prayers & gratefulness.

image via deseret news

After reading about the tornado that occurred in Moore, Oklahoma last night I woke up this morning with a prayer in my heart not realizing how bad it was until I read all the devastation that happened. 

The images were disturbing, and it kind of reminded of the Oklahoma bombing. Although that was 20 times worse I still couldn't help of all the devastion that has been happening all over the country. 

Superstorms, tsunamis, and tornadoes seem prevalent these days. Mother nature's ability to create such havoc has become so powerful today, and when you see all the devastation firsthand it is humbling, and transitions you into an entire different being. 

It helps me to continue to live each day as if it were my last, and not worry about the littlest things such as Noah throwing rocks, and going through a phase of spitting. Or stressing over the big things such as making sure Sierra is going to be "financially" set" for college. 

I have a home with running water, a husband who works hard enough to provide us with the things we are in need of, two small children who love running in the park, and two teenagers who stand tall in their beliefs who make excellent grades in school. 

How grateful I am that our home wasn't destroyed by Super storm Sandy last year, and that my family in South Texas continue to stay safe. We never know when catastrophe is going to hit, and I pray that if a time comes when another disaster such as Sandy hits in any area that I will be with my family. 
If we happen to be separated I pray that where ever my husband and children are, that they will be surrounded in the arms of safety, shelter, and love. 

I pray. I pray. 

*****

On a brighter & grateful note, I am posting this video I made for my daughter on her 18th birthday this past weekend. It's a compilation of 18 years of her life in pictures. So thankful to her for who she is, and for who she will become. 

I have posted it on other social networks, but not directly on my blog, so for those of you who haven't seen it yet, or have already seen it, and & are not sick of it yet...enjoy.

Our baby is 18! from Rose Jorgensen on Vimeo.

18 candles.

Sometimes I wonder if Sierra will ever slow down when it comes to attending activities, and spending time with her friends. I honestly don't think she'll slow down the 'spending time with friends' part because she loves them too much to not find the time to spend with them.

Saturday was her 18th birthday, and as much as I wanted to have her all to myself, and take her to the city to see a Broadway show, or out to eat at her favorite restaurant she had too many requests with 'friend time' and this year we had to share our daughter. 

So on Saturday morning we let the birthday girl sleep in until about 10am while Jon made her favorite breakfast...french toast, and we all ate breakfast together. 

We did manage to squeeze in a bit of shopping time (thanks to gift cards) during the day for a couple of hours before she had to run off to her choir retreat at 4pm. We didn't make her a birthday dinner or do her cake that evening, because I let her spend it with these girlie's.

picture by emily c.

What can I say...I'm a cool mom who has allowed her to do more things this year than I ever did her first three years of high school. I blame it on Jersey, and the fact that I have realized that I can't coddle her forever. One thing for sure is that I'll always be a parent first.

She did however come home exhausted from having way too much fun with her girlie's, and because we had these meat loaf cupcakes for dinner she wanted to eat one along with some leftover homemade mashed potatoes. See...that's what happens when you go out with your friends. You miss out on a good dinner at home! 

*****

Sunday morning began with attending an amazing session of stake conference, and I am glad that it was only for two hours because we wanted to have enough time to celebrate a be-lated birthday dinner for her, and do her cake before she headed out to church again at 6pm for a fireside. 

Time flies when you're having fun, and realized it was a quarter to six. We were like, "crap we need to sing 'happy birthday' to her, and hustle up so that Sierra can get to church." That's what happens when you have three girls at the dinner table, and all they do is yap, yap, yap. Gotta love those family dinners. 

We joyfully, (and me with my odd sounding singing voice) sang "happy birthday" to her, and she managed to blow out all of her 18 candles in hopes that whatever she wished for will come true. 

Sierra came home from the fireside filled with elation. I can tell that this girl really listens at a fireside because she always comes home giving me a thorough, detailed description of how it went, who was there, who spoke, and what it was based on. 

She also had the privilege of listening to President Vai Sikahema give a talk. She especially got stoked when he referred to Sierra in his talk. What a guy! 

It sure was a great weekend celebrating Sierra's 18th birthday, and even though we didn't go to this city to celebrate her birthday, or spend the day in New York as we would in the previous years, what's more important is surrounding herself on her special day with goodness, and genuine love. 

I honestly believe that she received all of that, and more on her 18th birthday. 

to Sierra on your 18th birthday.

This is it. Your 18 years of age, and although your considered an adult, I personally don't think you've reached adulthood until your 21. You still have to let us know where you are at all times, and at all places. That is until your on your own. 

In three and a half weeks you'll be graduating with honors, and attending one of the best performing arts school in Philadelphia majoring in a field that surrounds your entire being with happiness. 

And because you will be living on campus you have my permission to call me everyday. Okay, I know you may not call everyday, but know that you can call anytime day or night! 

I know that you will be safe while living on campus. The choices you make determine your future both temporally & spiritually and I always pray that they will be the right ones. 

Continue to strive to continue to live high standards. Something that you were taught since you were a toddler. I trust that you will be mindful of your time, and that you will continue to attend church every week so that you can be strengthened and nourished with Christ's love. 

Always remember that special place that will take you away from the stresses of the world, and to make an effort to find the time to attend. Continue to build up that testimony by sharing your beliefs and in being a great example. 

Express yourself with kindness, love, and compassion for those who are less fortunate, but always be aware of any negativity that comes your way. 

Always remember to listen to that still small voice. Especially when it nudges at you, and whispers to you, "it's not right."

Surround yourself with great friends no matter what color they are as long as they uplift your life. 

Study, study, study, but have fun too. The right kind (smile.)

You will be living in a city that is filled with so much art, culture, and history. Take advantage of your free time, and explore your surroundings. 

I can't believe that 18 years of your life has passed through, and I know that it's time to let go of the reigns. Although I feel as if I'm ready to let you go, I know that I'll cry like a baby once we leave your dorm room. Knowing the faith that I carry with a daughter like you reassures me that life goes on, and I  can carry on. 

And with a prayer your father and I will walk away with our heads up high as parents saying to each other, "We did good with this one. Oh yes, pretty darn good."

Happy 18th birthday to you my dear Sierra! May it be the beginning of a year filled with tremendous amount of blessings for a fabulous year! 

XO-Mom & dad (not really, but you know him...he's not much of a writer.) All that will change though once your gone. Maybe.

Keep smiling!

five years with the kids from Lewis.

We have lived a pretty nomadic life since Sierra was five years old. After getting married we moved to San Antonio, Texas two times in four years, lived in Salt Lake City for 10, North Carolina for two, and in all those years we learned a lot. It has taught us how life is different everywhere, and to live each day to the fullest. 

With every move I always thought that the grass would be greener, but that is not always the case. I realized for the past five years of living in New Jersey that no matter where we live the grass "can" be greener, its up to us to keep it watered. And that is something that I have taught to our girls.

Moving to New Jersey during the summer five years ago wasn't too scary for us as parents because we've done it so many times, and although the girls seemed excited to move yet again... I knew deep down Sierra was a little nervous. 

We moved here in her eighth grade year, and I know that had to be a little tough. Having left her friends in Utah to move to North Carolina, and leaving her friends from NC to make new ones in New Jersey is not easy for everyone. Luckily Sierra has a heart of gold, a bubbly personality, and a mom like me to encourage her that everything is going to be alright, and for the most part it has been. 

I mean who wouldn't want to be friends with someone who has a smile so bright, and seems to laugh at everything! 

few kids from her 8th grade class, circa-2009

Still, I wondered how starting over in a new school, trying to figure out who's who in the eighth grade class at Lewis would benefit as to who she is. And who would accept her for who she is. I always told her to just be yourself, be friendly, and always smile no matter what. 

After learning that most of these kids grew up together, and attended the same elementary school that it could be a little tough for a "newbie" to just jump in and be a part of "the clan". 

Ms. Czbas drama class, circa-2009

Luckily for Sierra she met four lovely young girls who helped her tour the school at orientation during the summer, and after seeing the friendliness they all showed assured me that Sierra was going to be alright. 

Regardless of these kids growing up together or not. 

Although Sierra has had her ups and downs (more ups) throughout the past five years, in the end they have all mended broken hearts, uplifted each other in their own way, and are all graduating from high school next month! 

I can't believe it. I look back at these pictures, and still see her as my little 14 year old as if it was yesterday.

She had so much fun at her final and only year at Lewis middle school, and is so happy to have "grown up" with these kids for the past five years.

I mean...look at them in this photo jumping for joy, and just being happy! It's like they're shooting for the stars! 

I know that she had a good year at Lewis, and that the four years of high school with these kids has been a pretty good blast! 

**all photos taken by the talented Ms. Cathy Czbas

her wishes.

Enjoying a walk on the sand in Wilmington beach, NC before moving to the Jersey shore-circa, 2008

I cannot believe today is already Wednesday, and that my baby will be 18 in four days! Since I have Sierra's blog bookmarked as one of my favorites I decided to read some of her old posts. 

It's been a year since she's updated her blog, but her excuses are acceptable. I would like for her to keep her blog updated once she gets settled in for college so that we can see what she's up to. Hopefully she'll have more time to write, and won't be as "busy" or "stressed". Ok...I know, she'll be both from time to time, but c'mon...she is a great writer, and I love how she puts her words together. I'll beg her to write a post every now and then if i have to! 

As I was scrolling down through her posts there was one in particular that caught my attention, and I couldn't help but to stop and think on every single "wish" that she jotted down. Makes me wish I had that same thought process when I was her age. Maybe I wouldn't have gotten into fights, cut class, smoked, drank, and did stupid things just so I could "fit in".

And maybe I would have been more motivated in making the choice to be happy, to smile often, to have been more mindful of the good friends instead of hanging with those that weighed me down, and to have been more familiar with the divine. 

I loved her post so much that I decided to just write it all down to the last word and period instead of linking it. So here it is:

I wish life was full of happiness, rainbows, and sparkles.
I wish school was easy, fun, and exciting.
I wish friends got along.

All day.

24/7

Without any bickering.

I wish the sky was always baby blue, filled with fluffy clouds, and 
I wish there was no Global warming.
I wish winter weren't so cold.
I wish summers weren't so hot.
I wish dreams could come true; but only the ones that are optimistic and waaaaay unrealistic.
I wish teenagers respected themselves more, and didn't feel the need to want attention in negative ways.
I wish everyone on earth knew they are children of God; a knowledge that is most powerful today.
I wish there was no such thing as "curse words".
I wish alcohol, drug use, and smoking were permanently banned from society.
I wish everyone were giving, selfless, and caring towards mankind.
I wish I had a panda bear as a real pet, and maybe even a teeny monkey with bright, orange fur.
I wish I could eat ice cream all day, everyday.
I wish teachers were nice, and not crabby all the freaking time.
I wish violence, discrimination, and hatred towards others didn't exist.
I wish guys from my school actually cared enough to treat women with the respect they deserve; with chivalrous acts of kindness, and always being a gentleman.
I wish the food at school was more appetizing, and actually good for you.
I wish projects, chem tests, history quizzes, math benchmarks, and timed essays were 
n-o-l-o-n-g-e-r.
I wish I owned a hot air balloon.
I wish I could go to the canyons in Utah whenever I wanted to...Because I miss that.
I wish I didn't stress out so easily, especially when dealing with the future college applications, SAT's and ACT's, and the stupid HSPA...And maybe just school overall.

I wish a lot of things....

But that doesn't mean they're going to come true.

But I can still dream, right?"

As I was reading all the wishes she had documented on her post it got me thinking about all the things that she would come to my aid for whether it was stressing out over a test, having drama issues with friends whom she thought would never hurt her, building and finding her own testimony about the gospel of Jesus Christ, knowing for a surety that she truly is a daughter of God, deciding which college she should attend, and that forgiveness is something that should be taught...not neglected.

I have to say that she has been able to handle all of the above without literally burning herself out to the ground, and without being judgmental towards mankind. Sure there were a few tears, but nothing that she couldn't handle. 

Going on some pretty good dates this past year made her realize that chivalry is not dead, that there are nice boys out there who still have respect for girls, and that taking all those tests in school are for good reason. She is grateful for homemade lunches, and for having family living in Utah so that she can escape to some "real mountains" from time to time. She loves all of her friends whether she has known them since kindergarten or seven years...even the ones who have hurt her. The four seasons help her realize that winters don't last long, and neither does the summer (at least here in Jersey.) 

And most of all she is grateful to wake up to a brand new day because thats another chance to start over. 

The dreamy wishes such as eating ice cream everyday, and having her own hot air balloon can come true. It's up to her to see the beauty in the world everyday, and she does a pretty good job doing it too. 

Her wishes are her own, and we all have ours too. I'm so glad I read this because it inspired me to wish more, and to believe that they can come true. I've seen her handle some of those wishes pretty well whether they come true or not, and she is on the right track as to who she will be when she "grows up".

One wish that can will definitely come true for her is eating ice cream everyday in her dorm when she leaves for college (she won't have her little sister eating it all up!)

Happy Wednesday! 

limited editions.

Pictures taken at the Forever 21 photo booth in Franklin Mills Mall, PA

I know I mentioned in a status on Facebook yesterday that this week is going to be all about Sierra, and it still is except that I am going to talk about the glorious mothers day weekend we all had as a family.

Especially with my daughters.

I love these girls. They truly do their very best in making me feel special not only on mothers day, but everyday. Ever since they learned what it means to love, serve, and fellowship has been a blessing in my eyes as a mother.

In Sierra's last year of spending Mother's Day with me (hopefully not) she and her sisters made breakfast in bed for me. They went all out in making me pancakes, scrambled eggs, and toast. Oh...Noah made the toast from what they said. This will be a nice ongoing tradition as Alexandra & Chelsea mentioned to me that they had fun doing this. They have never done this before, and I'm so happy that they did. 

It's a good thing we have church at 11:30am so I could take in all the love, and not rush eating, or getting dressed, and getting my little boy ready. I do pick out his clothes, but sometimes the girls or Jon will help him get dressed.

Church service never ceases to amazes me. We had two great speakers (no youth which was surprising), but nonetheless the wonderful talks they both gave were about their mothers, and it made me think of my own.

At the end of sacrament meeting the elders quorum handed every single sister (with or without children) a lovely rose.

I never realized how being a mom was going to feel like until I became one 17 years ago!! 

No matter how hard life may get as my children grow up with all the sacrifices we make for them, the laundry that piles up, the dirty dishes in the sink (i don't care for our dishwasher), the cheerios, goldfish, and fruit snacks that linger in between the cracks of the couch, and underneath the armoire on the floor, listening, and I mean really listening to my girls anytime they have something to talk about, the carpooling, and going to the park on a daily basis with Noah...being a mom is totally worth it.

And having Sierra as the oldest portraying a good example to her younger siblings is no disappoint. She is top notch, and is there for me when I need someone to talk to as well as helping me with Noah, and when Chelsea is being naughty. 

Sometimes I wish I had a medal for every good deed that my kids do. But then again...they don't need accolades of the world for me to show them that they are awesome!

After all..they are each a limited edition in their own right.

Just like their father.

I hope all of you had a beautiful weekend. Whether you have children or not you are still a mother. May you keep trucking along in all the things that you do with those kids, and that your heart is always full of hope, faith, and love. God bless you, and keep smiling! 

XO 

mormon prom-senior edition.

One of the greatest things that I have taught my daughter is to love everyone unconditionally, accept those who feel unaccepted, forgive others, and to never exclude anyone no matter their race, gender, and religion. 

This year Sierra decided to take one of her dear friends to her mormon prom. Although he is not a member of the church he truly is one of the nicest boys we'll ever know. He is a gentleman, and is accepting of Sierra's knowledge with her belief of the LDS church, and where she stands as a person in holding true to her young women values. They are good friends, and I see that they have a wonderful friendship. 

I'm grateful for the way she stays true to all of her girlfriends inside, and outside of the church. Even though she may not see them very much because of distance & time, and the fact that senior year gets busy for everyone, she was happy to have seen all of these lovely young women.

**soul sisters**

**SENIORS**

When we first moved to New Jersey this lovely lady told me that Sierra reminded her of her only daughter. I was impressed because a compliment like that coming from such an amazing family whom I just met assured me that Sierra truly is a wonderful person. 

Soon after Sierra became great friends with her, and serving in the youth committee together last year was the icing on the cake. After seeing how sweet, and fellowshipping this young woman was, she too reminded me of Sierra. Personality, looks, the hair, big smile, and the bubbliness that they both exhibited. The example of this sweet girl grew on Sierra even more. Sierra will always remember her example of kindness. Now she's happily married & she & her hubby are both attending BYU. 

I am so proud of Sierra, and the way she holds herself as a virtuous, lovely daughter of God. She is one of my greatest gifts that He handed to me 17 years ago! The greatest gifts she has given me for every mothers day since she turned 12 is having that pure love of Christ grow & prosper, and to never forget who she is.  

Being different is what makes her such a special, unique individual, and that is one of the many reasons why I love her. The light that she portrays is that of the Savior, and she is always willing to share that  light of love that Heavenly Father puts in her path with others. 

She truly is something else, and I'm so happy that she brought JC along with her so that he can see the other side of her life. 

Here are links to her past church proms:

**mormon prom-sophomore edition

**mormon prom-junior edition

the best mom I can be.

Being a mother is one of the greatest blessings in my life, and most of those blessings come from my mother. 

My mother did her best in raising me, and I feel as if I've come a long way in what I've learned from her. I have fond memories of our life together, and some sad. What I will always treasure are the fond ones. 

Throughout the years as I got older, and converted my life to Christ I knew that I wanted to become the best mother when it came to having a family. I also knew that I wanted to take the best attributes I learned from her with me, and correct any mistakes that she did while raising me. 

And I hope that I did. 

My mom had a rough life and because of her example of strength, and endurance I want to be the best mom I can be.  

There are days when motherhood can be hard. There are days when I cry, and days when I laugh. There are days when I smile, and days when I want to pull my hair out. But at the end of the day going to bed exhausted is a sign that I gave all of my energy in entertaining, and being attentive to my kids. 

Telling them I love them gives them assurance that no matter what kind of day I've had whether it was filled with stress, or happiness that love abides in my heart all around them.  

It is my hope that as my daughters grow up, and when it is their time to become a mother that they will learn from all the mistakes I've done (and believe me I've done quite a lot), and that they too will remember to correct them. 

And that our only son will find a wife who is kind, loving, spiritual, and a lover of children.

So to all you mothers out there I wish you the very best in being a mom, and in teaching them all about love, and mothering. Cherish, love, and take interest in all of their needs because they sure grow up way too fast. 

Although motherhood can be challenging at times especially in this generation we know that we can turn to the light of Christ who helped create our children.

He is the goodness that comes from the innocence that our children carry, and I pray that like a child I'll be able to have some of that innocence when it comes to being a mom.

"What matters is that a mother Loves her children deeply and, in keeping with the devotion she has for God and her husband, prioritizes them above all else."~Russell M. Ballard (Daughters of God General Conference April)

**Happy Mothers Day!**

happy half birthday.

picture via

I cried when I read this quote, and let me tell you something...It is so dang true, because in six months this little boy will be turning four. There is no time to waste, no time to say no to the little things. No time to reprimand for the pettiest things, and no time to give equal time to this little guy. Things I'm doing with this kid are things that I did not do with my three girls. Am I spoiling him? Possibly, and I'm okay with that. 

Time flies by so fast when you're having fun, but they also fly by when you're too busy. I've learned to never be too busy for our boy, or any of our girls. I've had the privilege of being a stay at home for 13 and a half years now, and I am so glad that I made the choice to sacrifice a career, and stay home to nurture and tend to my children's needs long after my second daughter was born.

Continuing to be a stay at home mom to raise my kids has been a huge blessing. All the girls are at school all day, and having Noah to myself is a treat. Therefore I have no excuse to not give him my time, and to do things for him, and with him. No excuse. 

He is such a stud. He's as sweet, and cute as they come, and I am treasuring every single second with him. 

Happy half-birthday Noah! Can't believe you'll be four in six months! 

potty training...for real this time.

For the past year I have been asking Noah time and time, and again "you need to start using the potty." He'll look at me with a huge smile, and just laugh. Sometimes he'll give me a tight hug, and with a few giggles say "no"! I let it go, and continue on with the day. He is spoiled, and I know I shouldn't just let it go. I really don't want to be mean about it, but I do need to be serious, and not give in to that sweet face of his. He knows that he should be using the potty. He knows what it is, and when he hears any of us pass gas he'll say to me, "mommy, you need to go potty." So he definitely knows the whole concept of poop, potty, in the toilet, underwear, "diapers are for babies" is. He will be four in six months, and I am pretty much at my wits end with this diaper changing on a three and half year old.

And here's why...

I'm tired of changing them! His poop reeks like an adult, and sometimes they are the smallest rabbit looking pellets. 

I'm tired of buying them! I know that I can be saving a ton of money if he was just potty trained! 

I'm tired of him always pooping in a fresh diaper. Every morning when he wakes up he waits for me to change him, he'll eat breakfast wearing a clean diaper, and then will almost immediately poop right after he's done. I know his routine now, and I am going to take advantage of that.

So I have decided to seriously start potty training Noah this week. He has a few of these anchor diapers left which I'll miss dearly, but it's time to say bye to them for now. I mentioned potty training him when spring came along, and well...spring is here. 

Our house gets super cold throughout the winter months, and I didn't want him running around in plain underwear freezing to death. Now that the weather is warmer I think it's seriously time to tackle the potty training.

Some of you may be asking "why isn't he potty trained yet?" Well... call me lazy, impatient, uncaring, whatever. The fact that he's my only boy, and possibly my last child I wanted to enjoy him being a baby still. I also didn't want to force the issue on him, and I've had a few people tell me that he will go when he's ready. 

I believe he's ready.

I am so glad that he has shown signs of readiness because it was starting to weigh me down. All my girls were easy to train, and pretty much learned on their own. So glad he only frowned a bit when he put his underwear on. 

He said, "I want my diapers" one time, and then I proceeded to show him pictures of kids his age on the internet going potty, and this nice potty seat that we're going to get for him. His demeanor changed, and now he's having fun playing with his toys in the living room wearing his cute underwear as I blog. 

I know there will be resistance along this journey, and the ongoing question of, "do you need to go potty?", but we're ready for it. 

I know consistency is key, and now that the focus is off of Sierra now that she is all set up for college, I can now focus on putting my full attention on potty training Noah. 

I hope this is it! Wish us luck!

a picnic, frisbee, & mr. softee.

The weather this past weekend was unbelievably beautiful, and this whole day was picture perfect. While my two teenage girls were at church prepping for the girls camp kick off, I had a blast spending most of the day with my two youngest.

My energy seems to increase when the weather is good, and as always we wanted to go to a park. Chelsea had the idea of having a picnic, and we were debating on which park to go to. 

We packed up some sandwiches, went to dollar tree to pick up some chips, drinks, and kosher pickles and headed out to a place where it was once a lake. 

When I blogged the other day about cherry blossoms, and mentioned how as we walked around the park & saw signs that read par 3 tee 13, well it is actually for disc Frisbee golf. 

The history of this park is very interesting, and I can't believe that every single photo on this post was once surrounded by water. 

Hard to believe right? 

*****
I hardly ever had picnics, or played frisbee as a youngster. Seriously I didn't. I only remember small moments in my youth in which my mother would take my sister and I to the park. It would usually be in the evenings when it was nice and cool, and the only thing they had were swings. Those hot Texas summers would really kick her butt, so she would mostly take us out in the evening (plus she worked most days). Back then we could stay in the park until 10 pm. Now most parks have curfews. 

I am so happy that I am doing things that keep me physically active with my kids, and that being a 'stay at home playground mom' is my role at this moment. Focusing on my kids totally helps me forget about the stresses of life, and any burden I may be carrying on my shoulders. And then there's ice cream! Mister Softee totally brightened our day, and it put a huge smile on the kids faces as they were eating their treats!

Unfortunately there are days where I may not be as motivated, but luckily I wake up with a prayer asking the Lord to help me be a good example to Noah and to give me the strength in doing this thing called motherhood. I want my kids to be happy, and when I see them laughing, and smiling I know that I'm doing something right. 

Especially when your kids see you "trying" to do the zipline (it's not for adults) & watching your eight year old grabbing your iPhone to take a quick picture of you while laughing at the same time. You know that you're day is pretty much complete, and that your "aha moment" passed & that is proof that their life as a child is pretty darn good. 

My days...I choose to make the best of everyday. No matter how gloomy the weather may be, no matter if it's that time of the month, no matter if I'm going through a trial, I always want to make the days for my children more meaningful, creative & fun. One that will go out of their way to do what they love. I'm young at heart, and if I have to cross those monkey bars next time with Chelsea so be it. Who cares if I get blisters. That's what a parent does, and that's what I'm trying to be great at. 

It's days like this in which I'm so thankful to God for helping me be the mother that I am today.

And this day was one of those days. 

Happy Monday!