picture perfect.

How many of us hold back the tears and when you're all alone you just let it all out, and I mean really let it out. Like you can't breath. Receiving kind messages really makes my day, and I received one from an old friend the other night, and the words that they mentioned describing my life was "amazing."

Amazing because of where I'm living, and all the places we have gone. 

Newsflash...our life is just like any other normal family so don't let all the pictures fool you. We have disagreements, we (I) can be a mean mom at times and raise my voice, but at the end of the day all is well. 

I have been tearing up so much lately though it's ridiculous, and that one simple, sweet message made me shed more tears. 

Why? 

Is it the fact that they loved my pics so much that I felt their gratitude through their message? Is it because Sierra has gone off to college, PMS, menopause (goodness I hope not) summer being over, the fact that winter is in three months, or is it because I'm turning 42 in a couple of weeks. Still...why am I crying so much.

I think it's all of the above (except the menopause one). 

My heart has been so full since Jon lost his job, since our oldest daughter left for college, and hearing my almost four year old speaking like he's six is scaring me. School has started, and I swear I felt as if Sierra's graduation happened yesterday. Everything is changing, life is changing, and there is no time to waste, and unfortunately rewinding time is impossible so as of this moment I am going to give 110% in giving my time to my family, and friends.  

In our family we begin each day with a blank page, and life goes on from there. Some days are blah, happy, and sad. I find myself taking advantage of the little things with my family like not whining too much about scattered toys in the living room, or Lexie staying up until 10:30 reading a book on a school night. I've been calling my mom more often, and friends to actually hear their voice, writing more letters, sending out cards to those I feel can use some cheering up, and "liking" & commenting on many photos of my friends Facebook wall, and Instagram account. I mean...that is why I am on these social networks. To stay in touch, and to look at all the wonderful happenings of so many families of friends that I've known half of my life, and for the past seven years. 

Some of you may not even go on the net as much (like my kids), and some of you may not have an Instagram account (which is better than FB so I encourage you to get one!) Bottom line is you don't have to comment or like my pics to let me know that you're there. There shouldn't be an obligation as to who likes who's pics on FB or any other social network. That's not how I view it, but I LOVE looking at everyone's photos & pics of their daily musings, and the overall mundane! 

Sadly some of those happenings are not so wonderful. One of my friends son has leukemia, and is in need of a bone marrow transplant. There is so much for me to be thankful for so why am I crying so much. Perhaps it's because I care too much. I care too much about life. I care too much about the sunlight gleaming through my window every morning. It's as if God is greeting me, and saying, "wake up Rose, it's time to live your life to the fullest so please...make the best of it." Knowing that I'm still alive, and breathing, and that my family is safe, and in good health when others peoples children are not. I cannot even imagine! 

These things make me extremely grateful and help me to not complain. 

So, why all the crying? 

I have a heart that's filled with so much love for the entire universe. I wish I could take away the pain that others are going through, and give them a great big hug because I'm a hugger.

I'm having these spontaneous outbursts of emotionally tearing up, but after talking to Sierra yesterday her voice uplifted me, and gave me assurance that everything we'll be okay. 

I look at Noah's sparkle in those deep brown eyes of his, and the cuddles that he gives every morning and night fulfills my entire being.

I'm glad that Lexie is home with me for another five years because when there's a day when I'm feeling blue she doesn't hestitate to give me a hug. Not for a minute. All I have to do is look at her, and she is my assurance, and a reminder to me that there is a lot of good in this world. 

I look at my eight year old, and all the sassiness she carries, and just smile. Sure there are times when her sassiness will go to far, and the "mean mom" in me  comes out, but at the end of the day she brightens it with her individuality. Knowing that this kid of mine is different in her own way gives me assurance that she is going to do something uniquely different in her future.

I have Jon whom for the past 20 years has given me his heart in friendship and love. Supported me in ways that a man should, and even though he's unemployed at the moment I still see him as a hardworker willing to strive to do things on his own. It's hard, but he tries. 

So life changes everyday, and in an instant can be turned upside down for so many of us in different ways. Life can seem perfect in pictures, and it can be sometimes...for that moment. 

Crying...whether they're tears of joy or sadness is perfectly healthy and normal. In spite of everything that is going on in our life right now I have to admit that my friend is right.

I do have a pretty amazing life living the life that I live with my family & with all the beautiful scenery that surrounds me in venturing out to the places we love...including our own backyard! 

No matter what life throws at us we will always have each other, and that is the greatest comfort.