a dance in manhattan.

There are days when I look at my children, and ask myself where did the time go? Especially this girl because look at her! She is absolutely gorgeous & growing up way too quickly! There are times day after day when I have to just sit back and stare...knowing that at some point I have to let go of the reigns. Let her make her own decisions. Let her learn experiences on her own. Let her practice her free agency. But because I'm a mother...her mother I have to learn control in not treating her like a little kid anymore. 

My love for her runs so deep, and I mean the deepest you'll ever know. She is my firstborn, and the one who sets the example for her brother, and sisters, and every person out there who is her friend. She is the one that they are going to look up to, and ask certain questions when it comes to her beliefs, about how she deals with life, struggles, and for her sibs...mom nagging all the time. The one that they'll turn too when they need advice about a boy, girl, school, or an issue where they feel is too personal for a parent to understand.

Hopefully that'll be different because as a mother I want all my children to be able to talk to me about anything. They know that first and foremost I am their mother & want them to know that I will put my listening ears on and without yelling using my loud voice do my best in understanding anything they want to talk to me about.

Going to the city this past weekend for Noah's birthday gave an opportunity for Sierra to go to a young single adult dance that was being held in the cultural hall inside the Manhattan temple. She invited a few friends who aren't members of the church & even though they don't share our beliefs...they are good people. You can't imagine how happy I get when she surrounds herself with goodness, and people that make her happy. True friends that won't hurt her, or put her in a position that is dangerous, and out of control. New york city may be scary for some, but in my opinion safer than Philly, and the best, most fun, and safest city this side of the island. The fact that there is a temple in the heart of Manhattan does bring a spirit of its own. One that helps the city to be more safer than usual. There are times when my family and I have taken the subway in the middle of the night, and had no harm come to us. I believe if you know the area, and the do's and dont's of the city then you'll be ok.

My trust in leaving Sierra with these gentleman she's known for five years puts me at ease. I can tell they were excited to be in the city, and for Sierra to have introduced them to an atmosphere that may be too different to comprehend. An atmosphere that is all too familiar for Sierra, but unfamiliar to them. In the end I'm glad they had fun, and even though coming home at 2:20 in the morning was a bit worrisome...I knew she was in good hands. Still...I can't help but to have morbid thoughts, and that is something that I still have to work on regardless of who her friends are. It's unfortunate, but little by little I am getting there. As long as I feel a good vibe around these guys, and see a happy smile on her face when she comes home...I know they are good, and that's all that matters.  

Besides...I know where they live. (wink)