Coming Home.

Even though Sarah published this post on her blog three ago years I felt compelled to republish it on my blog in hopes that those who missed it will read it! Even though all my kids are older now, and in school full time I feel that it's still important to be at home when they come home. My full time job continues to be a "work from home" mom, and I continue to love it! 

Being The Mom Through The Joys & Sorrows.

As I get older marriage, children, and motherhood becomes a different way of life. At least it is for me. I remember how simpler, and easier life was when the kids were little. Although we had some trials they were not as huge, and they just seemed easier to handle. But as you get older, we never know what life is going to throw at us. Illness, job loss, financial challenges as well as challenges with our children, and extended family members tend to become more prevalent as they get older, and sometimes can take a toll on us. One thing I know for sure that gets me through all the mundane is the gospel of Jesus Christ, and I'm extremely grateful for that. Because with God, everything is possible, and the fact that God, and motherhood equal each other makes my life as a mother a little bit easier. Without His guidance I honestly don't think I would have been able to handle all the hardships I've endured then, and now as a person, but most of all...as a mother. Especially in today's world. 

Another thing I'm grateful for is having my kids spread out in age. They are all five years apart, and in all honesty have never dealt with any stresses. I mean, there have been some issues, but nothing that this momma can handle. Because of their age gap I have five years in between each child to "recuperate"  after the oldest one is off to college, and so forth! For this purpose, I'm pretty happy that my kids are spread apart in age. Didn't even plan it that way, but I know that Heavenly Father knew I'd need those breaks in between kids so he sent me a child every five years! Every child is completely different, and with each one I have learned something different, and it's interesting to watch them grow and see them face challenges, and learn from the. One thing I've learned as a mom is that if we let them know how special they are, and teach them proper principles they will be able to handle any challenge that comes their way. They will know right from wrong. Especially if they listen to that still small voice.  

One thing I will say when I had my first child is that I was terribly lonely. I was 23 when I had Sierra, and although I felt as if I was old, and strong enough to raise a baby, I was kind of like a wimp in many ways. I never looked upon my mother, or mother-in-law, or any other mothers for advice. My mother was 1700 miles away when I had Sierra, and well, my mother in law must have thought I was super mom because she saw what a trooper I was while giving birth to her, naturally without any drugs. Sure she'd check up on me from time to time, but with her life at that time managing teenagers, and working full time I didn't really want to bother her, and so that made me even more independent (call it pride), and never called upon anyone if I had an issue. There were times when I didn't even want to go to church because I felt as if I didn't fit the mold, and even though I never lacked for friends I never called upon any of them. Even the ones that lived near by. I know, I was a pretty stubborn mom back then. Thank goodness for all those moments of hardships because they have made me into the mother I am today!

Now that I'm older and Sierra is almost 21 (yikes!), and all the other kids are getting up there in age I feel that I have learned so much throughout the past 20 years as a mom, and to finally having my boy which was my Jersey surprise has made me an even more stronger, and fierce mom. 

And so I say this to all the moms out there. No matter how old you are we are all on different levels of motherhood. Some of our challenges when its comes to kids are easier, and some of them aren't. Life with our children is what we make it, and and even though life may seem like rainbows and butterflies right now because our kids are little, believe me when I say this...the trials will come as they get older. If you think dealing with a crying toddler at church, or in a public place is tough. Try having your daughter crying because of a boy that just broke their heart. I'd rather go back to those days than to see what challenges my kids have to face today.  They'll be different, harder, and more challenging, but if you know who you are as a mother, and remember all the things that helped you gain strength, (whether it was your mother, grandmother, aunt, teacher, etc.) lock it in, keep it with you, and pass it on down to your kids. As long as you know that you're doing the best you can as a momma, then that's all that matters. All those sacrifices that you make on a daily basis such as not showering for days, forgetting to brush your teeth because of being a hurry to run errands before the child's nap time. Letting your kid have the last apple because pay day isn't until next week will all be worth it. You'll look back longing for those moments once they become teenagers. I know I do. Then again, it's exciting to watch our children become an adult, and handle their own problems knowing that they have the Lord to guide them through it all. 

God's children are the most precious gifts that Heavenly Father gave us. They are sons, and daughters of God. But I know this, as long as we stay focused on the Lord, and continue to teach our children how to love, forgive, and pray... all those sacrifices whether big or small will pay off in the end. And it'll all work out. 

I love being a mother even when life throws us those curveballs. But without those curveballs we will never learn to pick up the pieces. Granted there are days when I just want a time out, and be alone somewhere where I can read a book without any interruptions, but that's part of being a mom, and it's something that I have learned to cope with. Children come with interruptions, and I have realized throughout the years of being a mom that my time with my children is what's most important, and in all honesty if it wasn't for me having them I wouldn't be the person I am today. They truly make me a better human being! 

Also...this mothers day video really made me tear up! 

**Happy Mother's Day everyone!**

IF IT'S MEANT TO BE.

Two months ago a dear friend of mine had her second child. You can imagine my excitement & surprise when I found out that she was having a baby (congratulations Lori!) I was so thrilled for her. I hadn't seen her since high school, but the desire to send her a gift was overwhelming. It was so fun putting it together, and I was informed last night with a sweet thank you video from her cute son that they received it. My brother in law who is also in his 40's will become a dad for the second time next week, and there are also two other friends from high school who are my age who also had babies in their 40's. I was almost 39 when I had Noah, and being pregnant at that age was pretty amazing! Sure I had my moments of exhaustion, but what pregnant woman doesn't. Aside from back pain due to how I carried him I've always had healthy pregnancies, and hearing these baby announcements, and seeing pictures of newborn babies makes me a bit jelly, but at that the same time so, so happy for them. 

And the truth is... 

I would like to have another baby. In about four months I'll be turning 44, and the desire to have a baby is still within me. I know what you're thinking (at least some of you may be). You already have four, and you're getting old why would you want more? 

Well, I wasn't close to my brother at all while growing up (we lived separately), and when I see my kids in harmony (at least 95% of the time) it brings me so much joy, and the desire to have just one more increases. It's as if I want to fill that void I had of not having grown up with my brother, and not experiencing the feeling of having a younger sibling. I would like for Noah to experience being a big brother, but then again I didn't experience being a big sister. I do, however,  have a wonderful sister whom I did grow up with. Despite the cat fights, and drama we had as sibs we are closer today now than we've ever been, and for that I am extremely grateful to have her in my life to look upon to. 

As far as my brother goes our relationship has progressed somewhat throughout the years, but the fact that we were raised separately made it kind of difficult. Living miles away from each other doesn't help either.  Nonetheless we keep in touch via text, and he just got a Facebook! He's almost 50 and is finally on Facebook! Huge step for me bro! But we are all old school, and I think my sis, and brother will always appreciate tangible cards, and photos! 

I never in my life thought I would have four kids because my childhood wasn't all rainbows and butterflies, but I did. I didn't plan them to be five years apart either it just happened that way. One of the greatest blessings was having girls first. Not one, but three! And even though they have their moments, they all love each other. One thing for sure is when their all old, and married they will all be each others best friend. Just as my sister, and I are. Looking out for each other, and having each other's back even though we are miles apart. There's is no greater feeling than having a sister, and I'm so happy that I have ONE! 

As much as Jon and I would want Noah to have a baby brother, or sister, it's just not happening. One thing I know for sure is that Heavenly Father knows what he's doing, and he truly is in charge of our life. No matter how much I beg, and plead to have another child it is His will. I don't want to bother going to any doctors, or specialists to help  me get pregnant, because I personally don't, nor should I have to do that...especially at my age. I have come to the realization that this body of mine has produced all it can in this life, and I'm at peace with that. 

I am extremely grateful that the Lord blessed us with a son, and I know that Noah will be satisfied with being the baby of the family as I am, and that is something that he and I will have in common!

Having four children has been the greatest blessing in my life, and knowing that makes me look forward to being a grandma someday...not now, but someday! 

Our family of six will be good enough for me! 

Have a happy long memorial day weekend! 

**Photo is an oldie from the year 2010 taken in Cape Cod. Noah was seven months old. 

On Bullying & A First Time Experience.

The day before Chelsea's birthday last week she had an encounter and for the first time in her life had an experience of what the meaning of the word bully would feel like. In all her years of elementary school she has never, ever been bullied, mocked, made fun of, or even pushed around. She has always been the popular girl in her class. The one everyone will come to when they need a friend. The one they will go to when they need a pencil, an extra book to read, extra filler paper, a friend to walk, run, and play with at recess. A friend to go to in times of need, and even though she's 10, when it comes to her peers, and school...she's got the mentality of a 15 year old. She tends to be a peacemaker, and someone who knows the difference between tattle telling, and telling on someone who has done something wrong. She's always the first one to laugh, and smile which she was as I posted this picture of her. I hear the same thing every year since she started pre-school at parent/teacher conference. Her teachers have all said the very same thing about her, and it's never disappointing, "we'd like to reproduce Chelsea" "whatever y'all are doing mom and dad keep on doing it" "she's a breath of fresh air" "she's so sweet, and helpful" (you get the picture.) Each year that passes I am flattered at the results of what her teachers think of her, and in how well she does in her academics. I hear nice reviews from her teachers, and how they've never had any issues with her. 

It's always so wonderful to hear all the good things about your child, but when your child finally comes to terms to tell you that because she was defending a friend of hers who was being bullied while waiting for the bus to arrive to take them home got bullied herself. It's like a knife just stabbed my heart. Apparently she raised her voice at this kid, and told him to "stop it!" That's when the boy stepped forward making a fist as if he was going to hit her. Chelsea stepped back, and got nervous. Luckily the buses arrived, and all the kids went their separate ways. What do we say to our kids when, and why things like this happen to them, or anyone? I certainly wasn't prepared because as far as I know her two older sisters had never been bullied in grade school, and even though I went through off and on periods of bullying throughout my entire 12 years of school I had repressed some of those memories, and with all the media that's out there in this generation today about bullying helped me remember, and after watching this video is when I knew I really needed to go in depth with her about the whole bullying issue. 

Because even the best of kids, no matter who they are will once in their lifetime be bullied. 

Since this incident happened right after school Chelsea didn't tell anyone (including me) until the next day which was her birthday. Funny thing is she didn't show any signs of stress in the home when she came home from school. I think the fact that it was her birthday helped her to forget about the situation, and focus on her special day. It wasn't until she returned to school that her teacher noticed she was melancholy, and not herself. That's when Chelsea opened her mouth to tell her of the incident that took place, and why she was so sad. Luckily the situation was immediately resolved by the principal which resulted with the kid apologizing to both Chelsea, and her friend. Along with a future suspension. Let's just hope this kid learned a lesson, and doesn't grow up to be an even bigger bully.  

So, what would I tell my kid in cases like this? I, for one would never tell my kid to retaliate, or seek revenge. That is just not the answer. I know how it feels to be bullied. To be scared wondering why someone is attacking you when you are doing something right. Wondering why in the first place you're being picked on knowing that you've never done anything to hurt anyone. I was bullied as a young kid. Teased because of my Jackson Five, Afro looking curly hair. I had girls who hardly even knew me wanting to beat me up, and for no reason! There was even this one girl who lived near me up until I moved away who teased me in high school. Made fun of my hair even in the freaking ninth grade! Sad because we were childhood friends, and sometimes hung out after school listening to music outside on the sidewalk chewing on chaw gum, and sucking on hot cinnamon sticks. Oh yeah...even the friends you thought were your friends can become mean! 

But I let it go as I grew up, and became a mother. 

My very first encounter being bullied was by a girl named "Evie" who was from the neighborhood (that's not her real name) I was in the fourth grade. I had gotten off the bus, and as soon as the bus drove away Evie just ran up from behind me and yanked on my hair. Yeah...she just pulled it unexpectedly. I just stood there for like two seconds wondering what the heck just happened here. She began going off on a rant, and because I was in shock couldn't recall her words. All I was thinking at this point was making it home, and I had one block to do so. Evie was a big girl so yeah...I was petrified. Luckily I saw my mom from a distance walking towards me which was very rare. She always trusted me to walk home on my own, but on this day it was as if she knew I was in trouble. Evie had a reputation of being a troublemaker, and came from a broken home. I recall trying to be nice to her at one point before this incident took place, but she always came off rude, and scary so I just stayed away. I was so relieved that my mom was there because if she wasn't who knew what Evie would have done next. The next day my mother phoned the principal, and ever since that happened she never bothered me again. I have no idea what became of Evie, and as I look back to recall some of her actions she always looked sad. 

I was about the same age as Chelsea when this happened to me for the first time, and I told her my story the day before writing this post. I told her that she did the right thing by telling her teacher. I also reminded her to always, always-no matter if she feels she's going to get in trouble to always tell me, her father, or her sisters when bad things happen to her especially when it comes to bullying, and to let us know first! Sometimes kids are too scared to tell on the ones that are bullying them, and they continue to take it until it escalates to a point where that child may not want to live anymore. It's scary to think that, but it's the truth. Chelsea is a tough cookie, and I personally feel that she's a lot tougher than me when I was her age. No one wants to see their friends being made fun of or hurt. Instead of Chelsea joining in on those who pick on others, she defends them, and tells them to "stop it!" Most of the time they'll stop, but in this case...this kid scared her, and luckily her emotions upon returning to school caused her to tell her teacher. 

Bullying has gotten worse over the years, and as parents it is so important to reach out to our kids, and talk to them about that. Whether or not they get bullied it should still be an issue in the home so that our kids can defend those who are being bullied, and most importantly to speak up so that our kids don't become bullies themselves. We are the example to our children, and if we exhibit any kind of bullying ourselves they will pick up on it. They will think that's the way things ought to be, that it's okay because mom and dad do it, and that's how life is. 

Wrong!!

It shouldn't be that way. It doesn't have to be that way. We are the adult, and it is important to act accordingly because one thing I know is that life is tough. And it can end badly for both the bully, and the one who's being bullied. 

Luckily...I endured everything I went through while being bullied, and survived all the ridicule I took throughout my childhood years.

And I pray that when our kids leave the house for the day that they will always return home unscathed. 

Let's stop the bullying. 

***This movie also opened my eyes as well with all the social networking going on today. Cyberbullying has got to be the worst!! 

Accepting the Flaws of Motherhood.

“Motherhood is a choice you make everyday, to put someone else's happiness and well-being ahead of your own, to teach the hard lessons, to do the right thing even when you're not sure what the right thing is...and to forgive yourself, over and over again, for doing everything wrong.” ~ Donna Ball

This is by far one of my favorite quotes. As I look back at my life when I first became a mom thinking how hard motherhood was going to be I couldn't fathom how it was going to be to take care of a 4 lb little baby at the age of 23 and you know something...it was pretty hard. It does get easier with each child depending on the personality, but sometimes we have to go through those rough patches, and bumpy roads to get better because let's face it...some of us usually screw it up with our firstborn, and somewhere along the mix we all have to have a wild card. Not too wild I hope, but I know that I have made a lot of mistakes as a first time mom, got a tad bit better the second time around, and with my third I feel as if I made some amazing progress. Now with my son, well...let's just say that mistakes continue to be made and there are times when I feel I know I shouldn't spoil him, but sometimes I just can't say no to that sweet face of his. But I know this... I know that I'm doing the best that I can with all of our children. 

Motherhood comes with a mixture of heartache, love, compassion forgiveness, and every Christlike attribute you can think of. When you mix that recipe together all that matters in the end is knowing you did your best. And the way you'll know is by hearing the words that come out of your children's mouth at the end of the day...such as "I love you mom." Especially when they finally received their own solid, firm testimony of the love they have for the Savior, and God. Even after all the mistakes, and hardships that they make in the end we love them with an unconditional heart bigger than our own.  

Writing this story the other day wasn't easy, and it definitely wasn't the way I wanted to start out this beautiful month of June, but sometimes I need to just let it out you know? And after hearing the lesson taught in Relief Society this past Sunday I felt the need to share it. I know there are many of us who have trials of a different realm, and some of us may feel like we don't know how to overcome them, or have anyone to talk to about them, but there is one thing you can have and that is hope. Hope that you'll be able to overcome any adversity that prevents you from being the type of person you want to be. Hope from being the kind of mother that brings such a loving and guiding spirit. We need a lot of love in this world, and some of us can't do without that. 

Praying your heart out with patience, and slowly eliminating the things that make you unhappy is a first step. Writing things down in a journal of the do's and don'ts of the pros and cons that you do and don't want in your life really helps. (hope that wasn't a confusing way to put it!) Going back every night to read what you don't want to do, and what you really want to do helps. Answers, and a change of heart may not happen overnight, but I am proof that it can happen. Each day I strive to be the best mom, daughter, sister, wife, and friend out there to everyone. 

Motherhood has flaws, and I will always have flaws because I know that I'm not perfect, but that's what makes me so unique. Motherhood will always have its imperfections, and I'm okay with it. Heavenly Father knows me, my true friends know me, and my family knows me, and that is all that matters to me. I know that everything that I had to endure throughout my life then was for a purpose,  and all the negativity that I sometimes face today is for a reason. To be strengthened, to be tested, to forgive, to love, to understand, to see if I'll turn the other cheek, to stay on that righteous path of eternal life, and to never give up on the Lord on building up my testimony. 

And being the best mom I can be. 

A Bittersweet Mother's Day.

Mother's day for some of us can be a tad bittersweet. Only because I don't have a lot of memories of them with my mother, but without turning this into a sob story, I have learned to love mother's day because of how my kids treat me. They help me clean, and give me lots of hugs, kisses, and homemade cards with gifts. The favorite part of my morning on Mother's Day is to have the opportunity to attend sacrament meeting. 

This year we had some pretty good 'Mother's Day" talks. My favorite one was by brother Brandon who mentioned how Mother's Day can be a happy day for some, and a hard time for others. To be honest with you I never really looked at it that way...until now.

When I read this story, and knowing that the parents of this sweet little boy will be celebrating mother's day without him broke my heart. The fact that I have a child close to his age brought me to tears, and I can never imagine what she's feeling right now. His talk brought back so many memories of my mother. Some good, and some sad. As I sat there listening to his words all I was thinking about were the happy moments of my childhood. I honestly don't remember celebrating mother's day as a child or young teen with my mom. Sometimes I wonder if she didn't care for that day because of the things that were happening in our house. Sitting there listening, and taking in his words about his personal life hit home. Jon, and the kids always manage to make me feel extra special on mother's day. I may not have lost a child, but I know how it feels to not have your mother there by your side to celebrate mother's day with you...especially when you're little. 

One good thing that came out of that experience is that I don't dwell on it, and focus on the strength in how far I've come in raising my family, and how they have made the past 19 years of my mother's days for me special. And that's what I pray for the parents of little Ryan. I pray that as time passes by she will have the strength to remember the happy moments that sweet Ryan shared with her for those three short years of his young life. I pray that she will feel a sign from him as each mother's day passes knowing that he is watching over her. I pray that she will be strong, and that in time her heart will heal. I pray that she will know that this mortal life is temporary, but that eternity is forever. And that one day she will be able to raise that little boy in heaven. 

*****

Motherhood is definitely hard, and as I grew up, no matter the situations that occurred in my childhood there were moments when I saw my mom care for me when I was sick, hungry, needed clothes, and longed for affection. Sometimes I feel as if I didn't get enough of the affection part, but you know what...that was okay. I am lucky that I've healed from all the heartache that was put in my path while under her care, but the most important thing for me in my life today is that I love her. I am grateful that she is my mom. For being a mom who did everything the best that she can....even in my darkest years. I would never change anything about my mom then, because everything that I endured throughout my childhood is the cause for who I am today. 

A fun, loving, happy, never giving up, strong, 'always there no matter what' kind of mother that will never leave my children's side no matter how hard life gets. My children are the greatest blessings in my life, and I'm so happy that three of them are still home for me to raise! 

I have learned not to be bitter over the things that happened to me, and to not put the blame on anyone for it. Although it took me many years to heal, and endless hours of counseling I learned that by being bitter, blaming others for the wrong turns of my life, and holding in all that anger was not the answer. I count my blessings for finding that light of happiness when I was 20 years old, and for having the gospel of Jesus Christ in my life. But most of all I am grateful to have found a husband who helped me overcome all those demons, and to teach me what unconditional love is all about. 

Seeing all the beautiful photos of my friends with their mothers, grandmothers, and children on Facebook brought a lot of smiles to my face. I think my finger is a little tender from pressing the like button too much. It is so wonderful to have read the statuses in how they appreciate their mothers through the good, and trying times. It's refreshing to read positive statuses as opposed to the bitter ones. Keep remembering your mothers folks. and always treasure the happiest moments.

"look up"...especially when it comes to life & people.

After watching this video I was very disturbed at how true the words of Gary Turk are. Even though I have this little blog & am on various social networks I strive real hard to keep in touch with life. I make an effort to call my friends, & family from afar, and actually give 100% attention to the friends that I see on a weekly basis by taking the time to see them in person. I have been blessed to have a couple of friends fly up to spend time with me from afar & that's all kinds of good! I'm so so happy to have a few good friends nearby to "hang" with, and if I haven't seen you in like five, ten, or even 20 years I promise that when we do see each other again it'll be like I never left! 

One thing I'm most grateful for when it comes to this generation with technology is that it doesn't run my life & I'm teaching our kids the same thing...especially the younger ones.

We've never owned a computer until my oldest daughter started high school, and have always had one in the house because that's all we need. I know most parents have multiple computers or laptops in the house, and feel that they have to get one per kid, but that's just ridiculous. Even if I could afford that I would in no way have more than one. I've never spoiled or encouraged my kids to get on a social network as well. 

When my oldest was 15, and asked if she could get a Facebook specifically for school, and to reconnect with old friends I said that would be okay. I signed up for Facebook way before Sierra did after I had Noah, and didn't see the harm in it. Now that she's in college she's hardly on any social network which makes me feel relieved. She'll share a few photos of her friends, blog every once in a while, tweet every few days, but she's not on it every ten minutes. Days, sometimes a week will go by without seeing a tweet, or post from her. Then again...we actually communicate with each other via FaceTime, and call each other, not text.

Lexie will be a freshman in high school this fall, and has no desire whatsoever to get a Facebook, and that makes me feel more relieved! Chelsea has only used the computer to look up research for reports for school, and doesn't even have her own phone...she's barely nine. She's never really been exposed to severe iPad use except for Noah. I have totally limited iPad use for Noah down to about oh, let's see...zero hours. Unless we are on long road trips they can watch a movie on it, and only after we've grown tired of playing the license plate game, or I spy. I do find myself from time to time giving him my iPhone to play a game while running errands, but then again...that's why we have books in the car. He is so good when I tell him it's time to give me the phone without throwing a tantrum. He's growing up way too quick, and want him to be engaged with life outside more than a piece of aluminum glass. 

I want all of my kids particularly the younger ones to get involved with recreational activities. Not technology. 

I want them to feel the sun on their face as they're running and playing on a sandy beach. I want them to slide down the slide with laughter instead of them saying "I'm tired mommy, can I play with your phone for just a little bit." I want them to know that there is a world out there where you can "look up" and see all of God's beautiful creations. Blue skies, birds, green trees, and most of all...people. I want them to live in the moment, and to "feel". To have feelings for others, and not be like a "robot" when it comes to people. I want them to forget for one minute that smart phones, or iPads even exist. And to enjoy all their surroundings when they are outdoors. 

Yes...I want this for my future posterity as well. I hope that after my kids watch this important message, and read this post that they will see how far we've come in being "antisocial" when it comes to people. It's not good, and although technology is used for many a great things I personally don't see why my kids need an electronic device to entertain them when they have their books, piano, violin, crayons, legos, trains, the playground, friends, and most of all...me (and their dad when he's not working).

Oh...and water ice as a treat for being understanding when it comes to the rules of this whole technology fiasco which makes them the best kids ever! 

"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop & look around once in a while...you could miss it." 

~taken from the movie Ferris Bueller's Day Off

yoga is a wonder.

So this month Chelsea has had a fixation on doing yoga. She has always loved it ever since I introduced it to her three years ago. But my lazy butt has long since stuck to it. As for Chelsea it has been on her mind since the day I introduced it to her.

Her routine is this...she comes home from school to have a snack, do her homework, practice her scales on the piano, and do a little bit of yoga. She borrows my mat, and I told her to go ahead and have it. It gives me an excuse to buy another one because I've had that one for so many years. I can see the look on her face when she grabs it out of the front closet as if she's accomplished a huge goal, or won a medal. So cute, and her face looked so confident. She looks so forward to doing it. Unfortunately there are days where she won't do it because well...Noah will bug, and get in her way.

Regardless...she finds a way to accomplish it, and fit it in her schedule. 

A few days before she started up her yoga I had read this post on how yoga/meditation is good for kids, and how it can relieve any stress, or worry from their little bodies. I know it's true because when I was a yoga freak I remember how great it felt after doing a workout! It totally makes sense as to how it would be the same for kids, and man...I have seen some progress in Chelsea's behavior since she's been doing it. 

She seems to be more patient, kind, not yelling at or taunting her little brother, not throwing small fits of rage because her homework, or school project isn't perfect! 

I mean seriously, yoga is the bomb!!

Plus...it is wonderful on your body. Totally stretches out your muscles, and your body feels reformed. I really need to get back into it, and I'm so grateful that Chelsea is doing it. 

Just look at her go.

I can assure you that we can all use some sort of stress reliever during the holidays. What better time to start a new years resolution than now. 

I am. 

Chelsea...she sure is my little motivator when it comes to exercise!

**You can check us out doing a little yoga together here, and with Lexie here. 

finding peace & trying to live life better.

This past weekend consisted of hearing children sing, and reciting scriptures for a full hour, ways to find joy in attending the temple as well as learning ways we can pass on the love of The Lord, and our ancestors to our posterity. Suggestions on how we can make our home a heaven on earth without being bombarded with the "things" of the world, and how to overall just have peace in finding ways to regroup.

Although I'm beginning to feel that "good things come to those who hustle" sometimes slowing down is the best medicine. 

There are good days and not so good days. Luckily in the Jorgensen household we have more good days. I enjoy my days as someone who doesn't have much of a "paying job". I absolutely love being a stay at home mom, but to be honest my life (or I should say days) have been a bit rough for me lately. Noah hasn't been wanting to go to primary class, I'm still adjusting to Jon's new job, my calling, and having these two teasing each other every single day gets old. 

Why can't we all just get along!!

It's too much happening all at once, but I know that I can handle it. These two kids give the perfect definition of having a love/hate relationship. I am praying my heart out that it'll pass, and that when they are five, and ten years of age their relationship will blossom like their older sisters, & I will not give up on them!

Since Lexie has been staying after school for various activities it has given me the opportunity to have these two have some "outdoor time" together again.

This is my favorite time of year to spend outside, and take in every moment to see how beautiful life is. To really appreciate all that i have been given even when it's not enough. To always be grateful for opportunities when we can sit still, and not feel rushed to do the things that we feel have to get done. 

Because if you look at the big picture...the stress that we felt after packing so much in on a weekly basis is not a good feeling. 

My anecdote when I feel I have survived overtime hours of motherhood is seeing these two get along, because they usually don't...at least in our home. Every day they wake up teasing each other, and when she comes home from school it continues. 

And...

My struggle right now has been yelling, and I tend to yell really loud. Believe me...you don't want to hear me yell because us mexicans can yell really loud!

There are days when these two are literally pulling hair, and kicking each other (at least Noah does.) Although Chelsea has control on not to fight back, she'll still add in a little kick, and a side of an "I'm going to get you" look. I know...shocking huh. She's a sweet kid, but when it comes to her baby brother she has learned to defend herself. He's an almost four year old with a good amount of strength, and one who will certainly let you know to back off if you're bugging him. I know they are young, and again praying that it's a phase, and that this too shall pass. 

As I was hearing the words of the teacher this past Sunday about finding "peace at home" it clicked. I mean really clicked. I am seriously going to strive and thrive on finding that "unique" peace. I want to find that "unique" peace that I once had before all my kids got old! I want to find that "unique" peace where yelling was not a part of my life. I want my life to be filled with the spirit, and for my home to be a heaven on earth filled with peace, pure happiness, and love.

I know that it's up to me to me as a mother, and my responsibility to rear our children (especially these two) into being the best they can be. I am the only mother they have. They truly are good kids, and i love them both so very much! 

So here's to a life where from here on out my goal is to not yell when these two get out of hand, find peace within these two monkeys, and to simply live a happy and normal life. 

**Prayers are welcomed, and a Happy Monday to you!

blessings of a daughter.

Sometimes I wonder how life would be like if I didn't have another teenager left in the house to help me out both physically, and mentally. 

With Sierra off at college it has been a tremendous blessing to have Lexie by my side not only to help me clean the house, and watch the kids while i go out and run errands...but to talk to. 

She is there for us when me and her pa are in desperate need of a date night because seriously...don't we need those to keep our marriage strong, and young (wink, wink.) If you read this post you'll be happy for me that I have her.

Lexie is as awesome as they come. In many ways she is a lot like her sister, yet they are so different. They are five years apart, but if you talked to her you'd think you were talking to a 20 year old. She is older than her years, and very mature. There are days when I forget how old she is, and I will talk to her about something that is R-rated, but then I think about it and I'm like...she's mature enough to understand what I just said. 

And you know something else, she gives the greatest advice...just like Sierra used to (and still does.) 

There are reasons why many of her elementary teachers had her sit in front of the classroom right near their desk. Not because she was a troublemaker, but because Lexie was their "comforter", or "solace" what have you. There were so many kids in the class, paritcularly her fifth grade class that would misbehave with such disrespect, that all Ms. Bottcher had to do was take one look at Lexie, sigh and say, "I can do this because of this one child. I can still teach because of this one child. I will finish out the next year because of this one child." It sounded like her mantra for the year Lexie was there, and I couldn't help but to laugh a little when she told me this during a parent/teacher conference. 

I thanked her for looking at her with such praise, and for all the wonderful compliments she said about Lexie. I concluded to tell her that her sentiments for Lexie was the same way for me not only at my house, but in my life as well.  

When chaos erupts in the home between my two younger children, or in the world I not only look at Lexie, but all of my kids, and I am pretty relieved. Relieved at the fact that they don't carry many burdens in their life (yet), and that they are not bullies. They love, forgive, and befriend everyone they meet. I thank Heavenly Father for bringing them down to me, and for the strength that I have to continue to raise them with true principles. 

As a parent one can give up on their kid once they reach their teens, or head off to college. You'd think because of my past, and the things I endured as a kid that I'd be raising some messed up kids. 

Not me. 

I call Sierra at least four times a week and send her sweet texts on a daily basis. Not because I don't trust her, but because I love her. 

Everyday before Lexie and Chelsea leave for school I give them a kiss and a bear hug, and if I get a chance I'll sneak in a note inside their lunch bag. With the way the world is today we all need someone in our life to give us comfort, and our kids need to hear that in return. I believe that's what makes my kids develop such sweet, yet strong personalities. 

Sure I have my husband, God, my sister, mother, this little blog, and my journal to "vent" to, but sometimes you need your daughters. 

I need my daughters, & I have learned a lot from them!

And I'm so grateful that I have three of them. They are indeed the greatest friends anyone could ever have, and some of the greatest people on earth. I personally have never met any other kid that could possible carry my daughters attributes. I count my blessings that I have them life, and two of them who are mature enough to.

Lexie is my stress reliever, and my book critic when it comes to reading. If any of you want to know about young adult fiction this is the "go to girl." She can read any book for you within 24 hours and give you a thumbs up or down. She'll even give you the latest books that are coming out. 

I am so thankful for our children. They are all wonderful, and each carry their own uniqueness, & talents. They are just awesome! 

"Happy for those whose child brings so much joy, and energy into their life."

That's me.

sacrifice.

Looking at this picture I see a mother who has come a long way in understanding what it means to sacrifice. Now, the boy in the picture..he's the icing on the cake. It sure is amazing how you start off as a young girl thinking of yourself, and not quite understanding what the word "sacrifice" really entails. Especially when it comes to our children.

Then your married expecting your first child at the age of 23, and as soon as you have kid number one you question the word sacrifice. 

When kid number two joins the world, you recognize the sacrifices, and slowly you begin to understand what the word really means, and with kid number three you don't question the word...you just sacrifice. 

After three kids I hope that I have mastered the term sacrifice because if I haven't then clearly there is something wrong with me. It is then when we need to seriously start maturing and recognizing what it means to sacrifice, and work on it. 

Well, I think I have pretty much mastered it, and feel as if both Jon & I have sacrificed a whole lot for our children (still do)...especially since our son was born. 

Noah has been a huge blessing in our lives while living in Jersey, and because of him I have been able to withstand any spout of depression, drama or trial that has occurred in my life within the past three years. 

He has helped me learn. 
He has helped me grow. 
He has helped me develop patience. 
He has helped me feel a deeper love for others than ever before. 

Sometimes I feel as if our children make sacrifices for us only to help us. Not necessarily with the things of the world, but with the things that they give up in order for us to stay sane as parents. 

Things such as no sleepovers, playdates during the school week, going out with friends over the weekend, asking if it's okay to have the last of the cereal because they want to make sure we have eaten some. 

My oldest daughter will be graduating this year, and I am both nervous & excited for her. Nervous because I want to make sure she's taken care of while in college. I know that the college she has chosen will have most of the tuition covered. Still, I want to make sure that she'll get plenty enough to eat, and be able to get the necessities that she'll need while in college. I do have faith that she'll be in good hands, because she has a good head on her shoulders. She has learned a lot from my example as well as the stories I have shared with her in regards to my upbringing, and college life when it came to surviving.

One quality about her that I love is the fact that she is pretty good at saving money. We as parents are very proud at the way we have taught her when it comes to money. Although she loves to shop she's not a big spender. One good thing she learned from me is that she is a thrift shopper. Although we love clothes, we know how to shop. There are moments where I feel I can retake lessons from her. 

When I was growing up I remember how hard my mom worked and how much she would sacrifice to make ends meet. I remember wearing the same clothes year after year, and when your little it doesn't matter. Even when I was in high school I wasn't wearing all the designer clothes my friends were wearing. Sometimes I would even be a little jealous because my friend had the first pair of Guess jeans, and Liz Claiborne purse. As I look back I think to myself,  how could I have been jealous of those worldly things? Oh yeah...I was in high school.

Nonetheless I survived high school with the clothes I had (and with the clothes that I would seldom borrow from close friends) Today I continue to teach my girls that looks are not important, and what matters is what's inside your heart. I found the LDS church while in my college years, and I learned that real quick. It didn't matter what I wore as long as I looked clean in hygiene, and that my heart was in the right place with The Lord, and myself. 

It's amazing to see the change in your children as they grow up. I see it in all my kids. Especially Sierra, and Alexandra. They know when I'm sacrificing for them. Sometimes they'll even scold me, and say, "mom, I don't need it right now...you need to get yourself some new running shoes, or a new coat first." Not that I run a lot (or at all), but I've had the same shoes for a couple of years and that's okay. As far as a winter coat...I can't let go of my nine year old black Banana Republic peacoat just yet. 

When I'm feeling down, and their dad is working his tail off so that he can provide for us instead of venting to them about my hoopla I want to listen to their sorrows, or any issues they may have before my own. 

That's what mothers do. We sacrifice for our children, and for those we love. I saw how my mother sacrificed for us, and I learned what sacrifice is by doing it. I have no guilt, no regrets of putting my families needs before my own. I know that I should splurge a little on myself, but right now I'm thinking of my college girl, and the needs of the rest of our children. They are what matter now, and always.

Maybe our turn will come when our kids are grown & married with children, but even then I think we will always be sacrificing for our children no matter how old they are especially when it comes to our future posterity.

I don't think sacrificing for those I love will ever stop! It's embedded in my heart.