In The End, It'll All Be Worth It.

The Teenage years are often years of insecurity, 

of feeling as though you don't measure up, 

of trying to find your place with your peers, 

and of trying to fit in. 

You may be tempted to lower your standards, 

and to follow the crowd in order to be accepted

 by those you desire to have as friends. 

PLEASE BE STRONG. 

And be alert to anything that would rob 

you of the blessings of eternity. 

the choice you make here and 

now are forever important. 

~Thomas S. Monson

Lexie has had a copy of this quote on her cork board for like the past three years, and I never noticed it until now. I've always seen her cork board full of photos, sticky notes, and quotes but really never paid attention in reading them. Now that she is getting ready for graduation, and already preparing for college this cork board will be passed on down to Chelsea, and the only thing she left on there for her sister was a photo of them, and a copy of this quote. 

a good cause.

I began to cry. Not because of the fact that her hair will be gone. Not because she's going to look different. Not because I'll be embarrassed to be seen with her. Not because of the questions I might get asked. I cried because my 14 year old daughter decided on her own motive to be one of the candidates to have her hair cut, and buzzed to raise funds for child cancer research. I cried because of her bravery. It's official. She has been chosen, and so the short story goes like this... 

"Mom, what would you think if i shaved my entire head off?" I was like..."uhhh...why, what for?" "It's to raise funds for cancer research." Without hesitation, and a little bit of tears I said "it's fine with me." (my wow moment came shortly after!) She then asked me what her dad would think? I then told her go ask him. Better yet I called his name out to come into the living room. "Hun...come here." "Okay Lexie, ask him now." She asked him and he immediately said "go for it". I knew he would be supportive as we usually are when it comes to something huge, and different like this. I stood up from the couch, gave her a great big hug, kissed her on the cheek, and told her she was amazingly brave for her wanting to do this. 

We began to discuss the details of when it's going to take place, and how does one get chosen. Apparently the staff chooses three students from each grade. Lexie was so serious in wanting to do this that we got up early the next morning to sign a permission slip allowing her to be one of the candidates to participate. We got there a little late, but signed the permission slip anyway. She didn't think she'd get chosen, but I had a strong feeling that she was going to be, and sure enough she came home Friday after school telling me she was one of the chosen ones. I was really happy for her, and let me tell you something...I didn't recant in telling her that she shouldn't do it, and wasn't disappointed that she was chosen. As much I love her beautiful hair, I will love her even more without it! 

My heart swelled because of the choice as to why she's doing this. It is such a great feeling to know that I have a child full of strength and courage with a heart so big that she is willing to do this even thought she's not sick. The fact that we have had many family members from both sides of our families die of cancer has given her more encouragement to do so. Uncles, grandparents, and even friends who have suffered long battles with it, and eventually died from it. 

I began to cry because of the offering she is so willing to give, and in thinking of the cause. I am so pleased with myself in the way that I have raised this child. All of our children are sooooo different, and not everyone would have the audacity to do such a thing. I know that I would not have even thought twice about cutting my hair (was made fun of too much as a kid with an afro) much less having it buzzed off at her age. What an awesome young woman! 

I am in awe of her bravery, and the willingness for her to do such a selfless act of love. I count my blessings that the Lord continues to give me when it comes to our children. I am thankful for having a heart so big in allowing my daughter to give up her gorgeous hair for this stupid thing we call cancer.

And lucky for locks of love to be soon receiving some beautiful, healthy hair that has never been damaged by any chemicals! 

She has three weeks to enjoy her hair before it gets buzzed off! 


The End.

**Our goal is to raise at least $500.00, but we hope to surpass that. If  any of you who would like to donate funds please visit the St. Baldricks Foundation website and you can donate there.  Donations as little as a dollar will help increase the funds! This is such great cause, and again I am humbled that our daughter has chosen to do this.  

A special thanks to those who keep up with this blog!

xxx-Rose

opposition in all things.

Washington D.C. temple-December 2013

Opposition really takes a toll on us when we least expect it. Especially when you're striving to do the things that are right. There are a lot of changes about to occur in our lives in a couple of days regarding our family, and I'll tell ya...that devil knows how to work on our weakest spots, and man is he good at using that against us. Especially when he sees you on your knees pleading in prayer.

21 years ago when I was about to be baptized my mother and I got into the most heated argument about nothing. I honestly can't even remember what it was about. The only thing I recall is that we were talking about my baptism, and how I'm joining a cult, don't expect me to be there, blah, blah, blah, blah. All I remember is her yelling at me telling me to not expect to see her at my baptism. Funny how she was soooo super supportive in the beginning when the sister missionaries knocked on our door & the fact that I was about to change my life by seeking God. As it got closer to my baptismal date all hell broke loose. And for what. For simply wanting to be a better human being, and for wanting to change my life. Well...luckily she entered the chapel at the last minute before I got dunked into the holy waters. I saw her & nearly cried. I could see the happiness in her eyes, and that day ended well. It ended well. 

Another time my mom and I had a heated argument for no reason was when I was moving to Utah. I had been living in Corpus Christi working the worst jobs & getting nowhere. I had only completed a year and a half of college, but didn't pursue it any further. I thought that making money was more important than attending college. I know...not a good choice. I guess that's why I'm so anal retentive with my kids getting an education! I want them to do better than me! As it got closer to me leaving we were at it again. Arguing! Contention...not a good thing! Again...I have no recollection of that day. One thing I do remember is the simple fact that she was mad at me for leaving. 

It was the end of the year 1993, and all I wanted was to just get out of Texas and start a new life somewhere else. You'd think she'd be happy for me, but in the end as my sister and I were departing from our little old apartment on McArdle St. all ended well. I wish I had the 'smiley' pictures to prove it, but they got lost throughout all the moving my mother has done (frown face.)

See a pattern here with my mother's behavior? 

Always getting mad when it came to 'change'. 

I can recall other instances when she would get upset because of something 'changing' in my life. Such as the time I was moving from North Carolina to New Jersey. She had moved from Texas to North Carolina to be closer to us, and then Jon ended up getting transferred to Jersey. Not my fault, but we had to go where the promotion was being given. Another time was when at the age of 18 I decided to move to Florida with my sister. She was livid! I really think that at times she didn't want us to leave her. I know this may not make sense to some of you, but I feel that was her demented way of her expression of love. Getting upset, and then once we were away and settled all would be well over the telephone. 

When chaos broke out in our house this past Sunday morning before heading off to church that was the moment I recognized that I am my mothers daughter. I realized that I am doing the same thing with Sierra. I honestly don't know what triggers my behavior. Perhaps it's the fact that she is leaving to Utah tomorrow and the example my mother set has unfortunately rubbed off on me. Oh man...that is not a good thing! I thank the good Lord that I recognized this behavior and that I am putting a stop to it right now! I don't want to live a life like that every time 'change' occurs, & behaving like a crazy 'mean mom'. 

In my opinion I didn't think I was being mean to her, but in her eyes I was. I didn't criticize or demean her I simply just told her how she shouldn't have gone to UARTS and wasted her time at that school, and how she should have gone to Utah in the first place. This is her life, not mine. Still...no one deserves to be treated that way. No child no matter what age deserves to be treated in any negative manner. I don't think I handled it the right way, but in the end I apologized to her for my actions, explained to her how my mom did the same thing to me, but in the saddest way. We hugged, cried, laughed a little, and I told her how happy I am that she has chosen to go & live with her grandparents & attend college there. I told her how proud I am of all the accomplishments she has done thus far in her life. I was positive & emotional. Emotional because I don't want her to treat her future children the way I treated her. 

My children are the future & I dont want them messed up in any way. Sure we have the holy spirit to guide us throughout our lives & the gospel which brings us strength, but I also have learned that when something great is about to happen the devil tries to step in & mess it all up. I have been battling with such negativity since the new year began, but I have faith that all will be well with Sierra, me, and our family. 

Opposition comes around every once in awhile, but it doesn't have to linger for too long. Luckily I can pray it away, learn and grow from it! 

Sierra is truly is one of my most precious gifts God gave me. One who has gone through quite a bit in her young life & a one of a kind child. 

And she will be missed. 

Just a note:

For those of you who didn't get the chance to know her, didn't hang out with her as much, or 'gave up' on the chance of being a dear friend to her...you missed out. 

But don't fret...hopefully she'll be back for spring break & the  holidays!