On Always Being There For Our Children.

With the way life has been for our family with relocating to a whole new town, starting new schools in Central Jersey, and the way the world is getting in terms of telling us what's good which is really wrong as well as all the travesties that have been happening in the world (such as Europe, Texas, and Florida), I am extremely grateful for the continued strength that I have in raising the kids I have left at home with true, and honest principles. Having a temple so close to us now where we can attend weekly will give us that extra strength, and help us draw nearer to God as we attend more often. I see in each of our kids a unique light that shines so bright in which i hope others will see. I often remind them that anytime they feel that light going dim to fill it with doing something good. It's so nice to see them contributing small acts of service to one another as well as others. They may not notice it, but I do. I know that their generations can do better than we are today. They all have the potential to move mountains, and to pass on their smile, and love. Having our children growing older is okay with me...sometimes! 

Even though Sierra is on her own we keep in constant contact with each other. We pray for her 24.7. She may be 21, but I am so grateful for the phone calls i continue to get from her. Whether it's about a boy, her job, her education, or texting me a photo of her latest T.J. Maxx find, or calling me from REI asking me which color rainbow sandals she should get this time brings a whole bunch of happy to my days. 

See, thing is I didn't really do anything like this with my mom. I didn't call to lament to her enough about life, how fast my kids are growing, or any of the bad things that were happening at that time of my life, or anything that I needed advice on. Even though I feel as if I don't need my mom now at my age, I really do! And I'm so grateful for the talks we have over the phone, and for the sweet texts that she'll send from time to time (she prefers phone calls!)

One thing I know is that i hope those phone calls from Sierra keep coming. I want her to know that she can call upon me for anything, anytime. I want her to call me when she has an issue with her future kids, and lament to me on how fast they're growing up, and current events that will happen in her lifetime.  I want her to know that even though she's 2100 miles away I will sacrifice my time just to pick up the phone to talk to her.

It's bittersweet that at 21 she is continuing to find her own way, and learning from all the experiences she has faced in the past. And as for the rest of our kids, I want them to know that they can all rely on me, and their pa for anything when their time comes to permanently leave the nest. With school starting soon it's so interesting to see them growing up, and to notice their voices changing, standing up for what they believe in, and watching their personalities becoming fearless and bold. Love that my girls feel like they can talk to me, and ask for advice, and it is my hope that they will also have that special relationship with their future posterity. 

I have faith that they will, and that they can all do better than i did when I was their ages!  

 

Be Still, Listen, & Never Take Anything For Granted.

I find myself to be more in tune with the spirit of the Lord, and spiritually focused when I'm by myself in the house, or when the kids are asleep. It has been a very long time since I've actually had a couple of hours to myself, & I'm beginning to really appreciate that time when I'm alone. No work to be done in the house, no job to have to rush to. No tv on for background noise, nothing. Just pure silence. I've never felt extremely needy for the Lord until now. it's amazing to me that I don't even have a desire to turn the TV on or log onto the computer to scroll through social media after the kids are gone. My priorities are seriously changing more now than ever before. Maybe it's my age, and the fact that all of my kids are getting older, and that they are, even at a young age, are beginning to find what the meaning of life is. Yeah...that's it. I know that when times get tough I tend to turn towards god more. It shouldn't be that way, but I have been praying a lot lately. Praying that i will continue to study the Scriptures every day and not just read them through quickly, but to sit down, think, and I mean really think, wonder, imagine, hope, and pray that even though the days can sometimes be bleak, that the sun will eventually shine after a long storm, and that there are better days ahead. That when one of my kids are having hard times that they will know to always turn to the Lord in prayer for answers, and healing. That my faith will never falter knowing that the decisions my children make especially when it comes to a spiritual one is correct, true, and inspired by God. I know that I have taken the Gospel for granted at times and even though I read with my family in the evenings on a daily basis, and pray with my family, my guilt of not reading the scriptures on my own as much as I'd like has been getting to me, and I don't want to do that anymore. I love my family. I love my heavenly father, and I'm so thankful for all the things that He has put me through in this life to learn so that I can grow spiritually. So that I can appreciate what's around me more, and not even care about the drama that goes on in my surroundings, or social media or how many likes i get on my pictures or the comments that are going to be left on my posts. What matters to me is the time that I have with my family, my friends, and to appreciate the life that I have been given. To pay more attention to the tiniest things that at times I've felt may be unnecessary to pay attention to. 

Prime example...

Noah showed me a picture the other day. He drew a picture of a heart with two stick figures inside, and one was colored red and the other blue. Blue because that's Noah's favorite color, and red because that's Jons. He then asked me to write, "to daddy, this is a heart for you. love noah" and you know what, I stopped what I was doing. I was in the middle of blogging , and immediately got off the computer. I paid attention to him & asked him about the picture and told him how beautiful it was. that his heart was perfect, and that he is perfect, and that his daddy is an awesome daddy, and for that moment I didn't even care about the computer, or anything else. That time was all about him. I have about 4 hours to spare with him in the morning before he goes to school and the moments that i don't pay attention to him will never return. I will never get back those moments. 

Another example...

One morning I came out of my room and saw Noah in the kitchen. I stood behind the small bookshelf near the staircase for a minute without him noticing that I was watching him. I saw him take the milk out of the fridge, grabbing the cereal from the cupboard and attempting to pour it on his own even when the gallon was full. I have seen him attempt that effort at least twice now. That should be a proud mama moment for me because that's telling me that he's independent, but at the same time it was a bit bitter. I know now that he does that on his own, because he probably didn't want to bother me. The fact that he didn't ask, "mommy I'm hungry, can I have some cereal?" made me realize that maybe he feels I'm too busy to help him. Yes, it's great that he's becoming independent, but at the same time probably didn't want to bother me because "mommy's on the computer again." I'm not on the computer for all hours of the day, but to be honest even when I'm on it for even five minutes to google something tells him that I'm too busy, and I don't want him growing up thinking that his mommy was too busy to spend time with him before school.  

Motherhood is the greatest blessing of all, and I don't want to take that for granted either. I don't want to take any of my children for granted no matter how old they get. I love the gospel of Jesus Christ, and that is the key to my happiness. That is what keeps me holding on. My family is the glue that holds me together, and The Lord is the bright light that covers any pocket of darkness. 

When I read the scriptures on my own in a still, quiet place those are the times when I truly feel His presence, and my time is all focused on Him. And what a feeling, and a blessing it is to actually hear His answer! Having my daughter Sierra learning all that she was taught in the MTC can really change your perspective towards many things in life, and I can see that it has for her, and when I don't skip a day of reading the scriptures, and praying my day runs a lot smoother. That works for me, and I see the proof of joy when I do it. 

Because in the end, all that's going to matter to the Lord is what I've done in this life that deals with family, & what I did for others. Nothings gonna matter more to him than that. Sure The Lord may be pleased with how much knowledge one has with the scriptures, but to me what matters is what I did with that knowledge. Not how many scriptures I memorized, but if I'm actually living the gospel, and following those scriptures in a Christlike manner. I'd like to think that I am, and trying my very best to live accordingly. 

I'm grateful for the opportunity I have to listen in on the general women's session which will be held tomorrow evening. The inspiration I receive from our women leaders is so inspiring, and I always leave with my heart cemented to the words that were given, and sometimes it's what I needed to hear. I'm extremely grateful for the gospel, and for my family that I'm so bonded to and love so much because they are the only ones that I'm gonna take home with me when this life comes to an end.

Have a lovely Easter weekend everyone! 

Always Be Brave Kids.

For those of you who faithfully read my blog you know that my writing is all about family, trials, adventures, and the drama that can come from it. I try my best to keep my blog positive, and inspiring, but sometimes that's not always going to happen. When it comes to my children I'm like a lioness, and you better believe that I'm going to protect my kids from anything that may be harmful to their well being. However, I have learned to step back at times so that all my children, including my six year old can learn to be independent, and govern themselves. 

Ever heard of that old adage when a mother tells her child to not touch the stove or you'll get burned, but the child doesn't listen, hence burning themselves? Well, it's the same with teenagers. We can tell them what's good and bad, which friends seem unreal, and real, good, and not so good. But their not always going to listen, and eventually they're going to have to get hurt in the process, and learn on their own. 

As a mother I have that radar vision as to knowing which kids are a good influence to my kids, and which ones are not. I have a vast, extensive experience as to knowing which friends are real, and not so good because I dealt a lot of that in high school, and believe it, or not I sometimes deal with that today as well. I can tell when danger lies ahead, and when someone is a bad influence, or is not being genuine. I also have learned to listen to that still, small voice to guide me in all that is good. 

When one of my kids come home stressed, sad, not really being themselves, and then they burst into tears, there's something seriously wrong. Especially since I'm so used to seeing my kids cheerful. Luckily I have my past experiences to help them out with that. I do however pray for myself in seeing every person that's not so nice as Heavenly Father sees them, a brother and sister in Christ, and that is a work in progress for me. But just as I learned for myself, so will my kids. 

And they pretty much have. 

I advise my kids to be aware of their surroundings especially when they are out with their friends as well as their influences, and because there is so much negativity, hate, and temptation in this world they need to be extra careful in the choices they make. But there is one thing that keeps my kids grounded that helps them stand firm and true to who they are, and that is the gospel of Jesus Christ. Both of my oldest daughters have learned that the Lord is their light in every dark situation, and through Him everything is possible. And when others who don't have an understanding of our beliefs, see that light, that different, unique light, everything bad, and dark in the world including the friends who you thought were your friends can test you, and try everything in satan's power to bring you down. Shunning you making you feel worthless, trapped, and useless. I know exactly how that feels because I myself experienced drama as a young girl with my so called friends, but because of what I endured in the past, and went through I am who I am today.  I learned from it, and strive my very best to stand firm in my actions as to what i believe to be right, and true.

I see a lot of my girls in me. Particularly Lexie. Strong willed, and believes that people can change. But when they don't the disappointment kicks in, and then you wonder why, and how people can be so mean. That is something she is learning so far this year. Not everyone is going to be the same as they were when you met them back in third grade, sixth grade, heck even freshman year of high school! People change. Teachers get rough, and so does life. She does give people the benefit of the doubt, and although that's a good thing, there comes a time when enough is enough, and you have to sever something that is not good. Whether it's a friendship, or something that is just weighing you down. To turn away from it, and ask Heavenly Father for guidance. The teenage years are tough, but if you hang firm to what you know is right the Lord will be there by her side, and I know that she has turned to Him for strength.

Every first Sunday of the month in our church we have what you call a testimony meeting. Members of our congregation will sporadically stand up and bear testimony, and testify of truths of the savior. Earlier this month Lexie stood up to share her thoughts, and I was overwhelmed at her testimony. I didn't realize how difficult this school year has been for her, and that she was in so much pain. I figured if she brings home A's, and winning tennis matches that everything is fine. I mean, I knew that she was having some off days, and after talking about it she'd be fine. Little did I know she was holding it in, being herself trying not to let the problems get in her way. How grateful I am to God in giving my child the strength to endure the harshness that this world brings. Especially to the good kids who are targeted because they are different, and strive to be good. I admire her for standing up to bear witness knowing that Heavenly Father is there for her, and I found that extremely brave of her to do that. Especially in front of the congregation, and through her tears it was evident in her voice that she knows that Jesus is the Christ, and that He walks with her every step of the way. 

I also want to add how proud I am of Lexie in how she has managed the change in her friends, and how society lives in todays world. And although there will be many more times where she may break down, and tear up because let's face it...teenage girls are emotional. Especially when one exhibits that shining light. And sometimes people are afraid of that light, because it's a different kind. 

One thing I've taught my kids is that as you get older people change. The friends you thought were your friends shift towards a different direction, and begin to drift away. And if you're lucky you'll have one, maybe two friends from high school whom you'll keep in touch with, and visit from time to time. This I know to be true too. 

Truth is we know what holds us together, and as a mother you better believe that I'm going to strive to hang on to that iron rod, and be there for my children until the day i leave this earth. And one thing that I will always advise my children is to always be brave. To know that among all the calamity that the world brings there is also beauty and light. That they are never the issue. To always smile, and be that light. To teach them that ugliness never needs to stand in the way. All they have to do is be brave enough to turn away from it, and to always head towards goodness, and light. Especially that, which is Christ. 

Have a wonderful weekend! 

A simple note that lead to a new friendship.

Everyone has different trials, and each of us handle it the best way we can. The Lord gives us trials that we can handle, and the ones that I get may not be easy for someone else, and vise versa.

When I go through life's trials I try my very best to not say, "why me." I know that being without a vehicle for the past couple of months has been a challenge, but at the same time has brought forth many blessings into my life.

Blessings such as making another friend. 

There are no coincidences in this life, and I know that the Lord works in mysterious ways. Last week I came home to find a note on my door from someone who was interested in buying our Quest. I put it aside and this morning had the urge to call.

Our phone conversation went from, "Hi, I'm Rose and came home to find the note you left regarding our Quest, and in being interested in buying it" to "thanks for calling, and by the way...if I can't find that Book of Mormon that those missionaries left me long ago...can you send me one?" Time to put those missionaries to work!

I'm blown away at how Heavenly Father puts people in our path for a reason, and how this lady felt prompted to put a note on my door even though we didn't have a FOR SALE sign on the car. We were on the phone for about 40 minutes getting acquainted, and talking about God, life, trials, and other things. We are both about the same age, and have a lot in common. I felt so comfortable in talking to her, and we were even speaking the spanish language! Heck...I feel comfortable talking to anyone! I came home so excited and told my better half about my "gospel sharing moment of the day", and he was happy for me. I love sharing my life's experiences, and how much the gospel has influenced my life for the greater good.

I have also noticed when I am having a rough day, or going through a major trial- sharing the gospel, and serving others helps me to be selfless and not focus on me, me, me.

It's not all about me, it's all about how I can handle myself in any hard situation, and in thinking of others.

I also found this note that made my morning from my youngest daughter...

She obviously feels that everyday should be mother's day, and I loved waking up to this sweet note. I did love the wonderful planter that she gave me in which I neglected to blog about (it's still alive!)

It's the simplest things that make my day even better. I also like what it reads at the bottom-"We serve where you serve". That is so true! She served me this morning, and I served someone else in sharing the gospel.

*Thanks Navy federal credit union for printing that quote on your paper!

Looking back at a nomadic life

Sierra-Chelsea-Alexandra~Valentine's day photo, 2007   

"We are each on our own journey. Each of us is on our very own adventure; encountering all kinds of challenges, and the choices we make on that adventure will shape us as we go; these choices will stretch us, test us, and push us to our limit; and our adventure will make us stronger than we ever know we could be."

~Aamnah Akram

I remember the very first time I began to take pictures of my three daughters, and I mean really take pictures (we had a nice Nikon that my husband had since high school), was when we moved to North Carolina five years ago. I was a 24 hour/seven day a week picture freak. I took pictures of them on every holiday, and would mail them to my friends and family. I even did fourth of July photos! If I had started a blog back then I would have had so much to show and tell. I guess I wanted everyone to know what we were up to and that we were okay and that we are continuing to bond as a family. I'm sure that a parent no matter how old we get will always tend to worry about us. Hoping that we are financially secure, paying our bills, having food on the table, putting the Lord first, making sure our kids are doing fine. I remember my in-laws having a concern because of our move from Utah to North Carolina. I admit I was a little nervous myself, and excited at the same time. With all the moving that we've done, and being in so many different wards I knew that through the grace of God things will fall into place in North Carolina, and they did. 

They always do. 

Lately I've been in a "looking back in time phase" because things seemed so simple back then. The girls were younger, there was no drama among them in church or school, my husband didn't work on Sundays, we had the most awesome piano teacher, we lived near an equestrian area where Sunday drives were a treat. The economy was stable, life was slower, people were nicer, your neighbors were your surrogate grandparents, and if you just made one good friend in your neighborhood, and in your congregation...you knew you'd be okay. All the moves that we have done up until now have been quite adventurous and we have learned a lot from them. I have taken some of those experiences with me, and have grown stronger from them. I have had some of the best examples of members from my former wards built inside of me, and when I read back in my journal of all that I learned from them, I act upon it. I am reminded of why I am now here in New Jersey. I know that Heavenly Father will always look out for us no matter what. I know that the trials, the drama, and challenges I have been through here are for a dang good reason. I know they are to prepare me for what is to come for our future as a family. They have also occurred to help me learn, and to possible help others grow.

Timing is everything, and things happen on the Lord's timetable...not ours. I have learned that certain things have come up at the time that they should. There are times when I look back and say to myself, "If only this happened when we lived in Texas, Utah, or North Carolina, or if only I would have known this sooner." I look back at all the factors, and the things that were happening at that time, and the spiritual level of maturity I was at. Then I realize that it wasn't supposed to happen at that time. Let me tell you. God knows us very well, and He knows best! I am at an age, and at a spiritual level now where I feel confident that I can handle any hurtful, or challenging phase. I believe that it's the faith that I pray for everyday to help me carry the burdens of "real life" that are on my shoulders. Eventually they are lifted, and when they are I am extremely grateful!

We will never live in a rosy, peachy perfect world. No matter where we have lived we have always taken the Lord with us. We take our testimony with us. We take what we've learned from people with us. There is always a church to welcome us. One thing that I have learned throughout our nomadic life, and in the 19 years of being a member of this church is that the Lord is perfect, and the church is true. PEOPLE (including myself) are not. 

But God is and He will always be there no matter where we live, and who we are!