Keep Calm On Carry On.

Life as a mother, and a being a member of this church can get overwhelming, but boy do I love it! I always want to make sure that my kids are staying out of trouble, and doing well in school, but most of all I want them to be happy. I notice that happiness comes from the home, and when they love school, and church you know it's because there is love at home. 

Being surrounded by happy children makes me feel good inside. I have a habit of being a little too involved with my kids feelings, and it's probably because my mother was always cautious about mine when I was young...until I reached my teens.

I'm a lot different than my mom was when she raised my sister and I, and although she did show me affection it was different than the kind I give my kids today. I always want to hug them, and be aware of their feelings, and/or if anything is bothering them. I wish that my mom would have been more attentive to my feelings, and actions. I believe the lack of interest my mom showed was due to working so much & the fact that she was in denial to see what was happening behind the walls of our own home with my stepfather and how numb it made her feel in not knowing how to handle that situation (I'll go into detail on that topic later) Because of everything that I learned & experienced as a child, teen, and young adult...I am who I am today. 

I am a mother who constantly seeks good works in this life, and in the lives of my children. A forgiving mother who loves the ones who have hurt me both in the past & present. A caring, kind, thoughtful mother who constantly says "I love you" at the end of each phone call with my kids, and as they are walking out the door to school. (i don't like texting too much.) I'm also a mother who scolds, and punishes if need be (which is very rare!)

Reasons to why I'm so different, and why life as a mother to me has been pretty wonderful is because of something that I did that changed my life for good.

That change would be becoming a member of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day-Saints. 

I remember being so lost and somewhat lonely especially after my sister got married. Most of my friends had gone away for college. Even though I was still living with my mom I was always trying to search for a happier kind of light. I knew that I wanted to make my life better I just didn't know how. Little did I know that that "happy light" would be the one of Jesus Christ.

I was still hanging around with some friends that I knew in high school at the time of my investigating this church. We'd go to parties, and clubs but the partying scene was getting old, and living in a small town in Texas everyone seems to do that. Not that I judge them because hey, if drinking makes you happy and calms your nerves after an eight hour workday more power to you, but that wasn't me. Socially or even in moderation...it just isn't me.

I decided to give all that up, and continued to find my way through life with a hope & a prayer. Little did I know that organized religion would be the answer for me. 

Religion is not for everyone, but it was for me. It is for me. Being LDS, and raising my kids in it has done really, really well for my family. I may not have a lot of knowledge of the scriptures, but darn it I try to study them as much as possible, and luckily I have a hubby who knows his scriptures like the back of his hand to help me answer any questions I may have.

I have many friends who are proud of my conversion, and how happy they are to know that all is well even after knowing what I endured as a young child. 

One thing for sure as I look back at all the trials that I've endured since joining the church I never gave up. The Lord has blessed me through those slip ups, and in ways that are profound.

Today I rely on Him every single day of my life. He is the calmness to my storms. Without the Saviors love, or this wonderful book I'm not sure where I would stand in this world today. 

This is something that has kept me going in times of stress, and life's struggles. This is what has helped me carry on through the hardest trials of my life, and most of all in finding forgiveness towards the things that I endured as a young girl, and the things I endure today.

There are days when someone will ask me, "How do you do it? Y'all don't drink or smoke, or even drink coffee & tea...What is the word of wisdom anyway?" The answer is pretty easy. I simply say it's not hard if you have the faith to pray for the desire to quit all those things, and we do have fun without it! Then again I wasn't heavily involved in any of those substances so it was easier for me to let go of them. 

The world teaches us that it's okay to do the things that are harmful to our body, and spirit. Sometimes I wonder how easy it would be to just give up life as a christian, and to revert back to my old ways. 

With all the moving we've done as a family, having kids in between, and a kid going off to college soon...I don't think I'd survive without those true principles that this religion has taught me, and continues to teach me.

I look back at my life on the naughty things I used to do & how I used to cope with things without the gospel or any foundation of Christ in my life. I'll tell you, it was not easy, and I would not want history to repeat itself in any form. 

There are times when I think to myself how easy it would be to play hooky & not attend church every Sunday, or not have our kids go their youth activities only to go out to behave like a bunch of rummy's. I honestly don't believe that our daughters would have the talents they have, and the blessings they receive now if they didn't have the gospel.

Then I come to reality, and say to myself, "Life without the gospel would be pretty boring, and probably hard!" 

Right now our life is wonderful with the gospel of Jesus Christ. It's not a perfect life, but it's good. Regardless of any trial...it's the here and the now, and the truth.

And right now we especially need God & his gospel even more. 

child, thank you for teaching me patience.

God knew exactly what he was doing when he brought Chelsea down into the world to join our family eight years ago. She is full of spunk, wittiness, and a lot of sassiness. She's 100 % dad, and 100% me, and I wouldn't exchange her for anything in the world.

The fact that she is the youngest girl in the family helps her get away with things...sometimes. Being the only one in the family (besides her dad) with naturally straight hair and a double crown on the top makes her even more unique.

And very special.

The minute we found out Chelsea was a girl I immediately knew that she was going to be unlike her sisters. The way my moods were when I carried her, the fact that she was one day overdue, a breeched baby who flipped in my uterus at the last minute which resulted in an emergency c-section, and born on her sister Alexandra's birthday meant that she wanted to be the center of attention.

Because she always wants to be the center of attention.

But this girl, she is awesome in her own right.

Frankly because she speaks her mind in the most polite way possible. She is very caring, and helpful and every teacher that she has had since preschool tells me she is their cheerleader, and 'mom' of the class. Always looking out for the smaller kids, protective, and extra helpful.

Sometimes I wonder, and I'll joke around with her present teacher and say, "really?" 

Then again I know how my daughter is. She may be a little sassy, and demanding at home because she is in her comfort zone, but in public she is the complete opposite. She can be quite the samaritan. Very kind, respectful, and mindful towards others. If she wasn't like that outside of the home then there would be some issues of concern, and I would have to find a way to change that..or at least try. 

Sometimes I wonder if I gave birth to her first would I have had more. Honestly...probably not. The way my patience was 18 years ago I probably would have gone into major depression. Who knows. Luckily my first two daughters had a talent of obedience the minute they came out of my womb. The Lord definitely knew what He was doing, and I thank him for giving me two children to teach me how to be patient, and to have somewhat mastered it when Chelsea was born...somewhat meaning I'm still working on it!  

She's just like her sisters in the aspect of being sociable, and she'll be the first one to say hello to another child, or adult. She is fearless when it comes to making new friends, and will say the funniest things.

She is gifted when it comes to piano. She obviously takes after her older sisters, and even though she and her baby brother Noah have a love/hate relationship...there's a lot more love involved.

Her generation is pretty awesome, and I actually look forward to this girl growing up, (and more gray hairs), and it'll be interesting to see what she'll be like ten years from now. 

Very interesting.

I have a feeling she's going to do wonderful things in this life, and become someone great! 

Because she already is. 

*****

Chelsea,  

Thank you for your tantrums, loud cries, and the little things you do that you know will push my buttons, because child...they are teaching me to be patient! 

You are amazing, and I'm so glad I had you! 

xo-

mom

The House of the Lord is a great blessing.

Today is Sunday, and this morning I literally woke up, clapped my hands and said to myself "today is going to be a great day!" I love my family, I love my life, I love the Savior Jesus Christ, I love testifying of Christ, and I love the church I attend. I love the fact that after all these years of being someone that has endured sorrow, trials, challenges, imperfections, & heartaches that my faith in the Lord is strong, and that I am still a member of this church that continues to attend. That has to attest for something don't you think?

The older I get, (okay...I'm not that old, I'll be 41 in 22 days), and the older my kids get I feel as if I am more in tune with the spirit, our needs, and the decisions we make in this life that makes us who we are as individuals, and as a family in striving to live a happy and normal life.

And I am striving to choose happiness everyday I wake up.

For five months it has been difficult to get to the temple as a family. I did go with the sisters from my ward back in June, but my husband hadn't been since our car broke down in March. I can't even begin to explain to you the joy, and overwhelming feeling that came over all of us as we were on the freeway, and the ear to ear smiles that were exchanged as we were drawing near.

Seeing the spires with the angel Moroni on the temple from a distance is always a sight for sore eyes. It's beauty on a hot, humid day still gleamed from within. The sky although a little gray still had a few white puffy clouds peeking out. It was as if Heavenly Father was saying to us "welcome back".

I didn't mind the heat, the drive, the traffic, and I didn't mind that my youngest daughter kept saying "are we there yet?". I also didn't mind that our kids wanted to eat first, and hit the book store before entering inside its holy doors.

Luckily we went to those places first because if we hadn't we wouldn't have been called as... a "witness couple". In the 20 years of being a member we've been a "witness couple" at least 15 times in about eight different temples. Our first time was two weeks after I was endowed, and that was in the Salt Lake Temple back in August of 2003.

When we attend the temple with a right frame of mind we are filled with so much love, and compassion. Those sorrows, heartaches, challenges, imperfections, and trials all go away for a couple of hours, and the decision I make each time I leave the temple is to be better.

It was a blessing that was needed, and a reminder to let me know that no matter what challenges come our way, I can be in tune with that still small voice that tells me, "all is well...all will be well."

a messy house can be a happy house.

"Excuse the mess...the children are making memories."

For the past 17 years in every place I've lived at I've always been a bit of a neat freak, and meticulous with how my house looks. They say the spirit dwells in a clean home, and I do believe that it does. It's just that lately with Noah being two he is as boyish as they come. Climbing on walls, coloring on the walls. Climbing on the piano, and chairs. Scooting the chair so he can gain access to anything and everything in the kitchen which could be dangerous. We have a wide entrance into the kitchen that I'd have to make my own childproof gate big enough to guard it. Luckily we do have childproof locks on the cabinets, and refrigerator, but he's figured out how easy it is to hold down the white gadget, and open it. One great thing he has done is throw away the trash in it's proper place instead of throwing it on the floor, or underneath the armoire waiting for one of his sisters to pick it up.

What I've come to realize is that messes are okay. I don't have to tidy up the toys that are scattered all around the living room floor every ten minutes, or neatly put away the flip flops in the corner entrance. I actually like the image of a slightly clean living room with colorful toys scattered around. Our house isn't too big, and our living room is the only place in which we entertain, and are entertained by our daughter's musical talents.

playing with dad

the living room in which the girls entertain guests, and themselves!

It doesn't bother me that as I'm sitting on the couch, I can see a cheerio, or a part of a banana peel underneath the armoire (even if it's black and hard!) I don't immediately pick it up like I used to. I will eventually, but if I'm in the middle of doing something with the kids I'll wait to clean it up. The coloring on the walls. Hey...they can always be painted right? Cover it with wallpaper right? Use a lot of scotch erasers right? Hardwood floors can always be swept, and polished right? There are so many alternatives in how to recover from your toddler doing his artwork on the walls.

Noah has gotten a lot better at throwing the trash on his own in its proper place, and if I happen to step on a cheerio or a pretzel on my way to the kitchen... that's okay. It'll get swept up eventually (or get eaten up by some critter.)

There have been many times when I've had an unexpected visitor and my house wouldn't be as tidied up as I'd like it to be. They'll comment that my house is so clean, and it makes me feel good knowing that they are saying that when they've accidentally stepped on a flip flop as they enter in while Noah is on the living room floor playing with his toys.

Truth is that I'm such an organized person, and because I don't have much furniture (our pianos are our furniture), or knick knacks there really isn't enough to clean up. People probably wonder how we manage to live in our house with four children. "Very easily" I'll say. I've just taught them by example, and we don't buy everything under the sun.

We've been in this house for four years now and the Bishop asked us the other day if our basement looks the same as we moved in (meaning if it was still bare, and if we have accumulated anymore boxes) I said, "yes Bishop...it still looks the same, and no we haven't really accumulated anymore boxes!" He was surprised and seemed very impressed! Apparently he saves things, and doesn't really throw anything away. We've moved so much in the past, and the fact that I was raised in a small house with a very neat mother...I have learned to be organized, and to only live with the necessities of life. I am teaching our kids to do the same thing.

Still...I want our home to be a clean haven while they build memories. I want to teach our kids that being messy is okay at times, but being clean, and organized is even better. I always want to have the spirit dwelling in our home. I want those who come into our home to feel warm, cozy, and happy. I'm sure that having a few crumbs, and cheerios on the floor won't make them want to leave.

After all...the authenticity of a family is what makes a house a real home. 

trials of our faith, an explanation, and a forgiving heart.

As I reflect back on all the places I have lived in I have to say how grateful I am for the friends that I have met, and still stay in touch with. Especially those whom I have reconnected with through Facebook (a huge thank you to Facebook.) It makes me happy to know that not once did I ever have an altercation with any of those friends of any kind!

My friends are a mixture of different religions, races, and that makes them very unique individuals. I continue to learn from their experiences, and I know which ones are true. Whether they are true friends or not...it doesn't matter to me, because I know that I am.

Although I had an absolutely amazing weekend with my family I had an experience on Sunday that I never thought I would ever have. I don't want to get into much negative detail because I only want to write positive, and cheerful things on my blog. The only thing I will write is how much I know the Lord loves me, and how much my family loves me, and how much my home teacher loves me (well...my whole family!) I am extremely grateful for the strength that carries me through all the tests, and trials that the Lord puts in front of me. I am grateful that I...as a human being, and devout member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints recognize my imperfections, strives extremely hard to live the gospel, serves others, and how I make the choice to quickly do something positive every time negativity comes into play.

I wasn't feeling too well when I woke up Sunday morning, and decided to attend church service anyway. I came home wondering why did I even bother going to church when I wasn't feeling well (my son wasn't either), but I made the choice to attend anyway, and then all hell broke loose (excuse my french.)

My son threw up, I was in extreme pain due to having a stye in my eye, and my youngest daughter overheard something negative someone said before sunday school started. It was all surreal, but I persevered and because I have an awesome husband whose spirit shines like sunshine helped me explain to my seven year old that not everyone is like Jesus and that we need to love them, smile at them, and help them to be a good example. It did make my daughter feel sad because it was directed at me. What child wouldn't feel bad if they heard a comment directed towards their mother? Luckily children are resilient, and easily forgiving.

And at the end of the day my better half told me how strong I was in keeping my faith through that small trial that I endured on that day.

Well I made it through that day. I've written in the past that nothing will damage the spirit that carries me through times of stress, and for the testimony I have for the gospel, as well as the love I have for the Savior.

Nothing.

It does make me sad when others don't recognize their harmful actions, and forgive me if it sounds like I am judging, but if your alive and breathing, and don't appreciate the life the Lord gave you...do not harm those that do. I do care about everyone that the Lord has put in my path...even those that do harm. Satan tries so hard to work on me, and when he knows he can't provoke at me directly he uses others to bring me down. Well...I have news for the adversary, and for those who do such a thing...

It's not working.

It only makes my faith grow stronger.

So always remember to be of good cheer no matter who or what kind of harm, trials, or challenges come into play, and to do no harm to others.

We also make the choice to be strong.

Blogging for a purpose with passion

My daughter and I had a very interesting talk this morning. We began talking about the blogging world, and what a wonderful thing it is when done for the right reasons.

By no means am I an expert in blogging, but for the past year and a half of being exposed to the internet I've noticed how easily we can get sucked in with the things of the world. I honestly don't have a lot of blogs I follow otherwise I would put them on my sidebar, but the ones that I do follow have really helped me on being creative, and true to myself.

The year 2012 brought many changes into my life especially in the way that I think and perceive things, and blogging has brought on a whole different meaning. Blogging has been a wonderful outlet for me as well as having a focus. Like other things in our life that have a purpose, I want my blog to have meaning and direction. Although its flattering and wonderful to read comments such as, "Oh, I wish my family was like yours", or "Your such a great mom". I want y'all to know that as a mother I work really hard in striving to live the real life of a middle class Jersey housewife with patience, love, and kindness. I appreciate those who do follow my blog leaving amazing comments, but for the most part we are like everyone else in the world with many flaws and imperfections who are striving to live our lives as if each day is our last with christianity.

We do our best to enrich the lives of our children by teaching them the true principles of Christ. We teach them by example, and sometimes when my example exhibits a strict behavior it can be good. For the most part our kids are pretty obedient, and have learned from the little mistakes they have done. Being strict does have its pros when it comes to our kids!

My daughter who started her blog last fall doesn't blog on a regular basis. When she does its on her own time, and I have not hounded her as to why she hasn't blogged lately. She's hardly on Facebook so why should I force her to blog. It's great that some of us blog to make money, but that's not what its all about. Whether its a hobby, or a job-writing is the best thing out there. All articles and posts are different and it will benefit the reader in a different way. I am grateful for the courage I have to put myself out there in the world to share my beliefs, and write about how challenging life can be when faced with adversity.

I also love writing about the little things that our children do that put a smile on my face, (and yours.) I like to share with the world my example of how we live as a family by showing our true colors. I don't ever want to be someone that wishes to live someone else's life, or embellish any post into having everyone think we live the perfect life. My mind is too busy with four children to be worrying over that. I am inspired by other people's blogs that show creativity, have meaning and a purpose.

I'm grateful for the conversation my eldest daughter and I had about blogging, and just life in general. I have advised my daughter to always be real on her blog, and to post on her own leisure. It's so true how some of us may feel the need to post every day. I'll still be blogging, but probably not on a daily basis. It'll really depend on the event, and if something were to transpire at that moment I will definitely write about it. Oh wait...that's what journals are for too! I know I blog a lot, but there is going to come a point in my life where I will focus on other aspects & will not post as much. Who knows...my better half says otherwise!

Worrying about my online presence is not as important as with who I'm surrounded with day after day. I know that if I was a professional writer and had my own column it would be different. I honestly would rather handwrite in my journal, and in my kids small journals as well as scrapbooking. I have been behind on my scrapbooking and really miss it. Since I've blogged about all the kids accomplishments & outings I don't think I'll scrapbook every photo since I'll be converting my blog into a book.

School is out, summer is here,  and am enjoying life with our kids. I will continue to keep my blog as updated as possible sharing with you the things that we go through as a family, and I hope that y'all will continue to find joy in my stories.

Please don't forget me or this little blog.

XO-me

Faith, love, and enduring a trial

I woke up this morning to something I normally don't do. I went into Sierra's room to see if she had anything to wash, and noticed she didn't change her calendar. I decided to flip it to May and as I did not only did the quote that is published on the calendar spoke to me this morning, but so did the two words that are above her calendar as well.

There is beauty in mothering, but there are also moments of unlovliness. This is a beautiful month in which three glorious occasions are about to occur, (my 20th anniversary of my membership in the LDS church, Mother's Day, and my daughter's 17th birthday), and yet I feel that dark cloud hovering over me again. Motherhood is getting the best of me. I don't like to air out any negativity on my blog, but I need to let those of you know that I'm not always the "perfect & cheerful" mother in which people might see me as. I am strict, very protective of the ones I love, and living in New Jersey has made me develop a unique tolerance in standing up for myself.

We all make a choice in our actions, and when we don't watch ourselves our actions become words. I have realized that there are other people in the world, and in my own community who have worse problems than being "carless". Not that I'm carless all the time, but it's getting to a point where I would love to have our our van fixed. We are going on our third month in not having a vehicle, and as grateful as I am for those (especially the Albrecht family) who are helping us get to church, getting my girls to their lessons, etc.,...I want my own van back.

It hasn't been easy finding a decent used engine & transmission locally or even out of state. I don't know why I thought of this before, but after calling a friend in our church who owns a body shop he found us a good used motor. It's not like we can just fork out $4,000 for a new motor and about $3,000 for a new transmission. You add labor to that amount which is about $1300 (or more.) Ridiculous huh? We were looking close to nine grand on fixing a van we are still paying on! We chose the most affordable route. Luckily my husband is pretty good with cars and he has a few friends that will help him with the labor.

I know that trials come and go. What I don't look at is what happens in the middle of the trial. Am I exercising faith in that trial, and am I showing my children more love than reprimanding them for any little thing they do throughout that trial. I'll tell you and I know this from personal experience is to watch your actions...very carefully! Kids easily pick up the things that are negative, and if it becomes habitual they will learn it, and eventually pass it on to their own family ways. I want our children to be able to handle any trial with faith, patience, and love. Instead of stress, anguish, and tears of sadness I want there to be more moments of joy, and less stress.

Having a teenager who has her plate full with all kinds of activities which requires transportation is hard. I tend to take the little things out on her as opposed to looking at the full picture and realizing that none of this is her fault! She is independent, kind, resourceful, intelligent, and very patient to have a mother like me. I love my children very much, and I feel terrible after scolding them for the dumbest things!

Living throughout this ordeal of not having a running vehicle with four kids, and a hardworking husband who is hardly home is not easy. I am learning from the things throughout this trial as opposed to sulking, and feeling sorry for myself.  I want to be able to learn, and realize that everything is on the Lord's timetable...not mine. I don't want to be selfish, or think ill of those whom I feel have no clue as to what I'm going through both mentally and emotionally. I know I should open up my scriptures more when I feel alone, and I don't. I love my family, and what makes me forget about the trials is when I lose myself in service, and focus on others who have it worse.

It's a new day, and yesterday is gone. Life isn't always perfect, but I know that there are a million ways in being a good mom, and I'm grateful that trials come because like life...I have made the choice to be strong, and endure it until the very end.

Changing that calendar this morning was sure a blessing, and an answer to my prayer.

Sharing a love, a great movie, & a pass along card

This past week was filled with sinus pressure, sickness, puke, and lots and lots of zzzzzzz's. I don't think our beds have ever been slept in so much. My husband called into work sick for the first time in eight years, and my oldest in high school missed school for the first time all year! I couldn't believe it. They were fine the day Noah got sick, and somehow those germs were passed on to them the next day! The only child that has been immune to this whole germ infestation has been Chelsea. Yesterday I was able to take her to her piano lesson to meet her new teacher, rent this great movie from Redbox, and had the energy to do a little bit of shopping afterwards. I even had the opportunity to share my faith with a fellow christian.

While I was at the checkout line at Bottom Dollar, this sweet spanish lady came up to me and asked me what my nationality was, and where I was from. I told her I was hispanic, and originally from Texas. She then introduced herself, and proceeded to tell me about her church, and eventually invited me to her church. I was excited about this moment because of the opportunity to not only speak in Spanish, but to share my faith with her as well. I have to tell you I was very impressed on her approach, and in the way she expressed herself about her feelings about the Savior. The checkout line was moving quite quickly, and as I set my stuff down on the counter I then invited her to our church, and then proceeded to tell her a little about the church I attended. Funny how we try to convert each other without any contention! There wasn't too much time to talk except that she kept mentioning how nowadays we need to turn to our life to God. I agreed with her and let her know that even though we attend different churches that we should help others, and live a Christlike life. It was time for me to pay, and so she said thank you for sharing, and for the chance she had to talk to me. I said no problem.

As I was heading to my car, I felt the urge to give her a pass along card of our church. I have some on hand in the glove compartment of our car in case of instances such as this, and boy have I had a lot of those in the past. Chelsea saw what I was grabbing and asked me what I was doing. I then told her that I was going to give that nice lady a card with Jesus picture on it, and to tell her that she is welcome to our church anytime. Luckily they were still in the parking lot unloading their groceries in their trunk, and there she was talking to another person about God. WoW!! I was impressed again! I waited for a pause in her conversation with the gentleman she was talking to, and grabbed the opportunity to wave to her while her husband took over in sharing his reborn experience. I handed her the card, and told her more about our church, and that she could call the 800# in the back of the card if she was interested in learning more about us. She obliged, and thanked me once again. My last words to her were this, "You know sister, we are all searching for that salvation and light of Christ, and no matter what church we go to, what is important is on how we live this life on this earth,  how we teach our children, and how we serve our fellow man. We are all striving for the same goal which is to live like Him, and to share with others the happiness and joy that living a life of Christ can be for us." She agreed, and said to me, "God Bless you", gave my daughter a kiss on her forehead, and we exchanged hugs.

I just love my heritage, and the passion we have to share the love of Christ!!!

Whether or not I may see this lady at our church doesn't matter. I'm sure she'll be thinking the same thing. I know that by sharing our faith with her will bring forth many blessings, and I give thanks to our Heavenly Father for the courage I had to share the love for our Savior in how He changed my life. The movie I watched that day was a perfect example of courage in doing the right thing by God. Standing for what we believe in, and how we should live our life. This woman was a loving example of Christ. She was sharing her love and faith. She was not afraid to approach me to tell me about it, and she exemplified happiness! Bottom line...SHE WAS REBORN.

I remember that day when I entered the waters of baptism, and how I felt afterwards. Happy and cleansed from all my sins. Still...I want to be the member who is always courageous, and fearless in everything that I do. To stand up for truth and righteousness, and in what I believe in. I love sharing our faith, and sometimes we don't think about confronting someone to share it. We may feel that it's not our job, and that the full time missionaries should do it. Well, I love my faith in God, and if I ever seek an opportunity to share it... I am going to do it whether it's online, or in person.

I know there will come a time in where we will all be doing that, and the time for us to begin was yesterday.

Behold your mother

I feel so blessed to have had my mother here even if it was just for a short while. While she isn't a member of the church, she respects my beliefs and we never got out of our routine as a family. We continued to have our family prayer, scripture study, and a couple of Family Home Evenings. I really thought she would participate in some of our activities, but she didn't. We tried to convince her to stay, but after figuring out her budget living in New Jersey, she felt that she wouldn't be able to make it on her own. She decided to move back to Texas where the cost of living is affordable, where there is summer all year round, and to be back in her comfort zone. Sometimes it's hard to accept change when you are set in your ways, and that is my mother. She is totally willing to do it on her own, and I know she can.

She saw the imperfectness in our family, and also saw the hard work, and effort we put to have love, and happiness in the home. That strength, and love comes from constantly reading this book, and also by living it! I think that overwhelmed her at times because her upbringing was completely different (so was mine.) I changed all of that when I became married, and vowed to continue to work on that happiness in my home no matter how challenging times get.

I am grateful for her in the way that she raised me. There is no perfect way in parenting your children. You have to let them make their choice, and just pray they're are the right ones. She knows of all the stress I caused her while growing up, and through all that grief I put her through she still loved me. There are reasons behind the choices I made as a young teen, but this week is a week of gratitude so I won't ruin it by writing a 'sob' story.

I am extremely grateful in the way she treated the kiddos. While my mom stayed in the room upstairs she had Chelsea have sleepovers for the four days she didn't have school. Chelsea was attached to her and would not leave her sight! After a while, my mom mentioned that she loves Chelsea spending time with her, but that she needs her space too. Especially while she is dressing! My mother was a good sport, and to be honest...I wish she treated me and my sister the way she treated her grand kids.

Okay...no sob story! I love my mother, and even though she was here for a short while, and left before Thanksgiving we love her unconditionally, and totally understand as to why she had to return so quickly.

I am grateful for the times she cooked for us, and spending time with the kiddos. She watched "Twilight" for the first time, and actually liked it. The girls have corrupted her, and she is now officially a Twilight fan! She also told the girls to pick their favorite 'New York' movie to watch, and they chose "Serendipity". Good choice.

They all had a nice time, and we look forward for her to visit us again. We will miss her, but know that things happen for a reason, and that it wasn't my time to take her in. She is 68, healthy and fit, and feels capable to be on her own. I commend her for that, and know that once she is totally incapable of taking care of herself...she knows that my door is always open for her.

WE LOVE YOU MOM...You are always going to be missed. The handwritten letters with the girls will continue!

On Taking a Loved one In

"We may not have it all together, but together we can have it all."

~Author Unknown

Today is my birthday week and to be honest...I've been a little bit overwhelmed. There have been too many things going on in my life since September 10. Don't get me wrong, I love my life and turning 40 this weekend is a pretty big deal. As a matter of fact it's a great big deal. The fact that my mother is coming to live with us is exciting, and I'm nervous. Nervous because I want to make my mothers living arrangements as comfortable for her as possible. I have a feeling she's not going to be too fond of the winters here, but we'll deal with that when Jersey turns into an icebox. We'll just have to buy her a coat.

The past two weeks have been pretty emotional for me. One with my stepfather passing away, hence my mother living with me, and then attending the groundbreaking ceremony for the Philadelphia temple. A sad event occurred one weekend, and was followed with a joyful one the week after. It surprises me that I still do the things I need to do in order to keep my life, and family in order.

I am trying to do my best in my calling as secretary, and I hope that my Relief Society President knows that.  I am trying to be a good neighbor in my community, and I hope that my neighbors can see that. I am trying not to neglect my friends messages, and I hope that they will understand if I don't respond right away. I am trying to be a good wife and mother, and I hope that my husband and children can understand why they have to sometimes make their own meals. I'm not lazy. It's just that sometimes my husband comes home at 9:30, and because my oldest comes home at 5:00 everyday, I haven't felt like cooking huge meals. I know that my kids are grateful for what we have to eat at home. I'm sure once my mom arrives that'll all change, and great dinners will be served. We enjoy having dinner together as a family, and that is something that is important in our home.

I consider myself a generous, kind, and loving person. My heart is filled with compassion and service. The talk given at church yesterday was on service, and how we should be prepared on giving it. Listening to Brother Bergin's talk gave me more confidence that things will be okay. I felt that my prayer was answered. I feel more prepared now in taking my mother in than I was two years ago. My step father wasn't doing well then and she had mentioned wanting to live with us. It broke my heart to tell  her I couldn't do it. I was pregnant with Noah and times were tight. She offered to pay us rent, but I didn't want to take her money. Luckily Joe pulled through then, and he gave my mother another year of his life to spend with him.

I do feel more prepared now to take my mother in than I did two years ago. I'm not going to put any of my loved ones out on the streets no matter how hard their situation is. We are family, and isn't' that what the gospel of Jesus Christ is all about? Helping and serving others without feeling the need to be compensated? Some of us give tough love...I don't. You can have tough love, but make sure it comes with tact.

I don't expect anything from my mother. I know she'll help out the kids with the necessities they need and that will be so helpful, and a huge blessing! Especially when you have three girls. They all love playing piano and only one plays the violin & piano. They all want to continue with their lessons. Sometimes my husband and I have made sacrifices in order for that to happen. I know that they will all go further in their musical talent. Luckily I have a great mother-in-law who helps pay for one of their lessons.

Overall, I feel very blessed to feel so much love for my mother, and for others. I'm grateful that compassion, and unconditional love is not my weakness. Sometimes we forget what life is all about and get too caught up with the mundane. We may not have all the fancy things this world has to offer, but what's most important is family, and that is something that I want to take with me to the eternities.

Remember Who You Are

Some people on life's journey forget who they really are, and what is really important. Without finding your identity and priority, blessings that matter most are at the mercy of things that matter.

~Elder Russell M. Nelson

A couple of months ago I sat in on a lesson in Relief Society at church and our Relief Society president gave a talk about finding our identity through Christ. I logged onto lds.org and remembered the talk in which she discussed. It was a talk given by Russell M. Nelson titled Identity, Priority, Blessings. This talk really helped me realized in choosing the things which are deemed important in this life. Sometimes we need reminders to remember who we are, why we are here, and what the purpose is in our life while living here on earth.

Yesterday, we had a leadership meeting in Broomall, PA in which Sister Julie B. Beck spoke. She is such a wonderful teacher and truly inspired me as she shared a little bit about herself as well as her spiritual experiences when it came to visiting teaching. I know that everything she taught us in how to become better visiting teachers and members of the Lord's church really strengthened me. She reminded that every one of us are sisters and children of God. I pray that all who attended the fireside on Friday and the leadership meeting on Saturday felt edified and strengthened as well.

Today was our stake conference for those of us who live on the Northeastern seaboard. My family and I were in attendance and heard talks given by Russell M. Nelson & President Henry B. Eyring. I loved both of their talks. Elder Nelson spoke on how important it is to teach our children true principles at a young age. Principles such as paying tithing, and for the youth to attend the temple to do baptisms for the dead. He encouraged us to have pictures of Christ and the temple in our home. One thing I LOVE doing is reading to my children, and mentioned to teach the scriptures to our children; and to always kneel in prayer. He mentioned that we should strive to carry a current temple recommend, and to attend the temple as often as we can. There is so much work to be done for our kindred dead in the temple.

All of these things are important in my life. I LOVE The Book of Mormon, the Holy Bible and other good books. I have to admit that there are days when I wake up and I don't do it. Especially on the days that are hectic. There are days when I am too tired to read because my husband came home late from work and talked with me until midnight. Or too tired to read because I stayed up half the night with a sick kid comforting them, and then slept in until eight a.m. (that's sleeping in for me!) Or too tired to read because I myself am not feeling well and hope that by skipping a day, I'll feel better and hope that I can find the energy to read in the evening. Sometimes that's not the case. I really want to be consistent in reading my scriptures. Everything else seems like a piece of cake.

I started a blog back in January, and I have been pretty good in keeping it up to date. I also keep a handwritten journal and I am diligent in writing in it almost every other day. It all depends on the subject or what transpires at that given moment. I LOVE serving and helping those who are in need. It doesn't matter whether or not you attend my church. I LOVE attending all my meetings at church and feeling renewed after leaving the chapel.  I appreciate the time it takes for each sister in preparing her lessons so that I can leave feeling spiritually fed. I LOVE doing my visiting teaching and trying to help sisters get strong again with the Lord. Some of these things I am strong in might be someone else's weakness.

In the Relief Society lesson, there were things mentioned that were not important and things to do that are important. One of the things mentioned on the "not to do list" was blogging, going to the movies, having lunch with a friend, and reading books. You can imagine the look on my face when she mentioned blogging! The "to do list" was of course reading your scriptures, serving others, praying daily, attending the temple, and doing visiting teaching. There is so much more that can be added to both these lists and I have to say I am guilty of doing things on both of the lists.

I love to write.
 Since I started my blog, I don't feel guilty, and I don't allow it to take over my life. I don't google everything and I certainly don't have many blogs I follow. I know there are those who spend countless hours on the web searching for the latest fashion, stores, etc. That is worldly to me, and I don't really spend too much time on that. There are pros and cons to the web, and I am careful and have control in using it.

I started a blog to connect with friends, and for my family to keep in touch so they can see what is happening in our daily life. I feel that if I am "doing" and making the time for everything on the "to do list" that it's okay to take time to do the things on the "not to do list." There are times when I have had lunch with a friend, and at the end of the lunch date, our friendship is stronger and somewhere along the way we both needed each other's company. I don't watch too many movies and I love to read. I will TRY to get my scripture study in before I begin to open a "worldly" book and start to read. There are a lot of good books out there that are uplifting, but I know that I need to prioritize my daily scripture study before reading another book, blogging and watching a DVD.

I'm older, wiser, but I'm still learning.  I feel that I have found a balance in my life in being a wife, a mother to four children, and to be able to handle the things of the world while at the same time focusing on the things that are important. I am thankful for the membership in the church I attend and for leaders in our church such as Sister Beck, President Eyring, and Elder Nelson who help me to recognize my priorities. Believe me when I say this...when you have four kids and they are all five years apart heading in different directions, I have had to learn to balance my life. It's not easy, but I know that in the end...it'll be worth it.

 Each day they grow older. Each day they learn something new. Each day I find myself as a mother feeling needed and more loved by them. I am teaching them by example and want them to know their identity and to do the things that are important. We are all children of God and that is something that I want our family to remember for the rest of our life; and to know that we can kneel down in prayer and pray to Him...especially in times of stress and trials.