appreciating distance & time when it comes to our children.

Nothing matters to me most than finding quality time to spend with each of these kids individually. It's kind of impossible to do that when Sierra is out west going to school, but thank goodness for technology, and instant communication such as texting, and FaceTime. I am realizing the reality of life when it comes to a child going away for school. It doesn't matter if she's in good hands living with her grandparents I still wonder about her well-being. As much as I trust her in the hands of my in-laws I can't help but to find myself worrying just a bit. I've also come to terms that worrying is not good for the soul physically as well as mentally. Alleviating the worry by thinking happy thoughts and having faith in seeing the positive side of things really helps. I guess you can say that these past four months of being without her has been quite an adjustment, and amazingly have gotten accustomed to it. That doesn't mean that I'm not going to stop calling her, writing her, or sending her "thinking about you" texts every now and then. We are a very close family, and as far as her sibs go...they miss her too. Every now and then I'll ask them if they miss Sierra, and of course they all say to me, "mom, that's a dumb question." Hearing that kind of a response made me feel good knowing that in spite of all the sisterly disagreements, and little brother annoying moments they've had (which is very rare) they all love each other. 

I find it comforting as well when Sierra calls or texts me first. Waking up in the morning to see that she tried calling me at midnight (which is 10pm her time), and a text that she left me way early in the morning makes me feel confident in knowing that she is seriously growing up, and beginning to realize that there are times when she really needs me. It gives me assurance that she trusts my advice when it comes to school, work, boys, major trials, or your basic everyday drama. As a mother I want my children to be able to trust, and tell me anything. I don't ever want them to feel like they can't come to me when there's a problem, or when they need help. My solution may not be a perfect one, but it's gratifying to know that they have enough trust to tell me what's going on in their lives. I know that on occasion they'll go to their dad for advice, but I firmly believe that a child no matter how old they get will always need their mother. (I know this because there are times when I need my mother as well.)

Appreciating my kids is something I hold extremely solid in my life, and I never want to take them for granted. Distance truly does make the heart grown fonder. Again, I know this because at times I feel it being away from my sister, mother, and girlfriends. Fortunately for our family whether we're distant or not our hearts have always leaned towards love, and time. Time for us to spend together whether it's one on one dates with our kids, or family time. Sierra has been missed a lot lately when we've gone on our recent road trip to D.C. and New York. Especially when we go to the temple. I am very grateful for distance, and time because without those two things we'd never be able to appreciate family, and sometimes families need that. I personally can't fathom when the time comes for my girls, and Noah to get married. One thing for sure I'm definitely going to appreciate the whole distance thing even more. 

Being the mother of these four kids is the greatest thing on earth, and I can't imagine my life any other way. I'm hoping and praying that Sierra will find time off of work to come visit us this summer so she can bring her bubbliness, and act goofy again in person with her sibs.