Accepting the Flaws of Motherhood.

“Motherhood is a choice you make everyday, to put someone else's happiness and well-being ahead of your own, to teach the hard lessons, to do the right thing even when you're not sure what the right thing is...and to forgive yourself, over and over again, for doing everything wrong.” ~ Donna Ball

This is by far one of my favorite quotes. As I look back at my life when I first became a mom thinking how hard motherhood was going to be I couldn't fathom how it was going to be to take care of a 4 lb little baby at the age of 23 and you know something...it was pretty hard. It does get easier with each child depending on the personality, but sometimes we have to go through those rough patches, and bumpy roads to get better because let's face it...some of us usually screw it up with our firstborn, and somewhere along the mix we all have to have a wild card. Not too wild I hope, but I know that I have made a lot of mistakes as a first time mom, got a tad bit better the second time around, and with my third I feel as if I made some amazing progress. Now with my son, well...let's just say that mistakes continue to be made and there are times when I feel I know I shouldn't spoil him, but sometimes I just can't say no to that sweet face of his. But I know this... I know that I'm doing the best that I can with all of our children. 

Motherhood comes with a mixture of heartache, love, compassion forgiveness, and every Christlike attribute you can think of. When you mix that recipe together all that matters in the end is knowing you did your best. And the way you'll know is by hearing the words that come out of your children's mouth at the end of the day...such as "I love you mom." Especially when they finally received their own solid, firm testimony of the love they have for the Savior, and God. Even after all the mistakes, and hardships that they make in the end we love them with an unconditional heart bigger than our own.  

Writing this story the other day wasn't easy, and it definitely wasn't the way I wanted to start out this beautiful month of June, but sometimes I need to just let it out you know? And after hearing the lesson taught in Relief Society this past Sunday I felt the need to share it. I know there are many of us who have trials of a different realm, and some of us may feel like we don't know how to overcome them, or have anyone to talk to about them, but there is one thing you can have and that is hope. Hope that you'll be able to overcome any adversity that prevents you from being the type of person you want to be. Hope from being the kind of mother that brings such a loving and guiding spirit. We need a lot of love in this world, and some of us can't do without that. 

Praying your heart out with patience, and slowly eliminating the things that make you unhappy is a first step. Writing things down in a journal of the do's and don'ts of the pros and cons that you do and don't want in your life really helps. (hope that wasn't a confusing way to put it!) Going back every night to read what you don't want to do, and what you really want to do helps. Answers, and a change of heart may not happen overnight, but I am proof that it can happen. Each day I strive to be the best mom, daughter, sister, wife, and friend out there to everyone. 

Motherhood has flaws, and I will always have flaws because I know that I'm not perfect, but that's what makes me so unique. Motherhood will always have its imperfections, and I'm okay with it. Heavenly Father knows me, my true friends know me, and my family knows me, and that is all that matters to me. I know that everything that I had to endure throughout my life then was for a purpose,  and all the negativity that I sometimes face today is for a reason. To be strengthened, to be tested, to forgive, to love, to understand, to see if I'll turn the other cheek, to stay on that righteous path of eternal life, and to never give up on the Lord on building up my testimony. 

And being the best mom I can be.