A VERY PERSONAL POST ON MARRIAGE EQUALITY.

^^^ image via ^^^

It's been a little over a month since the law passed on gay marriage being equal in all 50 states, and in all honesty I don't think the reaction of happiness knowing that the law passed will go away...at least for awhile. 

Like most people I was debating on writing about the topic, especially since this will be a super personal post in regards to my experiences in the past. But the reason I felt prompted to write about it is because it really helps to talk about it, to not be afraid of my past, because if it has helped me somehow in being who I am today then gosh darn it I will share it. I also write this because I want my friends, family, and especially my children to know that no matter what we are all God's children, that life can be simple, that their mother had to learn, and know for herself, and that love is love. 

I wrote this status on Facebook the day the law marriage equality passed...

"My stance on the events of today in regards to marriage equality in all 50 states...it's simple. Love is love, love is universal, and as much as I sustain the leaders of the church I belong to which is The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints I also believe that as christians we shouldn't judge. Be happy to see that God's children are happy, and worry about your spiritual being. Accept the fact that the world is changing, and to be kind to one another. God is not religion, God is love, and we need to remember that. Peace...:-)"

Since I hardly ever share massive statuses on Facebook, and because there's only so many characters we can tweet on twitter, allow me to elaborate a little bit about this specific status. After all...that's what a blog is for right? 

For half of my life I have seen, and experienced all kinds of ugly in my corner of the world where I thought I would never escape, but knowing that I survived all that ugliness has helped me appreciate life, and most of all love. Love that comes from God, because without Him I would not be who I am today.

Because God so loved the world he sent his beloved son to die for me, and you. He has the plan of salvation specifically for us to be taught so that we can find out who we are, where we come from, and where we are headed after this mortal life. That plan has taught me that the Lord's love is unconditional period. He loves us no matter what, and even though I have gay friends, and family members we as christians should not judge or decide who is right or wrong because when that times comes Jesus Christ is going to decide. 

I'll admit this though...

because of all that I endured, and learned as a child it's a little hard to not want to take a side. There are two stories that I'd like to share with you in hopes that you will understand why it would be hard for some, and why I am sharing this with you. 

While I was growing up there was once a boy who lived not too far from my neighborhood. He would tease me a lot. Sometimes I wondered if he liked me. I learned that if a boy teases you that he likes you. Well...because of the things that were happening to me at the time with being molested I hated boys, and wanted nothing to do with them until I got into middle school. Long story short I survived my abuse, and the boy that would tease me, fast forward to 20 years is gay. Now, I'm not sure if he was gay while we were elementary age, but I know now that he is happily married now. 

And I can't even begin to tell you how happy I am for him. 

Why am I happy for him you may be wondering? 

Because it is not my place to judge, and because he is a child of God. 

I somewhat remember how this boy was, and when I saw him at a Walmart back home like 18 years ago with another guy made me realize that he might be gay. Was I judging? No, but I was wondering because of his actions.  

After finding out on Facebook about his life, and seeing how happy he was with his husband made me appreciate him, because it's not easy for those to come out and admit they're gay especially coming from a small town. Like I said...I'm not sure when he came out, and right now at this point it doesn't matter, but I was happy for him. Happy to see that he found happiness in his life. 

Second story...

I had an experience of kissing a girl in my teens. Yes...kissing. Shocked?? Please, I'm sure you've experienced some phase in your life of rebellion so don't judge. No one is perfect so remember that as you continue to read this. Yes, I have a past. I was lost, and the fact that I was molested had a huge factor as to why I experienced that. It was a phase because I only did it once. Mind you this girl had issues herself, and because we were both vulnerable at the same time the feelings we had at that moment were of loneliness, and confusion. I remember the feeling I felt afterwards, and athough at the time it felt nice, it still didn't seem right. I am grateful that I was strong, and that in the end I chose to be attracted to the opposite sex. 

Not everyone can fight those feelings though. 

There are suicides that come about when one is struggling with same sex attraction, and it is up to us as human beings to fellowship, love, and most of all not judge.

 I read this article on how there are christians in the church i belong to who are gay and active, and fight the urge to act upon those feelings of being attracted to the same sex. It also talks about an unconditional bishop who accepts those who struggle with same sex attraction.

I cannot even imagine how my life would have been had i gone the other way, or truly, truly enjoyed the feeling of kissing another girl, but that was meant to be in my plan in this life. To experience, to be tested, to learn, to abstain, and to not be attracted to the same sex. 

I'm grateful for that experience because it has taught me to love unconditionally, and to understand those in, and outside of the church who are gay. For whatever reason they are gay doesn't matter because I know there are gay people who have never endured abuse, and are happily gay. 

In the 23 years of being a member (and it was a work in progress) of this church i have continually learned to not judge. Sadly there are countless many who do. We have to remind ourselves that God is love, and no matter how much we don't agree with the sin, and have a hard time coping with those who are gay that it is not our right to give looks, be mean, and ugly. What if it was your child, or future grandchild that turns out to be gay? We never know the trials, and tests that the Lord gives us, and it is up to us to live as Him. 

I will always, always sustain the leaders of the church I belong to. I will always believe that marriage should be between a man and a woman. But i also know that the Lord will reveal his feelings, and judge his children for their choices whatever they may be as well as the lifestyle they live. Because He is perfect, and the only one who can do that! 

Still...it's not our job to judge, so please stop. 

The world is changing, and no matter what we have to embrace the change, and find a way to accept it with peace, and overall happiness. 

The world has enough hate, and we don't need to add to it. Especially for us christians of all faiths. If you call yourself a christian then please behave like one. I'm not perfect either, but boy do I have a lot of love in my heart for everyone whether they're gay, or straight.

But know, and respect this...I will not be rallying for my gay friends, and family carrying a flag walking all proud, but I do respect your lifestyle, and I'm happy that your happy! 

And I will love you till there is no end.

No end. 

SUMMER AT THE ZOO & SPLASH PARK!

If it wasn't for splash pads/parks, my neighbors pool, and zoos in the summertime with two active kids I seriously don't know what i would do with myself. I mean I know I could get my younger kids more engaged in doing crafts at home, take them to the playground every day, and although they love tennis I don't want them to feel the need to practice every single day for hours to be the next Agassi, or Venus Williams but to have a love for the sport without any obligation, but when it's like 90 degrees driving in a car without air condition while running errands all over south jersey knowing that you're on your way to a place where they have both a zoo, and a splash park really puts a huge smile on their faces, and it is 100 percent refreshing! 

Upon leaving for girls camp we decided to once again travel the short distance of not even 25 minutes to the Cohanzick zoo, and mini splash park. I figured this would be the last fun thing to do with them before i left them for four days! This was our second time coming here, and the second year the splash park has been opened. I'm surprised not too many people know about it so it's kind of nice for it to not be so crowded, because it is small.  It's only two bucks per kid, and for two hours they are splashing away getting automatic buckets of water poured over them. It's nice to walk around the zoo on a nice summer day taking in the sounds of the animals, and watching your kids enjoying the simplicity of a small zoo, and then walking across the street to the mini splash park to get wet. They love coming here, and it's so much fun. 

Here are a few photos from that day...

^^^ i didn't take too many photos of any real animals as most of them were dormant, plus I was having a nice time walking around the zoo for once without my iPhone in hand! ^^^

 ^^^ not real (thank goodness) but they love posing with these statues of the gorilla, and bear. ^^^

^^^ I love this lion water fountain. Every time I see one at a zoo it totally reminds me of the lion I grew up with at home! Don't drink the water though, it's gross. ^^^

^^^ all the jumps this girl did while we were here indicates that she is indeed having a blast! ^^^

Each day I count my blessings for living in an area where there are a variety of simple things to do that keep our kids happy. We need not spend a lot of money to keep our kids entertained. Just walking around the zoo was relaxing and fun . And like i said before, it's the simplest things that keep our children happy, and bring joy to their young life. 

TENNIS LESSONS FOR CHELSEA.

Chelsea began tennis lessons back in July, and just like her sisters, and little brother she is loving it. I was excited that she had the same coach as Noah did when he took lessons, and coach Ron continues to do what he does best. They all begin with leg exercises, and skills that will help them be fast at hitting the ball on the court. One game in particular was called "drop and dash"  where they have their hands in a T, and they have two balls in each hand. As soon as they drop one of the balls their opponent dashes to grab it without dropping it on the ground. I saw Chelsea doing this one particular skill, and I have to say she was pretty quick at catching the ball. 

Some of the days were brutally hot, but luckily the kids are only out for an hour and half with lots of water on hand. It's so nice to see kids having an interest in tennis. It truly is a sport that I have always loved since I was little. Never played it in my high school years, but grateful to be playing it now with my kids in their spare time, and that my kids are showing a firm interest in it. I only hope that my two youngest will stick to it all the way up into high school (and maybe college!). My two oldest daughters didn't take lessons when they were toddler or elementary age, but they do have a love for the sport. 

It's always a bittersweet moment when tennis lessons are over, but I'm grateful for a wonderful coach who acknowledges my daughter, and tells me that she is ready for private lessons. I told Chelsea it's either cello, or tennis because right now i can't do both. Maybe later...but not right now. I can't even begin to tell you how much we sacrifice in order for our children to play an instrument or sport they love. In the end it is worth it because on their own motive they'll either love it, or they won't. So far they all have loved every activity, and instrument we've put them in, and it's so hard to tell them we can only do one. Private lessons are doable in the summer and spring for Chelsea, and Noah. But just because we have to wait until the spring doesn't meant that they can't play in the fall with family! 

I am so grateful that we as a family have a love for tennis, and that it is something that even if our kids don't pursue it in their future that we can always play it until we are 80 years old! 

SPLISHIN & A SPLASHIN IN THE POOL!

We have lived in the comforts of Jersey for seven years now, and we still have the most awesome neighbors. Our lives may be busy to the point where we only say hi and goodbye as we exit our homes in the morning, but nonetheless we look out for each other, ask if we can borrow eggs, sugar, milk, and at one point even asked if they had like two pieces of bread on a Sunday because of our neglect to shop during the week or on a Saturday! They've even let us "borrow" their pool when it opens up in the summertime! This has been such a treat for my kids especially since the little blue pool is no longer viable. Those pools can only last for so long, but luckily they were able to enjoy playing in it for a while.  

One thing I am most grateful for is that in the seven years I have lived in this borough I have never had one altercation with anyone on my block! And even though I have shared the gospel with them numerous times in conversation as well as bearing it as a gift to them over the holidays they have not once ever disrespected my beliefs. That's good neighboring, and I'm so grateful to be a part of this neighborhood. 

Just recently we had the chance to splash away, and enjoy our time in the pool on Jon's day off. With Jon driving in the hot sun all day it's nice to have a day off where he can just relax, and lay out by the pool. Of course he's inside the pool playing with the kids, and even taught Noah how to float. I would love to get him in swimming lessons, but have to find the time, and a place that's affordable. Chelsea also learned how to float, and swim on that day!! Yes...she's 10 and just barely learned how to swim. Don't laugh because I still can't swim that well, and I'm almost 44! 

It had been a while since we've been in their pool, and boy did it feel good stepping foot inside it again...

^^^ I spy Noah, a ball, and a pretty handsome guy on a turtle float. ^^^

^^^ Meant to capture Chelsea floating in the water, and here comes papa photobombing it in the background! ^^^

^^^ Noah taking a break after he nearly slipped from the steps in the pool, but by the grace of god doggie paddled, and stood on his tippy toes until Jon grabbed him! He was the closest to him! Almost gave me a heart attack! ^^^ 

This was such a fun day for the kids, and these moments are proof on the internet that show that it's the smallest, most simplest things that keeps these kids in good spirits. Who needs an extravagant trip to Hawaii, or Cancun (although that would be nice someday) when you have your neighbors pool! 

Summer...we really don't want you go, and I really don't want my neighbors to ever move!! 

GIRLS CAMP '15-ADVENTURE IS OUT THERE.

There's something about the outdoors that brings a bond between my Heavenly Father, and myself. Being surrounded by this beautiful creation called nature uplifts my spirit in every aspect (even when there's bugs, and being covered with bug spray!)

This year was my first year ever to experience girl's camp. Although I love the outdoors I'm not much of a camper, and the fact that we stayed in a cabin was fine by me. I can't say I loved it because I'd be lying but I will say this...I loved the spirit that it brought among the young women, between my daughter and I, and between me, and God. I love the spirit that it brought among the level leaders. I saw a lot of hugs, smiles, and high fives exchanged. I saw in them a maternal part that they didn't leave behind with their own children. Sure they left their young children behind with loved ones to watch over them so that they could embark on this adventure, but what they didn't leave behind was that maternal love.  

And that's what girl's camp should be all about. Love, and spiritual growth. 

For the past four days I have witnessed amazing level leaders expressing a Christlike example of love and kindness to their young women. As a mother it is amazing to see that especially when two of them are looking after my daughter.  I've known some of these young women for a few years, and it is truly amazing to see the spiritual glow they exhibit during camp, and when they return home from camp. I love the camaraderie that girls camp brings, and the friendships that are made. I myself made new friends along the way, and it is always so nice to sit among sisters whom you can truly feel the spirit, and laugh with. 

It is so nice to see the joy and happiness on these girls faces while being surrounded by friends among nature and everything that is good, and that is something that we all need. It truly brings them closer to God, and I know that for me, being here for the first time I really felt an even closer connection to God. Especially with all the devotionals that were given. Listening to them assures me that no matter how imperfect I am, this church is true, and I'm just so grateful to be a part of it. 

What I witnessed this week was nothing but pure joy and fulfillment among these young girls...

 ^^^ ear to ear smiles due to successfully accomplishing their overnight hike in which you can view a snippet of them returning on my Instagram here. ^^^

^^^ can i just tell you how much we love this girl Josa. She's such an amazing girl with a beautiful heart, and an awesome will to be strong! ^^^

 ^^^ There was a time for the girls to have some fun! ^^^ 

^^^ And a time to serve. ^^^

Girls camp is something I wasn't raised with as a youth, and I'm just so grateful that my kids are part of such a wonderful program. I never had the opportunity to attend girls camp with Sierra, but having gone to girls camp this year with my other daughter Lexie was an unspeakable happiness because I love watching her grow spirituality.  Just knowing how she knows how much the Lord loves her, and hearing her bear her testimony and just being around others who share the same standards as her brings me a sense of relief, and gives me a greater hope that I'm doing right by the Lord in raising her the way he'd want me to. So grateful she has the gospel in her life to help guide her through those sometimes rough days in high school, and overall "life." I'm so grateful that Lexie, and all the other youth in the church attended church camp before school starts so that they can be strong, and endure all that this new school year will bring.

Because believe me...they will all need that! 

^^^ Yes...that's me in my camp get up, dark circles under my eyes due to lack of sleep, and shedding a few tears (of joy!) Don't think bright green is my color, (hence the black and white photo), but because I love myself, and my kid I'm posting this pic! Girls camp this year was truly an interesting adventure for me, and an experience I'll never forget! ^^^

"Therefore, O ye that embark in the service of God, see that ye serve him with all your heart, might, mind, and strength, that ye may stand blameless before god at the last day." 

                                                                          (D&C 4:2).

Hope y'all have a wonderful weekend! 

AUGUST & OUR SUMMER SO FAR...

Our summer so far has consisted of the simplest outings from going to the orchard, to playing chess, and venturing out to places that our closer to home. And even though I'm excited for the crisp smell of fall, sweater wearing, apple picking, wrapping my neck with scarves I'm just not ready for summer to end. I am loving the time spent with the kids especially my two youngest. I have done more recreational things with them than I have ever done with my two oldest daughters, let alone my own childhood! Times sure have changed since before Chelsea, and Noah were born, and I'm so grateful for the time I make, and energy that I have to be able to do such things! We have spent endless hours at the beach, and have lived in the playground since spring began. I don't think that'll ever end anytime soon...especially when I have such an active boy! I have never been so active before in my life (except when i was in my teens, and 20's) when it comes to sports and my second home has been on the tennis courts. Noah definitely is my "gym" and keeps me active these days with all the running around we do when it's just me and him. It certainly saves me money on those gym memberships which I just can't justify paying no matter how cheap it is! I know that when school starts I'm going to spend my mornings easing back into yoga with a side of cardio which will include walking and/or biking on the bike trail (which reminds me I need to buy new sneakers because these one's are so yesterday!) I sure do count my blessings for living near a bike trail! No matter how hot summer can be she knows that as long as I have water in hand that I can endure the heat and tolerate the outdoors with all the critters, and humidity that it brings. 

Why, because i have my favorite people with me, and because they bring out the best in me, and the good in every season. And if you have a Snapchat you can see us live snapping away on a daily basis.  

Just take a look and see...

And now...I'm off to girls camp, and driving with a few tweens! yikes!!

Happy Tuesday, and I'll blog back in a few days!