In the Beginning.

Salt Lake City, Utah-circa, Spring 1994

After reading this story and watching this heartfelt film I was inspired to share a little bit of my story in the hardships that I have faced when it comes to finances. I think everyone has been there at one point or another and if you haven't then God Bless You! Growing up in a low income family was tough. I can probably write an entire chapter about how life as a child was for me with not learning the value of a dollar, or what the purpose was behind those allowances. Maybe that's why at the age of seven I saved like 36 dollars and hoarded it inside my little red Hello Kitty wallet like there was no tomorrow. I wasn't sure if I should spend it or save it. I thank my mom for giving me chores at a young age which resulted in rewarding me with a couple of dollars a week, and teaching me responsibility in keeping a house in order, but she missed something. She missed teaching me how money is used. She missed how it is there to save for a rainy day. She missed telling me that it's okay to not have what others had. She missed telling me that no matter what, we are "rich" because we have each other. She missed a lot of things, and because she did I feel as if I didn't understand the concept of money especially when I got married. 

My mother struggled herself as it was for the first nine years of my life until my stepfather came into the picture so having him around did help support us for a while...until he himself became ill. I firmly believe that when we are not taught the value of a dollar based on the principle that goes behind the meaning of "money" can lead us into a path of destruction that can teach us valuable lessons. Lessons that we regret later on in life in which we don't want to get ourselves mixed up in or want our children to learn.  

This was my lesson.

I had my first "real" job at the age of 16, and still didn't grasp on the true principle of saving money. I never stuck to one job, and at that point in my life I was a hot mess. To tell you the truth I honestly don't remember what I did with my money after getting my paychecks. I know I shopped a bit buying things here and there, but I know I never saved any of it. I lived with my sister for a short while in Florida after high school when I was 18, and that only lasted for a summer.  I got a job in Pensacola at the mall, but still didn't grow from anything. Things weren't working out for me and knew I had to go back to Texas. I knew I had to get my act together, and go to college. Funny how the Lord works, and how He puts us on unexpected paths in which we'd never thought we'd lean toward. He had a plan for me, but even though it was a great one...I still had a lot to learn. Boy did I have a lot to learn. And the trials that were to come ahead of me were huge. At least for me. 

One of the greatest things that happened to me was converting to this wonderful church which helped me emotionally and spiritually. I met my husband in Texas where he was serving his mission (no funny business occurred.) When I moved to Utah he was working as a manager at a locally owned restaurant called Sam's Express, and I was doing a little bit of modeling for McCarty Agency. Not a lot of pay, but it was fun. After a while we began to date, and eventually got married. Our wedding was so simple. I rented my brocade 80's looking dress for 200, bought my brocade shoes for 35 bucks, my mother in law made my veil, and my dear friend Stacie did my bouquet, and flowers. Food was cheap and my mother made chicken croissant sandwiches with pasta on the side. Eclairs, creme puffs, and fruit were the dessert, and we had about 80 people show up to extend their regards in a small LDS chapel in Sandy, Utah. It was simple, sweet, and our entire wedding cost under a grand. 

One great thing I remember about Jon when I first met him was that he was so good at saving money.  I felt secure because he had a job that was good enough for us to afford our tiny studio apartment on South Temple in downtown Salt Lake, but we were about to have a baby...unexpectedly. I was pregnant. It was hard because I actually enjoyed working. I quit modeling, and actually enjoyed sitting in an office typing my fingers away making some decent money. We were lucky we didn't have any student loans because A) I got a grant which I didn't have to pay back for the two years I went to college, and B) Jon had no loans due to attending no college. We figured we'd be able to make ends meet, and that I'd be able to work until Sierra was born, but that didn't happen. I ended up having toxemia which resulted in being on bed rest for the last six weeks of my pregnancy, hence causing Sierra to be born a few weeks early. We were lucky that a program called "Baby Your Baby" saved us that prevented us from paying any hospital and medical bills. She was a free baby! We were on medicaid for a while until Jon began working for Rent A Center. We then had excellent insurance, and I went back to work thinking things are going to be peachy king. They were for a few years until we got caught up in a web of credit card debt. I'm no math major so I didn't understand what interest was or how it worked. Heck, I didn't even know how to write a check until I got married! The downward spiral began and we got ourselves into this hot financial mess, and it was so hard to get out of it. Moving back and forth from Utah to Texas off and on for ten years didn't help our stability either in trying to establish ourselves in owning a home. We then got caught in a vicious cycle of getting those payday loan advances which caused us to get even more behind. We were so desperate in making ends meet the first eight years of our marriage it wasn't even funny. We realized that we needed a solution, and that somehow we had to get out of it. 

Man did we struggle. From pawning stuff to selling my clothes at consignment shops. Luckily I've always been a thrift shopper otherwise things could have been a lot worse! I reflect back on my life, and sometimes wonder how I made it this far with the same husband! We had patience with each other, and faith in God. Some years have been great, and some not so great. This struggle was real, and I know that they won't end. We will always have some kind of trial in our life, and this was mine in the beginning of our marriage. Financial hardships can cause a strain on marriages, and when we don't learn it when we're young it can easily be passed down to our posterity, and become a learned behavior. We don't ever want that to reflect on our children, and have been teaching them the value of a dollar, and the pro's and con's of credit cards. How they should only get one to establish credit and not max it out in a week! We are teaching them true principles on how to save their money. They have gotten in the habit in paying their tithing first when they earn a reward or allowance. We've taught them to secure their future by doing well in school, and attending a good college. We've taught them to serve, and help others. We've taught  them that material things don't make the world go round, and just because other kids are trendy that they don't have to follow. 

I'm grateful for all the times our families helped in times when we really needed it. We've accepted for our arms to be wide open when they offer a helping hand. I hope to be able to return that comfort and favor when they're in need. I'm also grateful to the church who has helped us in many ways when times got extra tough. None of us want to get in a financial bind, but sometimes that burden can become so heavy on your shoulders that you just need to swallow your pride and ask for help. 

In the past six years of living in New Jersey I have to say that the past 10 months was the hardest. Even though we paid way ahead on our rent & utilities when Jon lost his job, it was still tough for him to find a job where he can support all of us. These days even with a degree you're either overqualified which in Jon's case was neither qualified because of no college history. Luckily his experience with working with people and only having four jobs in 30 years has helped employers see that he stays with a job for a long period of time. I count my blessings that Sierra's first semester in college was "free" and that we've had some help along the way. For the most part we have been blessed by the Lord in having Jon landing such a great job in which he will begin next month.  He has always been a hard worker, and no matter what always held onto his jobs whether he liked them or not. 

I'm so lucky to have married a man who stuck by me through all the hardships we've endured, and this one was pretty big. What is it with money anyway? We were young, dumb, and have truly learned so many lessons from all our past mistakes. Our faith was, and will always be strong no matter what challenges come our way. 

I don't ever want any of my children or any one that I care about go through the financial hardships we went through at such a young age, hence this film. It truly brought back memories, and watching it was a reminder for me to never go on that path again. To continue to teach my children the value of a dollar so that they will never get themselves into a financial bind, and to pass this message on to their future posterity.