Unconditional Love with a Memory

Circa,  Salt Lake City-2005

Family has been on my mind a lot lately because of the fact that I have my mother and sister 1769 miles away living in Texas. Besides my husband's family, I feel that they are all that I have on my side of the family, which brings me to the point of this post.

I grew up without a father. I don't remember him very much, because I was five years old when he abandoned me, my sister, and my mother. All I remember are small details about him...and that I am a spitting image of him. There is only one memory that I have of him, and that is when my mom came home with him from picking him up at the bus station. He came to the couch I was sleeping on {I had no bed of my own} and he told me that he was going to sleep on the floor next to me with my mom. He then said to me, "...if you hear snoring {makes snoring noises} that's me. I remember laughing a bit when he said that. That's all. The only memory. The next morning he left without saying goodbye to me, my sister, and my mother.

I love my mom and know that she did her best in raising us by herself before my step-father came into the picture. I might have had some resentment because all my friends had both their mother and father. At times I'd even show my anger and give my mom mean looks. Not once did I ever call her any bad names. I might have thought them, but I never verbally said them. I love my sister and she is my best friend. We have been through a lot together. She is my only sister and I always let her know that I'm there for her.

Circa, Salt Lake City-1996

I can never imagine any of our children disrespecting anyone. Especially me or their father. That's not how we're raising them. We teach them to forgive, serve, fellowship and love others unconditionally.

Unfortunately, there are kids in the world today that don't or didn't receive the nurturing, laughter, family bonding time, or communication growing up. Instead, they are growing up or grew up with contention, anger, cursing, and guardians that literally fought and exchanged words of hate. Those kinds of examples are not a healthy environment for any child, whether they are two or twenty. Children of divorce and abandonment have it worse. The result usually ending in being a mirror image of the people that raised them.

Even though my father left us, I made the choice to not let that affect me. Sure, I had issues and was a rebellious teenager and did things I wasn't proud of, but I changed. My conversion in choosing to live a Christ like life saved me. I strive each day to be like Him.

I have a family of my own now and I treasure them; I don't take them for granted. That's why I chose to stay at home and raise them. I stopped working when Alexandra was born.  The thought of being in an office right now doesn't seem like the time. I'm there for every piano/violin recital, drama production, parent/teacher conference, field trip, etc. I'm involved with my church and in my community. I believe that in being a stay at home mom has made me a better person. My kids pretty much lead a happy and normal life. We are not the Brady Bunch, but we make each day count as if it were our last.

I have no clue where my father is, but I don't talk bad about him. I try to keep that one memory of him locked in my mind. I carry no ill will towards him.

If he happened to knock on my door today, I just might let him in.

That is the example I am showing to my children...to have unconditional love towards others & to their grandfather they may never meet.

"The family is a haven in a heartless world"-Christopher Lasch