"No...I'm not expecting."

After reading this post I've decided to write something similar but with a different vein of thought. 

I don't know if it's a trend, or the fact that the weather was so brutally cold in different parts of the country causing some of us to eat a lot of warm foods that a few of us are being asked the same question, "Are you expecting?" 

A couple of weeks ago a dear sister in my ward asked me if I was expecting. You can imagine my surprise along with my answer when she asked! "I wish!" is what I exclaimed. In the past almost 20 years of my life I have never had anyone ask me such a question...even when I was pregnant. The good thing about the outcome of it was that I didn't get upset. It didn't make me feel insecure, it didn't make me feel fat, and I certainly didn't take it personally. The fact that my last two pregnancies resulted in C-sections leaving me with a muffin top, mushroom, or whatever you call that piece of extra fat, skin, layer, what have you didn't offend me in the least. It also didn't help that this winter has been brutally ice cold which prevented me from serious exercise. I can't help it if my belly craved all those warm foods in the past two months! Luckily spring is just around the corner, then summer and then I can go walk on the bike trail every morning (or at least three times a week!)  

A couple of weeks went by, and because I hadn't seen this sister at church in a while decided to pay her a visit. I was checking up on her to make sure she was okay, and as I was leaving her apartment I happened to tease her about the "pregnancy question." She chuckled, and said, "You know Rose...I don't know even know why I asked you that because as I see you now you don't even look it. It must have been the skirt you were wearing that day." 

True. True. There are certain clothes that show off my muffin top because I can't suck that in, but I can't help it if that layer of skin due to c-sections sticks out. It did feel good having a conversation with her telling her the why's, and shouldnt's about getting pregnant at my age, and how I basically have given up. I was flattered when she said to me that she was not aware that I had already reached my 40's. She was nonjudgmental, easy to talk to, and the fact that I told her two years ago how I would love to have another boy gave her the conclusion that I might be pregnant. 

But...

Let's face it...I'm 42, and don't think I'm going to have a fifth. It's been four years since I gave birth to Noah, and I do remember telling her that it would be nice if Noah had a baby brother to hang around with. As much as I would have loved that I honestly don't believe it's going to happen. I know that there are many women out there who are having babies clear into their mid-40's early 50's, but as the years go by that lovely vision slowly diminishes.

I have numerous friends who have suffered miscarriages, and infertility at various ages, and I commend those who share their experiences about that online. I thank my Heavenly Father that I have never miscarried or had trouble making babies. I'm extremely grateful for having four healthy children, and if Noah is the only boy that I get to share my life with in this mortal life then so be it. He is so special, is spoiled by his three sisters, and because he was my surprise baby I count my blessings even more. 

I have to admit though...it was a bit of a shock to me when this sister asked if I was pregnant, but if anything I took it as a compliment only because she thought I was younger! haha! I have also trained myself to not take anything personal. 

See...when you've been through some pretty rough stuff such as I have in my life, you have the tendency to be able to handle any adversity, and I strive to not let anything get to me. I really try to not let anything get in the way of my happiness. Hitting my 40's and gradually maturing in the gospel of Jesus Christ has helped me to let all the little things go...especially when it comes to intrusive & personal questions. 

Still...one should never, never assume.

The world (unfortunately) is full of people who don't think before they speak, and many of us do not know the full story behind someone's home front, and we should really be careful of the things that come out of our mouth, and be mindful of that person. Most importantly we should never judge as to why someone is not having babies close in age, why they're having a baby late in age, or why they're not having babies period! These choices are our own, and not anyone's business. Furthermore, we need to reevaluate our brain before the brain asks a stupid, and hurtful question. 

Luckily for me I have a heart so big, and the ability to create great relationships with people that if anyone asks me something out of the ordinary I know I'll be able to handle it. Just be prepared to have an 'out of the ordinary' answer from me if you do (smiling.) 

I want to be that person that doesn't take anything offensive. I want to be one of those understanding, think before you speak, not hurting anyone's feelings kind of gal, I want to be able to laugh about the silly & stupid things people might say, & when I do that's proof showing me that I am indeed a true grown up...with feelings. 

Now, seriously...do I look pregnant??