Beach Therapy.

Going to the beach is all kinds of therapy especially when you need to be reminded of how beautiful life can be. It's up to us to choose joy and I choose to be happy. Losing my momma hasn't been the easiest but I'll tell you that it can be a bit tolerable knowing that she is in a better place. I know that she is watching over me in hopes that I know that she's okay. The beach was her favorite and coming here gave me the reassurance that she is. That she is with loved ones catching up and enjoying each others company. I am so grateful for that feeling of peace and although I have days where I break down I know that it'll pass and that I will repeatedly remember her death but also celebrate it in a way where it can be positive and beautiful. 

Sunday Brunch.

Earlier this month we ventured out to the outskirts of Philly and explored Life's Patina Mercantile and & Cafe and it is the cutest shop. We went there for brunch and I had the keesh and Jon and Noah had the pork sandwich. It was delicious and the poppy seed cake was rich and mouth watering. I feel that my sweet tooth is diminishing. I've never had one to begin with but being that it's my birthday month splurged and ate some. I also love their home decor and they have funny birthday cards and fresh flowers. It was a beautiful spot and being away from the city was soothing. I love venturing out in the country every now and then. I love the city but sometimes you just need to getaway. Especially this time of year when the leaves are beginning to change.

I Choose Joy.

Don’t let the smiles fool you behind these photos. Yesterday was my 53rd Birthday and in all honesty it was a pretty hard day. A day of off and on crying-waiting for my mom's yearly phone call to hear her voice on the phone uttering those two words “HAPPY BIRTHDAY” Asking me “How is your day going?” “Are you doing anything fun today?” Yada yada yada.

Well, I am lucky and I am thankful that I have done fun things during my birthday month, but it’s still hard. The only difference is…is that I choose JOY. I choose JOY to make my days fulfilled and worth living. And that makes a huge difference when a loved one is no longer with you. Especially when it's your momma.

Chicago The Musical!

This past weekend we celebrated by 53rd birthday a little early and all I wanted was to go to the city to catch a broadway show and eat at one of my favorite overrated restaurants with my favorite photo booth! It has become tradition to see a show and since my birthday is on a weekday celebrated this past Saturday. After being on broadway for so many years we finally saw Chicago and it was so good. I was bummed that Alyssa Milano wasn't performing that day due to a stomach virus but hope to see her perform in it before her last performance on November 10th. It was a simple and fun evening. The weather was perfect and it always feels great to be back in my city but at times am grateful to have the opportunity to have both worlds. Living outside the city is a blessing at times because of the hustle but my love for New York will NEVER go away. No matter how noisy it gets I will always come back to her. Anyway, after the show we ate at the smith where I Jon had the yummiest burger and I had pasta with hot fudge brownie sundae for dessert. It was a perfect celebration and so thankful to have a hubby who makes me feel good inside and out! Okay I hope that didn't sound kinky! Y'all know what I mean!

Road Trip to Harmony, Pennsylvania.

On the last day of August we drove to Harmony Pennsylvania where we took in the peace and quiet that nature in the outskirts of Philly has to bring. It definitely felt like fall as we walked and stood looking at the Susquehanna river. Noah and Jon were having too much fun throwing rocks in the water while I gazed and took in all of the greenery surrounding the river. I love it here. It's so peaceful and the perfect getaway to escape the hustle and bustle of all the noise that we are surrounded with. Especially at this time with my mind still in disbelief that my momma is gone. I am doing much better now and know that my mom would want me to enjoy myself and to continue to do the things that she wasn't able to see or do. It's nice to go to places like this where I can stop and pause to think and clear my mind of all the noise in this world. Jon and Noah have been great at making me feel at ease and to remind me that life goes on.

Visiting the priesthood restoration site for the third time is always nice but this time my focus was on my myself and to take in the moments of the quiet. It is a great place to remind me of why I believe in God and in how the book of mormon came about. I will forever be grateful for the peace that it gives me when I am in  possession of it. This area has so much history and is a beautiful place to just walk and enjoy the fall season that is now upon us! 

More photos below...

The Coffee Mugg.

One of the cutest places my sister took me to while in Corpus was a quaint little coffee place called the Coffee Mugg and it is inspired by Harry Potter. I really appreciate the effort this coffee shop put into making it a fun, relaxing place where you can sit and sip on your coffee or hot chocolate. I had to take pictures of it because it's so cute and nostalgic. My entire family are huge Harry Potter fans and being here was a breather and a little get away from our mom while she was at home resting. I highly recommend this place if you're into coffee and even you're not like me it's still a fun joint where you can play chess and just sit and chit chat with your peeps or in this case with my sis.

A Day At The Pool.

I have to admit I felt a little guilty going to the pool after my mom passed away but the weather in Texas was brutal with temps that felt over 100 degrees! Oh how grateful I am for free pools that the city of Corpus Christi provides for everyone. We didn't spend too much time as the water was very warm. It felt like I was taking a warm bath! However, it was nice and I'm glad that we had a little bit of relaxation in the middle of all that was happening such as waiting for my moms ashes, and putting her little apartment in order and so on! This day was good.

Summertime Sadness.

Don't let the smiles fool ya in these photos. This whole summer has been filled with sadness and in all honesty I felt obligated to smile behind the lens. I was worrying to death about my dear mom wondering how much longer she was going to live after I flew back home. Little did I know she would die three days later. I did want to see the ocean before leaving and so my sister took me before I flew out. I call Corpus the "California of Texas" and just love the palm trees. They remind me of my mom when we last took pictures here with her. Bittersweet memories and oh how I do miss her. 

NOLA.

Our little trip to NOLA while on our way to see mom hit differently this time around. The fact that we were passing through this city was not to have fun but to remember. I honest didn't even feel like walking down bourbon street or window shop or see art and culture. And I love art! We did go to Lafayette cemetery and walked around. I love the architecture and the above ground tombstones. For some reason I found it gratifying. I was at peace walking around and admiring the family tombs. Maybe it was because we weren't going to bury my mom because she was going to be cremated. Noah also thought the cemeteries here are pretty cool. It sure was a hot day so we got snow-cones afterward. That is one traditional fun thing we did. 

In Memory Of Mom.

It's been almost a month since my mom passed and i have to admit my momentum in blogging has gone downhill. I honestly don't feel like writing but I know that it helps me when I do. Maybe one of these days I will write about what I remember about my mom and write a longer version of this story. We drove back to Texas to settle mom's things our of her apartment as well as go to the funeral home to have my mom cremated. Those were her wishes and although it was a very stressful day finalizing her final wish and everything that goes when a loved one dies we pressed on and got things done. 3/4 of our kids were there for moral support and to provide me, their aunt and uncle with love and hugs. It was bittersweet having them all here. The reason I say that is because mom passed away a week before we all arrived. She wasn't able to see any of the grandkids but at least they got to face-time her while I was there the first time. I was just so happy that Noah, Hyrum, Lexie and Chelsea were there and that we all arrived safely. 

Rest in Peace Momma...

Yesterday our mom lost her battle with Dementia. There is nothing that prepares you for losing a parent. As she was the only parent I had that raised me. I'm still not quite sure what to write at the moment. There will be no funeral service as she wanted to be cremated. When our kids fly out in August we will have our own little private little ceremony to honor her. We will forever be grateful for the thoughts and prayers that she made it long enough to spend time with me and my sis....but most of all our brother. He definitely was her "little prince." For the prompting that my dear friend Catherine had in flying me ahead of time to spend those final days with my mom. She was definitely waiting for me to see her. Go with your loved ones now momma, and be with you till we meet again.