seek, ponder, & pray.

All day long I had been sitting at home trying to figure out some temporal things that have been on my mind lately. Now that Sierra has chosen her school, and all the deposits for tuition and housing are paid for I am pretty much relieved.

Yet, I felt as if something is still missing. I asked myself am I praying enough, am I reading God's word enough, am I serving enough? Why do I still feel out of sorts? And then the thought came to me about the temple. It's been a month since I haven't gone, and boy am I going through withdrawal. Since I don't have a temple nearby that I can drive to within five minutes like I used to it's really nice to live in a neighborhood where pretty much everyone works, and the street is pretty quiet hence being a perfect time to concentrate about 'life'. 

With Noah's allergies acting up he began to fall asleep, & instead of doing laundry, blogging, or reading I decided to take advantage of the glorious weather. I figured this was my opportunity to connect with the divine through prayer, and just relax by being outside.

I decided to grab a blanket, took Noah with me, and we both laid on it with the sun shining down on us. As I was laying down trying not to cry too much in front of my boy I couldn't help, but to think about my family's future, Sierra's graduation, the possibility of a job change for Jon, and all the things that were written in this talk that I'm going to teach about this Sunday.

I read it again while laying outside, and again so that I can be well prepared for my lesson this Sunday. There are a few things that connected with me in relating to this talk that brought back memories of my childhood. It was also a reminder to me to make the right choices in this life every single day.

This is the closest I felt to God today. An afternoon of laying out in the sun in my little backyard while Noah was sleeping. What I felt on this day was amazing. The feelings, and thoughts that came into my head as I focused on the things that are paramount. I may not have been at the temple or in a sacrament meeting at church, but I sure did feel God's love for me today. I never want to lose sight of recognizing those feelings. I love Him too much to let go, and give up on the things that are eternally important.

This is a blessing of motherhood, and instead of taking Noah to the park, and running afternoon errands, I am so grateful that all I did today was focus on receiving some inspiration from above. I wish I could have these moments everyday (minus the allergies...poor Noah). The difference is that I was seeking it, and instead of me waiting to receive guidance from Him...I came to Him first.

And that was a great feeling!