Gift-Love

The Four Loves is a book written by C.S. Lewis, whom by the way is one of my favorite authors. In this book, I came across this quote which best describes this post: 

"The maternal instinct...is a Gift-love, but one that needs to give; therefore needs to be needed. But the proper aim of giving is to put the recipient in a state where he no longer needs our gift. We feed children in order that they may soon be able to feed themselves; we teach them in order that they may soon not need our teaching. Thus a heavy task is laid upon this Gift-Love. It must work towards its own abdication. We must aim at making ourselves superfluous. The hour when we can say "They need me no longer"should be our reward. But the instinct, simply in its own nature, has no power to fulfill this law. The instinct desires the good of its object as such, from whatever source that good comes--must step in and help or tame the instinct before it can make the abdication."

In three days, Noah will be 15 months old. In three months, he will be in the nursery at our church. I don't want to believe it. I'm in denial. I want him to stay little just a while longer...but it's inevitable. He has to grow up, he has to learn how to speak, feed himself, go potty on his own, go to preschool, play soccer, and the list goes on. I take advantage of his diminutive life. He is my only son and possibly my last child (tear). He doesn't drive me insane. He is the sweetest, most agreeable child you could ever meet. If anything, he calms my heart. I am more aware of his needs and notice all his quirks and gestures. I pay attention to every detail of his young life. I give him lots of love. They say boys are different from girls and I have to say he is the complete opposite of his sisters.

 Complete opposite meaning doing things like this...

He is definitely a climber!

I don't even get mad at him when he gets all the tupperware lids out of the drawer and puts them back in his toy bin or laundry basket (at least he's putting them away!) 

 I remember I wasn't as "soft" with my firstborn as I wanted to be. I was a meticulous mom (still am) and seemed to get upset over the smallest things such as spilt milk on the table or getting her outfit dirty the first time she wore it. I became softer as each child was born. I realized that each child is different and that with age comes maturity & patience (for me and the child).  I'm not a perfect mother, but I know that for the past 15 years, I have learned a lot and that has made me a better mom. 

So if Noah puts a tupperware lid in the hamper or he spills milk on the table (which in this case it dripped on to the chair then on the floor),

I now know that lids can be washed and spills can be wiped cleaned...but his childhood can never be replaced. His willingness to be independent and strong will give me confidence that he will grow up to be a fine young man; and that is a "Gift-Love" I am willing to accept.