To tell you the truth I would like to be stable...for once. I love the east coast, and where we live is so centered to the states we love, but it looks like we may need to reevaluate our current situation. Who knows...right now I'm just going to enjoy this time with my family, and not worry about it!
I stumbled upon two quotes recently, and it's amazing how reading something can speak right at you! I thanked the lovely woman who posted them on her blog a while back.
"If you are depressed you are living in the past
If you are anxious you are living in the future
If you are at peace, you are living in the present."
Long ago when my oldest was about two, we kept moving back and forth from Utah to Texas, and knew it was because I had to deal with things from my past. Times were hard even after I converted my life to Christ at the age of 20. It wasn't easy, but all those moves back and forth (believe it or not) did help me out of my "depression phase", and to stop living in the past.
Throughout those moves feelings of anxiety kicked in. I always couldn't wait to leave Utah to move to Texas, and leave Texas to go back to Utah, and so forth. It wasn't until we moved back to Utah the third time is when genuine feelings of peace kicked in. I know that being sealed in the temple had a lot to do with it! Even so...we ended up moving again after three years to North Carolina.
Feeling anxious when it comes to moving is not a peaceful feeling at all! It's unhealthy in a way, and I am realizing now that I don't want to feel that way with this move (whenever that will be!)
I know our time will come to move, but I want to live in the now, and in the present peacefully with my family. I want to grow more with the ward that has been part of my family now for five years. I want to continue to fellowship my neighbors, and not take them for granted. And even though it's summertime I want to be able to think of those who may feel alone, lost, or on the same boat as we're in.
Living in New Jersey can be a hustle and bustle of life, (depends on where you live) and when I go to New York, D.C. or Philly it doubles! I've long since realized that even though I long for that peace and quiet, I also long for the city noise too.
I do have two young children who constantly need that stimulus, and I think we are in the perfect place to please them with it. The background of our life whether it's noisy or calm shouldn't matter. It's how we come to terms with it in making peace with the way we live...no matter how hard life can get.
Peace
It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work.
It means to be in the midst of those things, and still be calm in your heart.
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