Back in May my mom fell down and broke her shoulder which required for her to have surgery. When she came out of surgery she had no idea where she was. Her caregiver mentioned to her how she was in rehab to recuperate from a broken shoulder in hopes that she can go home within 30 days. After she came home is when the decline began happening...and quick. I couldn't help but to feel helpless here in Jersey while my mom was in the process of healing. It was then that my sister realized she had to move from Florida to be closer to our mom. To help her get settled in and adjust when she got released. All was going well when all of a sudden her momentum was declining.
She no longer wanted to eat. Water tasted weird to her. She no longer wanted to shower. And then the time came when she could no longer hold her bowel movements. She was scared and sad and even said to my sister at one point sobbing, "I'm so sorry, I don't know why this is happening to me." Dementia is a horrible disease and my mom had no clue what was going on with her body. Her mind wanted to stay but her body was already in first gear ready to move toward the end.
When she came home from rehab the decline was so fast. I couldn't believe how quickly she was going downhill. After my sister told me the news of how quick she was declining I felt so helpless. I called a dear friend of mine to tell her what was happening and by the grace of God she offered to put me on a plane to see my momma. And I will be forever be grateful that she did.
My mom was so happy when she saw me. Of course we both cried and I willed her to eat a little so that she could have the energy to spend time with us and to still be there when my kids flew out. Little did I know that each day was a decline. I was in denial. I was crying off and on by myself. With my sister. There were nights when I had her all by myself. I fed her. Changed her. Rubbed her feet. Read to her. Fixed her hair and laid down with her. I was even waking up every two hours to get her water. It was like waking up to an infant crying out cause she was thirsty. It was so sad seeing my mom like this.
As I saw the decline each day is when I knew that I had to find a way to get my brother here. Since I didn't rent a car and he no longer drives I had no idea how he was going to get here. Luckily our loving caregiver let me borrow her car to pick him up. I am so glad she did me that favor and that he came and didn't wait until August to see her.
We all had a wonderful time together. Distance made us not see each other as much but I am so happy that he was able to sit with mom for a couple of days. To watch her favorite movie (The Warriors) with him. It was a good day for mom. I honestly believe she used all her energy on spending time with him. There’s truly something special about a mother /son bond. I know this because I have a son. And man did she love hers.
I will never forget the "thank you's" and the "I love yous" every time I would feed and change her. The second I would help her lay back down I was always looking forward to those two words. Her voice began to change into a raspy one, and her sentences turned into single words. All I wanted to do was spend every second with my mom. No matter how exhausted I was I always woke up to her calling out my name at 2am. She was restless and always thirsty. And the most sweetest part of those “2am “wake up moments" was the part when she said "thank you and, I love you mija." Oh yeah- I will always remember her graciousness in her last days.
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