to think for herself, and to know that she has a choice about everything she does in this life. 

She was the first child to be born after being sealed in the temple, and my feelings of simplicity, and purity bursted inside of me as soon as I entered in. I wanted my life to be as it is whenever I enter inside the temple...clean, unworldly, simple, happy, and different. I wanted it to be like that when I left too. 

I wanted things with this child to be different, and this is where I think Heavenly Father has a sense of humor because he sure brought someone down that was completely different from her sisters in every. single. way!

When it comes to 'things of the world' we tend to make choices for our kids such as getting them into pageants, dance, and acting classes. Soccer, and music lessons. I mean...we all want our children to be athletic, and talented but not at the expense where they are going to regret all the things that we as a parent thought was for their benefit. 

For example-I see so many infant and toddler boys my son's age with earrings, and funky haircuts. Gosh I hope that doesn't sound judgmental but I would never do that to my son. I would want him to make the choice at an age where he understands what having an earring on your ear means, and why he's playing on this big box of wood (piano.) And although I will encourages lessons, and sports i will not force him, or any of sisters to do something they don't really want to do.

That's how I felt about Chelsea. I wanted her to see for herself, and to know that this is what she wanted. Just like with piano lessons. She loves playing, and if she told me she didn't want to take them anymore I would pull her out of it. I'd probably be sad, and wonder why, but seriously...I would. I don't want my child to be miserable and resent me when they're 8 or 12 for forcing them into something they never wanted to do. 

Lexie took both piano and violin lessons, and told me two years ago that she prefers the violin over the piano. I was okay with that (saved me some money too!) Same with Sierra, and I guarantee I'm going to do that with my little man. 

I want them to be able to make their own choices in this life because nowadays society (as well as pushy parents) make it for them, and I refuse to do that to my kids. 

It feels so good knowing that Chelsea made her own decision, and that I didn't jump at getting her ears pierced as an infant. It feels really good! This may be petty for y'all, but this is a big deal for me because she and I will be the only ones in the family who'll actually know how it feels to have our ears pierced by a needle. No pain, no gain.

I was sixteen when I pierced my ears, and I had to pay for them. Luckily for Chelsea she didn't. 

 

And she was one happy camper afterwards. 

The temple, and mommy mantras.

Reasons why I attend the temple are to make my weaknesses become strengths, to be humbled, to pray, and receive answers to my prayers. It helps me to be at peace, and overall a much more happier person. It really does help, and I feel like as if I've been cleansed from all the wickedness in the world. Still...no matter how many times I go that darkness tries it's very best to creep into my soul.

The darkness I'm referring to is the opposite of the light of Christ.

It never fails that when I have returned from doing something so great that comes from the Almighty that darkness of depression & anger tries it's very best to creep back into my life. It literally works hard by ruining my spiritual high that I have felt so far this whole month. Ruining it by picking at those things the adversary knows will get to me. Ruining it by trying to make my minor trials harder, and by having my youngest daughter get the best of me by trying my patience, and the end result is raising my voice at her. I don't like it! I don't like it one bit!

I look at the background of my life, and as a believer of Christ I look at all the things that I am doing that I have worked so hard to accomplish in being a humble servant of the Lord. I ask myself questions wondering why this happens when I've had amazing spiritual moments, and without making it sound like I'm checking off a to-do list...I feel as if I'm doing everything in my power to live righteously.

Pray my heart out to Heavenly Father at least twice a day for my life, friends, the world & my family.
Attend ALL my meetings, and worship the Lord.
Serve my fellow man, and help others in need.
Read my scriptures by myself & with my family.
Hold our weekly family home evening (even if it's on a Sunday.)
Pay tithing.
Share the gospel.
Visiting those from the church, and other friends in my community that may need help.
Attending the temple as much as I can.
Nurturing and raising my children the best I know how.
Supporting my husband in all that he does including his calling as Seminary teacher in the church.
Doing my church calling to the best of my ability.
Forgive.

I'm sure there are more things I can add to the list that are pleasing to those I love especially to my Father in Heaven. My better half tells me that I have a choice to allow that darkness to creep into my soul.

He's right.

I do have a choice as to how to handle a sassy, overactive child who wants to grow up way too fast! I have a choice to choose a discipline action that won't require any kind of abuse, or harmful words. I look back at how I was raised and remember how the back of a fist hurt when it hit my back. How the verbal abuse can be just as harmful as the physical. I don't ever want to relive that in my home. I don't want to have any of my daughters or son learn that behavior. I remember the pain I endured, and how it felt to hear hurtful words, but yet have so much love for my mother, because after all...she is my mother, and all has been forgiven.

The family home evening lesson Sierra chose to teach was exactly what I needed to hear. To set a goal in which you want to do better. Improve on something that you want to achieve in your life, and strive hard to LIVE it on a daily basis. I chose to read my scriptures everyday, and I mean study them so hard that I'll be reciting them in my sleep. I also think of a mantra such as "within me is a peacefulness that cannot be disturbed." I reflect that as being the spirit of Christ.

There is a book that I read a while back called Mommy Mantras, and every now and then I reflect back on it. It has really helped me in dealing with my youngest daughter. One of the mantras in that book that I remember reading, and have been constantly saying is,"I can stand this" before reacting to my sassy child. Although Chelsea can be charming in a public setting she can be a spitfire in the home. I have to remind myself that she is has a different personality, and that I can't compare her to my two oldest daughters. They all come down from the spirit world with their own personalities.

Looking back at my childhood gives me the chance to change the things in how I react when Chelsea is giving me a hard time. My poor mother obviously didn't think of any mantras, and unfortunately would react to our disobedience rather than tolerating it, and just leaving the room. I am so grateful for those mantras, and for the temple that helps me to overlook all the odds that we are against in this world when it comes to our family life. I know that I can stand it because when you look at the big picture of a family, you don't have a choice. I am a mother, and mothering comes with obstacles that we are going to have to face, and work out in a positive and calm manner. 

I love my children, and want them to know that they can always feel safe, and secure in their home. I don't ever want to hurt them in any way that could scar their future. I love them so much. I love them.


"That is why the mantra "I can stand this" is crucial. Try to ameliorate the stress-provoking situations, but let's face it, mothering has its share of things we just have to tough out."

The best thing about the spirit of Christ is that He guides me with more blessings, and helps me focus on looking more at the positive things that the temple brings rather than allowing that darkness to creep in.  How grateful I am for prayer, and for the strength that I have had to be able to recognize and try by best to avoid negativity.

Our lives are not always harmonious, but boy do we try to live in harmony, and when we pray hard enough to fight all opposition...all is well.

All is well.