It Takes Time...But You Will Heal.

 ^^^ photo via google ^^^

One thing about me that I love is that I'm a television cop junkie. There are a few tv series that I watch, but one of my all time favorite cop shows has always been Criminal Minds.

Over the weekend I watched quite a few episodes & there was one episode that really caught my attention. Now I've seen so many reruns of this show, but this was one episode I'd never seen before. This particular episode is based upon the character Derek Morgan being molested by someone he trusted. He finally put the man who molested him in his younger years behind bars, and later found out that he wasn't the only one who was sexually abused. Apparently there were numerous others in which this man sexually abused and because of that those who were abused by him became drug addicts, thieves, and in this particular episode one man went crazy and got to the point where his anger and resentment got so built up inside that he developed a penchant for beating his victims to death. His rage also caused him to almost kill his ex-wife in front of their son. Simply because he wanted to protect his son from what happened to him. I know that this irrational behavior, and actions were caused by his long term childhood sexual abuse in which he never resolved with himself or his molester.

I know that this is just a prime time television show, and that all stories are fiction, but in hindsight they are nothing but the truth. 

Because it does happen in real life.

In many ways I find myself like the character Derek except without the badge, and gun. He is tough, fearless, and has a lot of compassion for the victims. Especially for those that have become mentally unstable or psychotic due to the experiences that happened to them in their past. He also has a lot of anger, and frustration towards those who are the culprit of these horrible actions. Luckily for Derek he has the law to take care of the bad guys on a television show, and I have my voice in the real world to help others. It's sad and I know there is no excuse for such irrational behavior, but when it comes to something like childhood sexual abuse, rape, or being sexually assaulted many don't comprehend or even realize that it takes time to heal, and that they need help. Some of us focus on continuing to feel like a chewed up piece of gum that has been thrown onto the ground, and stepped on over and over again drowning ourselves in misery with drugs, or alcohol because someone made us feel dirty, worthless, and violated at a young age. Some of us may not know how to heal, and deal with such abuse until we are older in age, and then it's too late. 

Some of us can end up becoming a danger to society. 

Our lives can be ruined by turning to prostitution, drug, alcohol use falling into severe depression, and unfortunately never recover. Some of us can also become the abuser ourselves. Sometimes keeping it a secret for too long, and being silent for many years can hurt us so much to the point where we can't live anymore, or take it out in various forms of anger towards society. Some may take longer than others to heal, but I am proof that in the end of all that has happened, said, and done that we can be healed. 

And you will. 

It takes time...but you can, and you will.  

Here's to a better Monday than the last one! 

Our Halloween Evening.

I remember I stopped trick or treating at the age of 12, and for those last two years of trick or treating I dressed up as a gypsy. Funny how it didn't bother me to wear the same costume two years in a row. Now, they say trick or treating is for little kids, but i honestly believe that if you're dressed up with a killer costume that you're never too old. Okay...let me rewind a bit. I personally wouldn't go trick or treating at the age of 43, but you bet I'll dress up if I'm going to a party or something. It's all preference I guess and maybe the age to stop trick or treating should be 18??  I don't know. All I know is that all my kids love the fact that for one night you can dress up, have fun, and get all the "free" candy your little heart desires!

Holidays are always, always fun with children around, and this year's Halloween for the kids was pretty awesome, not gruesome...awesome! Since summer the kids were deciding what to be for Halloween, and because I'm no seamstress I'll either ask my mother in-law to make a costume, go to a store to buy a costume, or just use our imaginations and "make up" a costume. Well, I've decided to no longer bug grandma to make the kids anymore costumes because you know...I really should just learn to sew myself, and be self-sufficient which I will from now on so this year I made suggestions, and the kids used their imaginations. Noah had it in his mind to be a transformer, but because Chelsea wanted to be special agent Emily Prentiss from Criminal Minds gave Noah the desire and motivation to be his favorite profiler from said show...Dr. Spencer Reid. For those of you who don't know who Dr. Reid is you obviously don't watch  Criminal Minds. I personally am a "cop junkie" and we are huge fans of that show. 

I was pleased with their final decision, and I think they pulled off their costumes pretty darn good! 

                                                                  ^^^ Special agent Emily Prentiss. ^^^

                                                                           ^^^ My little Dr. Reid. ^^^

As far as Lexie goes, well she had a kind of a hard time choosing what she wanted to be. She's almost 15, and really wanted to dress up. Now I consider myself a pretty cool mom and, after she read the City of Bones: Mortal Instruments series, she decided to be a shadow hunter. I suggested for her to be Katniss from Hunger Games, but honestly...that series seems to be a bit overrated and Lexie wanted to be somewhat "different & unique." She made a very good choice in assembling her "simple" costume, and just to clarify, those marks on her arms are not real tattoos. It is part of her costume (although I do have to admit they look pretty awesome on her, and she could pull it off, but no...I'm not giving her any ideas.) 

But look at her...doesn't she look like she's about to kick some a**!

^^^ My shadow hunter, my protector, my kid...Don't mess with her! ^^^

Trick or treating with friends was so fun this year, and we were luck enough to have not run into any gruesome activities, or decorations that would traumatize my toddler (or any of our kids) for years. This is the second year where we've gone to a friend of mine's neighborhood where almost everyone in that development participates, and goes out of their way to make this night fun, innocent, with lots of candy to give. They are all pleasant, and a very kid oriented kind of people. I dint  take too many pictures of the trick or treating because not only was the weather a bit nippy, but the the fact that my son is getting older made me realize that his time of toddler status is on a timer and expiring in a year, and that the camera can be put away. I want to take in every moment of his next few Halloweens, pay attention, and just enjoy watching these kids having fun going out on this night to get some treats!

 ^^^ Chelsea & Noah's favorite...Elsa. ^^^

As far as my oldest daughter Sierra, she continues to stay in Utah for now, and unfortunately missed out on our "Octoberfest" of activities as a family for the first time this year, and we sure did miss her! And now that November is here we are excited to be planning our festivities for this month. 

***You can see past Halloween moments here, here, here, here. here, and here.