Friday, September 28, 2018

Believe Women. Believe Survivors.

One thing I love about my mornings are when I take my husband to the train station. It gives us time to talk about current events, and this past Monday on my 47th birthday I was listening to NPR. and heard all about the news about Dr. Christine Ford's assault, and I believe her. I believe her because it happened to me.
I've been listening to the hearings, and I honestly believer her. Kavenaugh seems so angry, and frustrated while on the stand, and that is a scary thing for someone who is in government. I don't get into political debates because I don't like contention, but in a way I feel sorry for both parties. Call it a forgiving heart, because regardless of what happened to me it didn't royally screw me up to much. 

Well, not really. 

I was 21 and working at a gentlemen's club. Yes, shocker huh? I had been going out with a guy that I only knew for a week. 

One week. 

I know...dumb. 

I was young, and naive, and desperate, and wanting to be adored. 

He was charming, and because we had a week of wining and dining, going golfing, taking me shopping led me to believe he was the sweetest guy, and I trusted him. I trusted him because his best friend was dating my girlfriend. I trusted him to watch over me as I worked that night. It was my first and last night working there. What are the odds of getting assaulted on the first day of your job! As I look back I count my blessings that I only worked that job for one night.  


Sure I had issues even after it happened to me, and I didn't tell anybody except my sister who nearly broke her fist by punching the wall when she saw me come home battered, and bruised with bloodshot eyes. If that assault didn't happen to me. Had I not been sexually abused when I was 10, I wouldn't be who I am today. 

And those men did not break me.

For a long time I always thought that my actions that entire week led to my assault. That I deserved it because I was too flirty. Having worked at a gentlemen's club is not something I'm proud of, but at the time thought it was necessary for me to do so because of lack of money. Still, it doesn't matter who you are, how you were raised, or where one works because it can happen to anyone.

Now is the time to believe all those who have been through an assault. Whether it happened recently, five years ago, or 30 years ago there is no statute of limitations to go after the one who hurt us. 

Unfortunately nothing was resolved with my case. There's more to my story, but will write more detail about it later in a different, more elaborate post. I worked at a gentlemen's club, and even though I wasn't drunk there was alcohol, and the fact that I was "half naked working at a gentlemen's club" didn't go very well for me. 

I repressed memories from my sexual abuse as well as my assault for years, and never wanted to talk about it. 

Why do we repress memories, and forget. Because of the trauma we endured. Only those who have been through such a horrific experience will truly understand. 

I finally went to a therapist, and although it took me a loooong time to heal, I did. The memories, of the assault, and those five years of being sexually abused will always be in the back of my mind, but I am a survivor, and I lived. 

I lived.

And I know I'll be okay.

Believe Women. Believe Survivors. Believe Her.

This is such a powerful message and so necessary. Women such as myself have been living their lives without the confidence of just being believed. 

Now is the time to change things. 




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