this gem is 19.

For the first time in 19 years I celebrated Mother's Day without Sierra. And now, on her 19th birthday we're about to celebrate it without her in person. But this is the time where I am loving technology, and not whining about how much we shouldn't be on it. Thank you Apple, thank you FaceTime, thank you Facebook, thank you blogger, and all the other social networks out there that I'm on where I can post something lovely for my daughter to see.

It has been a ginormous blessing to have her in my life. With all the moving around we've done since she was five she has learned so much. I have realized even more now that without all the things she's experienced by living in different states, church, and with "the world" I know she would never take anything back that she experienced. Without the things she learned in Philly, without the friends she made at UARTS, and without the people she brought into her life from New Jersey that she's known for the past five-six years...she wouldn't be who she is today. 

In my eyes she is an amazing example of love, and courage. If you only knew what this girl has endured to get to where she is at today you wouldn't believe it. I love her for it, and no matter what life throws at her she has learned to manage it with a sheer commitment to come out of it. She is a survivor of many things, but especially of "this world" where modern society tends to influence the youth with things that seem to be "okay." Where the adversary tends to target the valiant, and make them stoop to a level of nothingness. Where people are people, and where this no such thing as perfection. 

No matter how old she gets she will always be a daughter of a king, and in the end she will not let society or the adversary bring her down to ruins. She is smart and is the most talented piece of beautiful matter that the Lord has blessed me with. I will always be by her side with eyes wide open and a good pair of listening ears to hear the stories of her life.   

I love you Sierra. We all love you. You are loved by so, so many! You have been blessed with a talent beyond measure with a beautiful voice, and fingers that keep on rocking that big box of wood you play called a piano. You have a countenance that radiates beauty, compassion, and genuine love. Pass it on, and continue to share that light with others. Don't ever give up when things seem to fall off the path that you're navigating on, but most of all...don't ever give up on you! 

Remember that things happen for a reason, that people come into our life for a reason, that Heavenly Father is always there when you are feeling at your lowest, & that you have amazing friends that are there for you no matter what. Grandparents that will do anything for you. That you have two sisters, and a brother that love you and could never imagine their life without you. Particularly a sister who is like your twin in many ways that is always there for you even when you call her at 10pm at night which is midnight our time. And that you have two parents who are here for you sitting, and waiting by the phone to listen with whatever it is you'd like to get off your chest. Regardless if it is happy or sad, pleasing or disappointing. We are here for you! 

Know that if the only friends you have in this world are us...that we'd be with you every step of the way until we reach the eternities! In other words...you'll never be alone! 

Happy Birthday sweet Sierra. Hope you make 19 a very special day! Wish we could be there to celebrate with you! 

xxx, 

mom

just some words of advice.

"Take risks. Big risks. Smart risks. I’m not talking about drunk driving or running naked in the snow, I’m talking about going out on a limb to achieve your goals. I’m talking about venturing into unknown territory with no safety net, no fallback plan, no cushion, and nobody holding your hand. You’ll never do anything important if you care more about having fun and being comfortable. Period. It won’t happen. There’s time for fun and comfort, but not now. Not when we’re young and have so much to do. I don’t say this because I’m some huge success story; I say it because I’m not. Not yet, anyway. I say it because I’m in the thick of it, too. I say it because my heart breaks every time I meet a person younger than me who has no ambition. So often I speak to someone like this, they tell me what they want to do in life, I tell them, “well, go do it then,” and they come back with the “yeah, but..”

Stop it.

No buts. Nobody cares about your excuses. Move across the country if you have to. Live out of your car if it’s necessary. Work six jobs if that’s what it takes. Eat one meal a day if it comes to that. Do what needs to be done. STOP FOLLOWING THE PATH THAT OTHER PEOPLE HAVE LAID FOR YOU. Blaze your own trail. Make a sacrifice. Struggle. Sweat. Fail. Suffer. Do it now. Now’s the time. Especially if you aren’t even married and you don’t have kids. Why in the world are you sitting around? What are you waiting for? There’s absolutely nothing stopping you from chasing big things. Nothing."

~Matt Walsh

These are the words from a man who is about ten years younger than me whom I have admired for the past six months. Reading his blog has given me a lot of insight to many issues. Sometimes we can learn a few valuable things from the younger generation, and I have to admit that Matt Walsh is one of them. 

So heed the words of his advice. 

And these are mine...

You are so young, and have so much to look forward to. There are so many things that I missed out on as a youth. Things that you have, that i was unfortunate to learn, & grow up with. A talent with music that you have been blessed with like no other. (Gosh I wish I learned how to play the piano.) Even though you won't be homeless I want you to be independent and learn to do things on your own. Even though you've already lived in familiar territory I want you to act "as if" you've never been out west before. I'm not a well known blogger, but i feel that everything I have written thus far on my little blog are honest, and true. Things that have been repressed in my mind for many years that I was willing to share with the world (or whoever reads this)...but most of all you. 

The past 18 and half years of raising you has been fairly easy. We've had our ups and downs, but please know that those downers we had were moments of motherhood. I treated you in strictness because I love you. It's that simple. I was a mother first, and your friend second. Love. Go out and conquer the world. Make new friends. Find the old ones you left behind years ago. Learn how to ski. Spend a lot of time with grandma and grandpa. Enjoy your youth, and the time spent with your relatives. Life is too short. I don't ever want you to leave with an uneasiness or unhappy feeling like I did with my mom when I first moved across the country. I want you to carry that happiness wherever you go. I want to be able to know that your intentions are true, and that this decision is the best for you. 

Let your burdens be light by living your values, keeping your morals high, and lose yourself with God, and his gospel. When times get tough, and i mean really tough...lose yourself in service. Help your neighbors, & babysit. Sometimes when you're around small children they tend to get your mind off the hard things. Don't ever lose sight of what's important. Keep in touch with your sisters, and little Noah. For they will grow up way too quick, and perhaps be taller than you! 

Love, love, love. Fellowship. Fellowship. Fellowship. Be fearless, and bold in a loving manner. Always be tactful. Be the one who stands out as you walk into church, and school. Hold your head up high with humbleness ready to serve, love, and make more friends. 

I have faith in you. You're going to do great. God Bless you, and good luck in all that you do. Especially with school, and in growing up to be one of the most successful people i know you can be. 

xo, 
mom

to sierra on your graduation day.

"All who have accomplished great things have had a great aim, have fixed their gaze on a goal which was high...one which sometimes seemed impossible."

~Orison Swett Marden

I can't believe that in just a few hours you are going to graduate high school with honors. I am so proud of all your accomplishments that you have done throughout your life, and I know that it won't stop here. 

From taking your first breath when you came out of my body, to hearing your first cry. From learning how to walk, and talk saying your first words (mama & dada), and other words that include please, thank you, no (my least favorite), and my favorite phrase..."I love you mommy". 

In learning how to pray, seeing your first dance recital, and realizing that you could sight read at the age of six. Coming to terms in knowing that you have an innate talent on playing the piano when you were just six years old blew me and your dad away. From your first piano recital, and all of those huge accomplishments in between that seem small such as getting your first certificate in 1st grade for reading so many books in one month was inspiring. 

Those are amazing accomplishments girl, and I know that you are going to become someone even more amazing. I have a feeling that you will be known for your talents, and for being your beautiful self.  

Be strong. 

There will be times when "life" will want to take you on a downward spiral, and ruin your beliefs in accomplishing your goals. Don't ever lower your standards for anyone. Adversity will want to take over as the main source in your everyday living, and want to destroy all that is good. Don't let it. I pray that you will never allow the world to pull you down, but at times when you feel that it is take deep breaths, ponder, and kneel to God in prayer. And know that I will be praying for you, and with you from afar in spirit. 

You shine like the stars on a crisp, clear night, and your smile is as bright as the sun. Keep shining, and smiling, and your dreams will take you to places you have never been.  

Believe that! 

I love you girlie, and congratulations on a job well done! 

xo-mama

Because I am your mother.

Sierra, this past year I have noticed you...my ever loving, sweet eldest daughter, standing on your own two feet when it comes to making your own decisions, and in standing up for your beliefs.

One thing I love about you is the way you handle any unfortunate drama of any kind whether at church or at school. You have developed a unique tolerance in how to handle any kind of conflict, and have seen how well you've handled confrontations. Everyone knows how cordial you are to anyone that crosses your path.

I have witnessed how great of an influence you are when others are around you, and it shows in their countenance. You truly have that unique touch of lighting up a room with your contagious laughter, and lovely smile in which one would probably envy. I see the way you channel your love to others, and how they in return extend theirs.

For those who don't give you the time of day (which is very rare) will never know how great of a friend you can be, and they are totally missing out on a true friend.

Your boldness in the way you exemplify your talents is amazing, and I love how you and Lexie have a strong bond of sisterhood.

And how you and Noah have a beautiful relationship as a sister who is fifteen years older than him.

And no matter how much Chelsea can be a thorn on your side...you still manage to show her that unconditional love.

I have missed your blog so much because it was always putting an extra smile on my face, but I know that you've been mega busy with school, church activities, extracurricular activities, writing essays, applying for scholarships, and filling out college applications. Not just one, but seven.

For some people living the lifestyle of a mormon can be hard...especially at your age. It can really be a challenge because there are so many of us who although we share the same beliefs we still have different opinions.

There are some of us who are born into the church, and some who are first generation members (like me.) There are also those who quite don't see eye to eye, and some who just don't "get it", or never will.

No matter how our fellow mormons (including me), and nonmembers live their life, know this...

What matters are the choices you make, the life that you live, and how in the end all that will matter to your Father in Heaven is how you lived this life in being a kind, and loving person.

Always remember that the Lord is perfect, and not the people.

I know how much you love being a member of the LDS church, and inviting those in sharing the gospel. You love everything that it teaches you, and have so much knowledge when it comes to the scriptures! The love you have for the Savior is beautifully shown through the four walls in your room with pictures of Christ, the temple, and a list of your friends birthdays with a stack of stationary laid out on your dresser. It is shown in the way that you sing, and through your countenance.

Being that this is your senior year I am going to take advantage of my time with you, and want you to know that no matter which college you decide to go to that I trust you. I know that through prayer you will be guided to the right one. I have faith that you'll always make the right choices in this life.

I have complete trust in you. I trust you because of how your father and I are raising you. I trust you because you are true to yourself. I trust you because you carry a heart so strong, yet it has so much room for tolerance, and forgiveness.

I trust you because I'm your mother.

Continue to strive hard in following the true principles of the gospel, and live your standards so high that people will wonder & ask, "Why is she always so happy, and different?"

Trust in the Lord, and you will blessed beyond measure.

Enjoy your last year of public high school...you only get to experience it once!

2013 will be your year!

Loves & likes you-

mom

P.S. Try to keep your blog updated once you leave for college...okay?