Melancholy Days....

Lately, I've been feeling a sense of loss. Loss of time passing by way too quickly which is probably why I'm taking super advantage of spending so much time with our last two kids in the house. I don't always feel this way. It comes in spurts, and often at times when Sierra and Lexie leave after visiting me from college. Milestones such as school dances, birthdays, and graduations will trigger it as well. 

Technology/social media can be very unfair because it's so easy to click the button where it reads "see your photo/video from 9 years ago!" Oh, and the fact that most of the moms here at school are the same age I was when I had Noah have babies! Holding them, and coddling them brings back so many memories of my own kids when they were little. 

I'm sure there are other 47 plus-year-old moms who feel the same way, and I'm beginning to think it's okay to have these moments. I am happy to see my two adult daughters thriving and surviving, and happy when they come home from college and/or time off work.  I have gotten used to my oldest not coming home as much because her work doesn't allow her to take too much time off. Not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing! Luckily I still have a teen and a 9.5-year-old still at home and you better believe I am living in the moment each freaking day with them! 

Alhough I yearn for the days when life was easier when the girls were little, living in North Carolina with no smartphones, and cheaper cost of living, I am grateful to be living where I am where my kids are exposed to various culture, life, the world. To live fully and deeply in the moment with my last two kiddos who are left at home. It's been a blessing and at the age of 47 have learned to embrace this point in my life with grace, and appreciation. Especially since I've been a stay at home mom for 19 years! I may have my melancholy moments of my children growing up, but I'm grateful to recognize the gratitude within those treasured moments I had when I was as a young mom.