The Day I Took The Tree Down.

The day Chelsea flew back to Utah was the day I took the tree down and I wasn't even sad. I have to say I was relieved and glad that I made it through my first Christmas without my mom. I was glad to have taken  the tree out on New Years day. The branches were starting to snap in half anyway and there were so many pine needles on the floor. I was ready to get rid of it but sad that my daughter left. It's bittersweet you know. I know with time it'll get easier but I will always miss my mom during the holidays. I will always be 50 percent sad and 50 percent happy until the day I die. I am grateful that in spite of my feelings of not caring to put up a tree that I did. My mum loved Christmas and she literally had it spread all around her apartment all year round! She had Christmas decor all around the apartment and it was the cutest thing. So I have to say I did it for her and the kids. A small part did it for myself too so that I can find healing in doing so. I have to admit I love the holidays but this one was a little rough. I got through it and documenting a few of our moments helped ease the pain I had in missing her. Hopefully my sentiments for Christmas next year will be less melancholy. I doubt it but I'll certainly try! I do love how we had the most simplest Christmas ever too with very few gifts and more time spent together!