Tender Moments...

Two days have past since Lexie flew back to Utah and we already miss her something fierce. I know that time will pass and that we will see her again during the holidays but when you're getting up there in age and have two kids left at school-you just want to relish all the time with your kids and honestly at times don't want them to leave. These tender moments in pictures of Lexie saying bye to us are priceless. I am so grateful for the time she took to come home and visit and spend three weeks with us. We had such a great time and wish she could have stayed longer but school for her starts at the end of this month plus we need to wind down and get the rest of the kids prepared for another school year come September. So glad school starts after Labor Day here in the east so we can have more time for one last little hurrah of summer. 

The "Hogwarts" Of NYC - The College Of New York.

While I was in high school I did not look into colleges. I wasn't encouraged nor did I have the means to look at any. No car. No support. Emotionally that is. I didn't graduate high school which is one of the major reasons why I never bothered. My mother dropped out of high school at a very young age and although she tried to complete nursing school in her 40's never succeeded. I suppose that's okay because we all have different paths and shouldn't put the blame on our parents as to why we didn't graduate college. Heck, I don't even know if my father is still alive. I was six when he left us so...there. No need to get into great detail about him because I don't know a lot about him. So going to colleges (even though it scares the heck out of Chelsea) is something that's important to me. And I hope that she will realize how important it is for her to check them out. 

just some words of advice.

"Take risks. Big risks. Smart risks. I’m not talking about drunk driving or running naked in the snow, I’m talking about going out on a limb to achieve your goals. I’m talking about venturing into unknown territory with no safety net, no fallback plan, no cushion, and nobody holding your hand. You’ll never do anything important if you care more about having fun and being comfortable. Period. It won’t happen. There’s time for fun and comfort, but not now. Not when we’re young and have so much to do. I don’t say this because I’m some huge success story; I say it because I’m not. Not yet, anyway. I say it because I’m in the thick of it, too. I say it because my heart breaks every time I meet a person younger than me who has no ambition. So often I speak to someone like this, they tell me what they want to do in life, I tell them, “well, go do it then,” and they come back with the “yeah, but..”

Stop it.

No buts. Nobody cares about your excuses. Move across the country if you have to. Live out of your car if it’s necessary. Work six jobs if that’s what it takes. Eat one meal a day if it comes to that. Do what needs to be done. STOP FOLLOWING THE PATH THAT OTHER PEOPLE HAVE LAID FOR YOU. Blaze your own trail. Make a sacrifice. Struggle. Sweat. Fail. Suffer. Do it now. Now’s the time. Especially if you aren’t even married and you don’t have kids. Why in the world are you sitting around? What are you waiting for? There’s absolutely nothing stopping you from chasing big things. Nothing."

~Matt Walsh

These are the words from a man who is about ten years younger than me whom I have admired for the past six months. Reading his blog has given me a lot of insight to many issues. Sometimes we can learn a few valuable things from the younger generation, and I have to admit that Matt Walsh is one of them. 

So heed the words of his advice. 

And these are mine...

You are so young, and have so much to look forward to. There are so many things that I missed out on as a youth. Things that you have, that i was unfortunate to learn, & grow up with. A talent with music that you have been blessed with like no other. (Gosh I wish I learned how to play the piano.) Even though you won't be homeless I want you to be independent and learn to do things on your own. Even though you've already lived in familiar territory I want you to act "as if" you've never been out west before. I'm not a well known blogger, but i feel that everything I have written thus far on my little blog are honest, and true. Things that have been repressed in my mind for many years that I was willing to share with the world (or whoever reads this)...but most of all you. 

The past 18 and half years of raising you has been fairly easy. We've had our ups and downs, but please know that those downers we had were moments of motherhood. I treated you in strictness because I love you. It's that simple. I was a mother first, and your friend second. Love. Go out and conquer the world. Make new friends. Find the old ones you left behind years ago. Learn how to ski. Spend a lot of time with grandma and grandpa. Enjoy your youth, and the time spent with your relatives. Life is too short. I don't ever want you to leave with an uneasiness or unhappy feeling like I did with my mom when I first moved across the country. I want you to carry that happiness wherever you go. I want to be able to know that your intentions are true, and that this decision is the best for you. 

Let your burdens be light by living your values, keeping your morals high, and lose yourself with God, and his gospel. When times get tough, and i mean really tough...lose yourself in service. Help your neighbors, & babysit. Sometimes when you're around small children they tend to get your mind off the hard things. Don't ever lose sight of what's important. Keep in touch with your sisters, and little Noah. For they will grow up way too quick, and perhaps be taller than you! 

Love, love, love. Fellowship. Fellowship. Fellowship. Be fearless, and bold in a loving manner. Always be tactful. Be the one who stands out as you walk into church, and school. Hold your head up high with humbleness ready to serve, love, and make more friends. 

I have faith in you. You're going to do great. God Bless you, and good luck in all that you do. Especially with school, and in growing up to be one of the most successful people i know you can be. 

xo, 
mom

UARTS Holiday Concert.

While I was sitting down inside an Episcopalian church waiting to hear my daughter sing with the UARTS choir I was contemplating and having somewhat of a flashback. Not because I was Episcopalian, but because this church I was sitting in reminded me of the catholic church I used to attend when I was a child. The smell of an old pew with red velour colored padding, and a cushion underneath my feet so that one can kneel in prayer seemed all too familiar to me. The feeling of sitting inside this nostalgic, beautiful, "elaborate in detail" building felt different, but knowing that I was sitting in a house of worship for the sole purpose of hearing my daughter sing was good enough for me...and it was gratifying. 

^^ Sierra & Liv, chorus girls ^^

This was my daughters first and final performance she will do with the university chorus. Her freshman year at UARTS didn't really give her too much opportunity to perform & "shine", and even though she won't be returning to this school next semester she is grateful for having a great piano teacher, and for learning and experiencing things she probably wouldn't have learned elsewhere. 

This evening was wonderful, and everyone sang so beautifully. Oh my gosh! Their voices! I didn't realize how great a university choir sounds compared to any choir in high school. Okay...Highland high school's Chorale was good, and I'm not just saying that because my daughter was part of it, but seriously...attend a choir concert at the University of the Arts and you'll "hear" what I'm talking about. 

University chorus singing "Gloria" from Rose Jorgensen on Vimeo.

I tried to get record as much as I could being that this was Sierra's final performance, and even though she didn't have a solo I could still hear her lovely voice. As you can see she is in the middle standing in the front row. For those of you who haven't heard her sing yet you can watch her on  my you tube channel as well as on my vimeo videos. 

I'll close this post with this video of Sierra singing "Silent Night". She sang it in her junior year of high school & being that it's the Christmas season I think it's a perfect ending to get into the holiday spirit! 

Enjoy the sounds & have a great day! 

learning to let go & govern themselves.

The hardest part of having children is not having them, or raising them, but letting them go off on their own. To learn, to discover, to experiment, and to govern themselves. Govern themselves. "We as parents have to teach our children to govern themselves" is a saying that I kept hearing when Sierra first started the young women program. In all honesty the first time I heard it, and I mean really heard it I felt a little uneducated as to what it really meant. And I wanted to learn.

See...I didn't understand any of it. None. Zilch. Nada. Govern themselves??? What do you mean? What is that? I wasn't a member of the church at birth, eight, twelve, 15, or 18. So...can you please explain it to me? And eventually they did. I learned and grew with the values and standards this wonderful church has taught our kids, and it has made me a better mother as to how I am raising these girls. 

One thing for sure is that I didn't nor will I ever understand the pressures that come with being raised in the church, or being the only Mormon in high school. Having us parents telling you, teaching you that drinking and smoking is bad. That you can't wear sleeveless clothing, two piece bathing suits, or short, short hootchie shorts that practically show paris, london, and france. That you shouldn't go shopping or go to the theatre on Sundays. That dating begins at the age of 16, and only go on double dates. No. I will never know the feeling of being a raised a mormon as a youth, but I do know the challenges that I had to overcome. The changes that I needed to do in order to become a much more happier person. I was 20 when I joined. Oh yeah...my rebellion, sexual promiscuity, & partying stage was all in my past. I didn't want any of that. Anymore. 

Swearing...we hear it all the time. In school, in books that are assigned to our children to read during high school, and unfortunately...on the home front. You heard it here first folks. Swearing...that is a weakness even for me. Shocked? Yes...I swear. I'm a mormon, and I tend to slip up every now and then. Remember I'm not perfect. No one is. But I recognize that slip up, try my very best to bite my tongue especially in front of the little ones. I've gotten a lot better at it, and it comes in full swing when I'm very stressed or that time of the month. I apologize, and I say to the girls, "it sounds ugly doesn't it?" Especially when that PG-13 movie that we were watching had the word F*!# in it. It sounds horrible. Funny...maybe, but it still has no meaning as to why they say it. Now I can see why we shouldn't watch R rated movies. As awesome and intense (Air Force One, the Terminator), historical (last of the Mohican's, Glory, and The Patriot with Mel Gibson), and dramatic as they may be (Argo, Blood Diamond) I shouldn't watch them. Oh...but I love The Last of the Mohican's!! Oh well...no one is perfect. Still...movies that have a lot, and I mean a lot of swearing in a sense that they should have just titled it F*!# has no interest for me. I hate it, it sounds awful, and I end up feeling terrible afterwards kicking myself why I didn't have the strength to turn it off. Well, now I just avoid watching them altogether. 

Sierra was fortunate to have made good friends, non mormon friends in high school who knew her standards and have respected her when it came to swearing. They'd cover her ears, or mouth the words behind her back. In all honesty...Sierra  has never said a swear word ever (at least not around me.) The first time I heard Sierra say "hell" was when we were discussing the changes in her curriculum, and unforeseeable future at UARTS. She didn't mean to say it, but she is just ready to have this semester over so she can transfer, and start new somewhere else. She said, "Mom, I just want to get the hell out of here." I was shocked, and said to her that even though its in the bible that we shouldn't say it too much! In my eyes it's okay to say it, but then again maybe I'm justifying that in a sense to say or write when appropriate.  I told her to just try not to say it too much, and she knew. She even felt weird afterwards saying it. Here I am a mother who slips a swear word every now and then telling her not to. Yes...I feel like a total hypocrite which makes me want to do better. So much better! It's so sad how circumstances can cause our minds, and hearts to be saddened, and we feel that swearing will make it all better. It doesn't. So...clean language is a value that is important to me, and seriously something that I have to work on.   

Early morning Seminary...don't even get me started on that. I have absolutely no idea how it feels to wake up at 4:30 every morning five days a week excluding holidays for four years to learn about all the important books that keep a person sane, fulfilled, happy, knowledgeable, and spiritual. I know that it helped Sierra endure her four years of high school, and helped her handle any trial, catty drama, and just "life". I know that Seminary is a great tool for the youth, and I am grateful that she got a taste of that. 

Girls camp for four years, EFY, youth activities, personal progress, and so many wonderful church youth programs that are out there to make a kid strong, but that's not always the case. Again...I didn't have any of this growing up, and when our kids go off to these exciting, and testimony building adventures it can help them spiritually, or not. Some go through the motions. Some forget. Some rebel. Some start talking back. Some end up not caring. Anymore. Some give up. I have seen it...not with my kids, but other peoples kids, and it's scary.

So after witnessing teenagers, returned missionaries, and young adults go through these stages of life of inactivity in Sierra's earlier years has helped me for that moment to have her learn to govern herself. Because I wanted her to learn on her own. To know what cause and effect mean. I have seen the despair a parent has when their child has gone wayward, and it's heartbreaking. I still see it.

And then...they turn 18, graduate, apply for college, and leave the house. Live in the dorms. In the city. Philadelphia. Yes, it can be scary. It can be dangerous. Certain people were concerned for her, and I understand why. Luckily...she has survived. She has learned. She has persevered every experience, every trauma she has witnessed (a suicide, gang violence, even putting herself in a situation which could have been worse) Those are her stories that hopefully someday will share with you. But for now...she strives to be the most bubbliest, happiest, carefree, always smiling, loving, funny kind of girl. 

She is my daughter. My firstborn, my solace, and sometimes...my close to perfect example. I love her, and like my mother has told me that she had to learn to let go of me, the last one to have departed the nest...I also have to learn to let her go. Luckily she isn't the last one left in my nest.

And I will. I have to. I have to learn to accept, and support the choices in her life as well as the rest of our children. Her wants. Her needs. This is her time to learn. To discover, and enjoy a different type of freedom. I pray that her thought process, and level of spirituality will not go askew. I pray that she will continue to live up to her standards, to never forget who she is, and to remember everything that has been taught in her life both temporally and spiritually, and that she will take it with her no matter where she goes in this life.

**This talk really helped me when I understood what it meant for our children to learn to govern themselves. It is awesome, and really helped. Really! 

i trust her...she's strong.

It's already been a week since Sierra first stepped foot into her dorm, and after meeting her roommates and their parents I am so not worried. Sierra couldn't have been blessed with better roomies. These girls are beautiful in every way and they all have one thing in common...The Lord.

They are all christian, and even though they are of different faiths they understand each other, and it is a comfort to know that.

Jessica is from Singapore, and Emily is from New Hampshire. They are both dance majors, and are the sweetest girls. Jon and I immediately hit it off with both their folks, and it looks like they are going to have a great first semester living together.

I have to say that I am extremely grateful that she is just across the bridge because let me tell you...we did a lot of things at the last minute. Had she been going to school across the country I know she'd, we'd have been better prepared. It didn't help with the spontaneous road trip we took returning home close to midnight the day before she moved in! I know...crazy huh?

A last minute lunch date with one of her friends took place an hour before the move. Having Steve with us the entire day was helpful, and we didn't mind the good company. I am just wondering if he'll ever want to hang around us again. I adopted him for the day, and it was so much fun having another boy hanging around in the mix of all my girls.

We spent all day moving her in, and luckily for us UARTS fed us really well that evening.

It feels weird not having her here, and I miss her. Although she is across the bridge, it feels as if she's thousands of miles away. I guess it's just really hitting me now, and those tears have been coming down like a waterfall. I'll go into her room which Chelsea has taken over, and rummage through her desk. There are back issues of American Girl, and New Era magazines on her desk that should be recycled, but don't want to. Luckily I have another teenager that is putting them to use, and Lexie has already read a few.  I'll even come up to Lexie to tell her how much I miss Sierra, and burst into tears. She'll console me, and tell me that she's not far away. She knows how much I miss her sister. I miss her so much that I've been calling Lexie "Sierra" more than I should. I know she's just a text, and a phone call away, but I don't want to smother her too much. I know it's going to take some time to get used to not having her around to play me some Downton Abbey on the piano, and hearing her laugh. 

One thing for sure...the singles ward in Philly, and the staff at UARTS are lucky to have her.

Church...oh how I was so looking forward for her in attending Relief Society with me, but that's okay. She committed herself to staying in the young women until the day she left for college, and I thought that was awesome. She even did some visiting teaching with me as well. I am especially grateful that her testimony is firm enough to attend church on her own. She knows that life without the gospel would be hard. She has already made friends in her singles ward, and although she was a little nervous to enter inside the doors of a singles ward where she is literally the "baby" of the group (there are more 20 year old's in church) she stands strong. 

She has accomplished so much to get to where she is today both academically, and spiritually. I hope that she will remember all the principles that has been taught to her in the gospel throughout her life. Attending a college in the city in Philly can be scary for some, but because of Sierra's solid testimony she knows where her standards are, and where she stands in the gospel, (and how to defend herself-thanks to pepper spray.) 

One chooses their own destiny, and I'm praying for a lot of successes in her future. 

I only pray that she won't make the same mistakes I did, and that she will do a lot better. 

A lot better...and I believe that she will. 

college bound.

Today is going to be a long day of moving, driving, walking, and last minute shopping as Sierra prepares herself to leave for college...like in a few hours! 

We just got back from our trip to Rhode Island, and instead of writing about that adventure my thoughts are all on Sierra. 

I can't believe that this day has come from the time she was born, to attending preschool, eighth grade graduation, high school graduation, and now college! 

Time certainly passes us by way to quickly!

It wasn't that long ago that Sierra would sit at the steps of Highland High school along with her friends to pick her up from school, or drop off dinner for her when she had those late night jazz band practices. It's bittersweet, but in a sense I'm going to miss that. 

I am going to miss the late night movie watching, trips to Wawa to get a smoothie, thrift store shopping, and all those mother/daughter talks we'd do almost on a daily basis. 

Luckily she'll be across the bridge in Philly where if there is an emergency I can jump in the car and be there in 20 minutes! Fortunately in this generation we have Skype, and all kinds of technology that is filled with the instant gratification when one is away from home. 

Writer's block is kicking in because I am filled with all kinds of emotions. Yes, I know she's only across the bridge, but if you knew the relationship I have with this kid you would understand. She is my solace in so many ways. She was also my part time editor for my blog, and now I am going to rely on Lexie (she's a good little writer too!) So if you see a lot of mistakes, or words that don't make sense in my posts it's all on me! 

She was always there when her dad worked late, and on many occasions would bake me some goodies when I'm feeling out of sorts. I'm not a baker at all, and that is one thing she is good at, my thighs won't miss them, but my mouth will! 

Can you imagine how I'd be reacting had she'd chosen to go to school across the country? I know I'd be able to handle it, but still...I would miss the hell out of her. 

One thing that I don't want to do, (and I think I'm doing a better job at it than my mother did) is become angry. Angry, and bitter because she's "leaving me" to better her life. Angry and bitter because she's leaving a small town to a bigger city. Oh, wait...that's a story about me. Well...she is leaving our small borough in Jersey to move to a bigger city, and another thing...why don't men react like that when their daughter is leaving? I'm sure deep down he'll miss her too but still...shed some tears dude! Maybe he's saving them for her future wedding day! 

When I moved from Texas to Utah for the first time my mom had a bad habit of just lashing out for no reason, and getting mad at me days before the move. I now know it's because of some crazy kind of love that she had for me. I was her baby girl whose nest had become empty. I get it, and I understood it, but I am not going to do that with Sierra.

However, I did catch myself reacting that way off and on before her graduation date for the mere fact that in just a couple of months she's going to "leave me". I promised myself I wouldn't do that when it was time for her to leave for college. I don't want that reaction to be learned to my daughters, and so today is going to be bitter sweet! 

I also think this last hurrah to New England, and taking in the sounds of the ocean helped all of us deal with the fact that when we return...she'll be gone.

I know her sisters will her miss her, but we are ready for her to begin this new adventure in her life that will lead her to do something magnificent and awesome in the future!

sierra's choice.

Life lately with Sierra has been pretty busy. She was recently the pianist for the choir in the All South Jersey Jazz band which took up a lot of rehearsal time, and endless carpooling with a dear friend, and they all played exceptionally well. 

The high school jazz band has been having rehearsals after school preparing for the state championship competition which will be held this Saturday. So far they have won twice for best rhythm section, and best piano soloist. I hope they will bring home some more recognition. She sure is a busy girl, and now that she has a job as a receptionist she'll be even busier. One thing I am so relieved in is the fact that she finally made a decision on the college of her choice.

After months of endless fasting, praying, venting, and crying, she finally made a decision about which university she wants to attend. So without further ado I am pleased to announce that she will be attending the University of the Arts in Philly. I can't even begin to tell you how stressful the past four months have been for all of us. I honestly don't think anyone can understand her feelings of what she went through emotionally trying to decide which direction to take to further her education. 

Not even me. 

Especially since I've never, ever been in her shoes. Why? Because I only applied to ONE college. I didn't have the talent that she possesses. I also didn't have a lot of support in my personal life, or any spiritual foundation to guide me through this important chapter in her life. I also didn't apply myself as much as she did while I was in high school. 

Fortunately she did, and no matter how much we both wanted to hurt people in nice way (well, you know what I mean) whenever they would constantly say or ask, "go here, go there, BYU has the same standards as you, why do you want to go to Rowan (that was me, and I'm sure she probably wanted to slap me silly as well), the University of Utah is no different than BYU, you're not going to BYU?, what?, have you decided on a college yet?" Oh, the endless questions.

I guess those are the cons of applying more to one college, and we sure weren't prepared for all those questions. Especially when you're a Mormon. 

See, as a member of the LDS church we tend to lean towards Brigham Young University, and sometimes it's expected of us to send our children to attend there. Thankfully Sierra is one of those girls who values her standards in keeping them true no matter what without having to go to a Mormon college. To be honest, even if she went to any college in the Salt Lake Valley everyone is going to have their struggles, drama, and issues. Mormon or not. It's in every state, and we can't escape that. None of us are perfect, and I'm very proud of the way she has handled these matters in response to all the chatter that we received. 

I did however appreciate every one's thoughts and concerns, suggestions, and advice in regards to my daughter, and we love y'all for it, but in the end it was Sierra that was going to have the final answer as to which university to choose. 

As a mother you want what's best for your child, and I have always trusted Sierra to make the right choices. Since we moved here to New Jersey, she has grown so much spiritually, and I know that her faith has been tested many times. She is an amazing person to others, and has proven herself all too well this past year that she can truly handle any adversity that comes her way...by herself.

See, something I have learned as a parent in sending your firstborn to college is that when you keep your mouth shut, and let your child govern themselves they will realize on their own through the pondering and praying that they should be doing as individuals that their answer will be clear as to which direction they need to go when it comes to college.

Sure, they see that you care because of the advice, and lecturing that you're giving them, but I realized that I also needed to give her space, and time. Time to think about her life, her ambitions, but most of all  her feelings. It's all about what she wants, not about what we as parents want for her. 

Another thing I learned throughout this whole situation is that you don't want to smother them with too much lecturing, because they might end up making decisions that will not be satisfying to our needs, but when you smother them with support in their decision they will appreciate that, and that is the best thing that a parent can do.

Can you imagine being in her shoes with everything she has accomplished throughout her senior year that she's involved in? Not only in school, but at home, and in the church? I sure couldn't! I can tell that being the oldest, and the first one to apply for college isn't easy. I just pray it'll be easier with the next child, and the next, etc. 

I personally didn't really have a school that I wanted her to attend to. Okay so maybe I wanted her to choose a school in New York only because I love that city, but in the end the choice was all hers. 

I'm grateful she broadened her horizons when it came to applying for schools, and that she chose one close to home. So happy she's staying on the east coast. 

I know she made the right choice, and she does too. 

open house at the U of ARTS.

Many of you have asked, (and keep asking) about which school Sierra has decided on. She has narrowed down her choices to two universities. She is deciding on going back out west to attend the University of Utah, or stay closer to home and go to the University of the Arts in Philadelphia. Either one is an excellent choice in schools, and I will be happy whether she stays closer to us, or to her grandparents, aunt, & uncles in Utah.

This past Sunday we attended an open house at UArts, and it was six hours long. We knew we were going to miss the first session of general conference but going to the open house was crucial for Sierra, and important for us as parents. Luckily I had some friends who were posting quotes from conference talks that were given on my wall. It was nice to have read them afterwards.

They call the University of the Arts the 'Julliard of Philly'. I was really impressed with the welcoming of some of the students as we were standing in line outside, the President of the University who had a nice british accent, the Dean of Students who had a great sense of humor, as well as the entertainment from talented students that was provided during lunch.

I thought the open house at Fordham University went all out, but breakfast here was scrumptious!

They even had cotton candy, and we managed to snag a few to take home to the kids we left behind.

While we separated for a couple of hours we stayed in the auditorium to hear a panel of parents whose children are currently enrolled at UARTS, and were answering any questions or concerns from parents in the audience. They were also discussing the pros and cons of the school, but were very positive in their answers. There was more positivity because the school is located in Center City which is the nice part of Philly.

One thing I am grateful for is the fact that Jon & I never sheltered our kids. The fact that we moved around a lot helped the girls learn about different environments, and cultures. It has build up their confidence, has taught them to be adventurous, fearless, and to make friends easily.

So Sierra having applied to various schools was a piece of cake for her, and she didn't hesitate to broaden her horizons. She wasn't afraid of applying at other schools in New York because she familiarized herself with those surroundings at a very young age. She loves the city, and I'm not too worried about her being on her own. Children need to grow up, and learn how it is to live on their own. At times it won't be easy to be on her own, and that is when she'll appreciate the life of being on her own! Okay...that was bit redundant. 

She told me the other day that it's going to be weird not asking us permission if she could go over to a friends house, etc. I laughed, and I'm sure it's going to get some getting used to.

It was interesting to hear others testimonials about their child and how one mother was nervous about sending their child to a school in the city. Suburbanites may not be accustomed to life in the fast lane because of  living in the suburbs for, like.....ever! I can understand why they'd be nervous, and I thank my lucky stars that we were never afraid to venture out to the city, and took Sierra to New York City when she was five years old.

If she attends this school it will be extraordinarily broadening for her, and she was quite thrilled to have been here for six hours! She'll already know someone from her high school who will 'possibly' attend (according to his parents he is also waiting on another college.)

All we need now is a final decision...

SOON! 

my very short college life.

circa, 1996

Here we are at the beginning of another week, and after the weekend I've had writing about the "happenings" in my life gives me so much relief. 

Right now I am going through many emotions. Emotions that pertain to our firstborn in having her choose the right college for her. 

For those of you who have already sent a kid(s) to college you know what I mean. If your child only applied to one, and got accepted God Bless you! If you have a child who applied to more than one God Bless you even more because they only have two to choose from, but if your child applied to more than three...Good luck!

That's my issue at this point. Even though Sierra knows exactly what she wants to do with her life she still applied to numerous universities. So far she has been accepted to three, and is really pleased. I personally have no idea what she is going through because I only went to ONE college. My educational status could have been a lot better, but i chose to go a different route. 

My kids know that I didn't graduate with my high school class, and after letting them know the whys, I told them that I want them to do better than me, and my golly they are! 

My short college life consisted of attending CBM technical school in which they are no longer around so don't even bother googling it. That is where I learned the "old school" Lotus 123, Dos, and Wordperfect 5.0. It was a year of learning all about computers for me, and thankfully I passed with A's and left with a certificate of completion in Computer office technology. 

I then enrolled in Del Mar College, and majored in Public Relations which I loved so much. Majoring in that field taught me to be fearless in public speaking, and gave me the motivation in continuing my education once I moved out west to Utah.

Not...I got married instead (that story to come later.)

I had two wonderful roommates named Maria & Marivel whom I hardly saw because they were always busy with school, and played with the infamous Mariachi Cascabel. I remember moments spent with them that were priceless, and memorable, and living with them also prepared me in how it would be to live with future roommates.  

Having grown up in Texas my whole life up until the age of 20, I always thought that I would go to the school that everyone was applying to which was Texas A&M, but I didn't. Even though Del Mar wasn't on my list of schools I didn't even try to apply at other colleges such as the University of Texas, SMU, University of Houston, or any other schools outside of my 'comfort zone'. I guess I thought that I wasn't good enough. Darn low self esteem! 

Well, I am extremely grateful that my oldest had the courage to apply to various schools, and not just one. If I could go back and rewind my college life I would have definitely applied to more schools. 

That was then, and this is now, and as much as I would love to change the past that deals with my education I'm grateful for some of the education that I have today. Even though I don't have a "BA, MBA, or PHD" I still managed to learn from those two short years at Del Mar college, and grew from the different occupations I've had in my life.

One thing for sure that 'saved' me, and helped build up my confidence in knowing that I can better myself in accomplishing anything in this world was by converting to the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. 

circa, 1996 (a picture for my posterity at the age of 23) 

By being a member of this church, and learning from its teachings, it has taught me to better my life in doing more good towards all humanity. Mostly towards my own life, and my fellow man. It has taught me true principles that I can pass down to my posterity. It has taught me the value of friendship in sisterhood, and how we should always strive to be a good citizen throughout this mortal life. 

Most of all it has taught me to teach my children to strive their best to live happily, and to be focused on the important things in life such as getting an education, and to treat others as they would want to be treated. Basically to be a good example, and strive to live righteously. 

These are some of the things that I didn't have as a youth, and because I made the choice to change my life at the age of 20, my kids have the chance to have it better. They may not always make the choices we want them to, but through constant guidance and encouragement without lecturing...their choices will be just.

My very short college life was filled with energy and I actually had a really good experience. It strengthened me in relationships, got me out of my comfort zone, I made a lot of friends from all walks of life,  and it also tested me in ways that I never thought it would. Luckily I had the foundation of Christ in my life to guide me through any trial whether good or bad.

This advice I will pass on to my future posterity. No matter which college Sierra decides to attend, I'll know it's because she prayed about it, and saw all the possibilities, pros and cons that it entails. I'll know that it'll be the right decision for her, just as mine was. 

Remembering my college days are bittersweet. I think I did my best in being good enough at that point in my life, and I have no regrets in the choices I made thus far.

Maybe someday the time will come for me to complete my college education. 

Not yet. 

Not yet. 

utes or the cougars.

Back in early January a dear friend surprised us with a lovely gift for Noah. He felt that he was being deprived of the Utes so he sent him a swoop pillow pet. 

My husband bleeds red, and I personally don't bleed either color. For those of you who are not familiar with the universities in Salt Lake City, and Provo, University of Utah, and BYU are big time rivals! I am not a BYU or University of Utah alumni so I wouldn't care less which pillow pet Noah likes the best. I'll watch the football games, and I'll cheer for whoever is having a good year, but other than that fighting over teams is silly, and too fanatic! 

Well, last Christmas my in laws bought Noah a cougar pillow pet, and when he opened it up he seemed pretty content with it, but when he saw the bright red colored animal with a yellow beak that looks like an angry bird out of the box he squealed with delight. Jon, and I then held each of the pillow pets, and asked Noah which one he preferred. 

Guess which one he chose? 

Swoop!! 

Jon was like, "YES!", and I was like, "please dude", and Noah just snuggled with it, and wouldn't let it go. Every time we'd give him the cougar one he would toss it to Sierra. 

Is that a sign? Is her little brother telling her she can have it to take with her when, and if she decides to attend BYU? 

Last night, we found out via email that she has been accepted to BYU in Provo.

We were all thrilled (still are) and are so excited for her. The look on her face was priceless. I can't imagine how she must be feeling right now caught in between numerous colleges that she has applied to and has already been accepted. Not sure which one she will choose, but wherever she goes I will try my best to support her decision. It is all up to her as to what university she chooses that has a good music program. 

BYU, SVU, and Rowan are all very good schools. She is still waiting to here back from at least five other colleges including the University of Utah to see if she has been accepted. She'll then have until May to make a decision.

I didn't have too many decisions to choose from back when I was trying to figure out what to do with my life. I attended a two year college, and that was it! Someday I'll write about my short college life, but right now it's all about Sierra, and I definitely wouldn't want to be in her shoes! 

All i know is that she'll have a lot of praying to do. 

One thing for sure is that if she decides to attend BYU she'll have cougar the pillow pet to make her feel at home. Oh wait...she's a Utah native, and was born there. 

We lived there for 10 years so it is familiar territory for her.  

Hope in preparing for your future

"Education is not preparation for life; education is life itself."

~John Dewey

This summer has been quite different from all the summers we've had before. Different because I see my eldest daughter portray a certain countenance that you don't normally see in teens today. Not only has she been buried with summer homework that consists of endless reading which includes four chapters of AP History, and reading three books for AP English. She's also had her share of being gone for weeks at a time attending various church activities, and having much needed vacation time with us as a family. In a sense I feel that her absence and time being spent in her room doing homework is preparing me for her future. The future that indicates not seeing her for months at a time as opposed to weeks. The future I am referring to is...

college. 

She has been dreaming of going to college since she was in the third grade. She also wanted to find a job as soon as school was over, but with vacation time, church activities, and tons of summer homework...it was impossible for her to work. I appreciated her efforts in wanting to become someones employee, but as a parent I didn't want her to get overwhelmed. She decided that she shouldn't work and that her school and church activities came first.  I was impressed with her decision and supported her through it. It would be nice if she did have a job making her own money and saving some for college, but it wasn't feasible with her hectic schedule. All of these decisions she is making and all that she is doing is indeed preparing her for college.

She began attending Girls camp every summer since she turned 12. I remember being sleep deprived all week worrying and hoping that she was having a great experience when she went for the first time. I missed her and cried off and on all week long. Although I had two younger daughters at home to keep me company our family didn't feel complete. It was hard. I found that after four years of having her attend girls camp it's become a lot easier for me, and her testimony continues to build. I am grateful for all that she continues to learn in school, and for all the church activities that keep her busy and strong in growing within the gospel.

Our Stake Presidency visited our church yesterday and while all the testimonies that were said were very uplifting and true...President Sikahema's stood out to me the most. He was the last to bear his testimony and mentioned a little bit about his college days and how it took him 22 years to finish his education. I was impressed with his diligence, and endurance in finishing his education and playing football for BYU including the NFL for so many years!

My husband and I don't have a lot of money saved for Sierra's college. She'll be graduating in two years and we really haven't build a nest egg for her. It was hard for us to save any money when you are moving from state to state. We've decided to not splurge as much on vacation trips next summer, and to seriously start saving some money from our tax returns each year. Luckily our kids are all five years apart which gives us five years to save for Alexandra's college, and the next kid, and the next (we have four.)

President Sikahema's testimony really inspired me and gave me hope that our daughter will have a higher education and get into a great college. Whether it's BYU or any other university she is determined to get in. She is bright, ambitious, goal-oriented, and has faith and determination in applying for every single scholarship out there, and pray that they will choose her. I've said this to all of my children many times, "if you do what's right and strive to do your very best in living a good christian life, and do excellent in school...the Lord will bless you."

I know Sierra believes that.

 I am also preparing for the four years (or more) she'll be attending college away from me. I know there will be tears, but at least I'm preparing for them now... instead of later. 

All We Need is BYU, Brown, and Harvard

Good mail has been filling up our mailbox lately with various letters from different colleges addressed to Sierra. Sierra is in the middle of her sophomore year and has been getting them for the past two weeks. It's been interesting to read about all the different colleges. Some of them are in the tri-state area. I don't remember ever getting any letters from any colleges while I was in high school. Then again...I didn't maintain over a 4.0 GPA. It's thrilling for us to see that the admissions teams from all kinds of different universities are impressed with her achievements and academic credentials. Sierra looks forward to coming home from school to check the mailbox.

She just informed us today that she is considering about doubling up next year and skipping lunch to take two AP classes: environmental science and English.  Apparently her counselor advised her to talk with us about this. Jon and I will support her in any decision she makes. We trust her to be organized and to handle any challenge she comes across with these classes or in any situation.  I'm sure that whatever she chooses will be the right choice. She's such a bright kid and we are so pleased with all her accomplishments. She may have her plate full, but it'll all be for a good reason.

 Ivy league schools are very selective (not to mention expensive) and she has her heart set on Harvard. She is so ambitious and wants to get into a really good college. She's also considering in applying at Julliard music school. She has such a talent with piano and writing composition. That is another small school who is very selective with their candidates. Of course she'll apply for many scholarships and pray that one will be granted to her. This is a very important step in any teenagers life and only hope for the best.

Some parents may think tenth grade is too early to start thinking of what college to attend. We don't. We think it's wise to plan your future now. I wish I had a better counselor in high school who encouraged me more. I'm just glad that I decided to attend college on my own motive two years after high school. I am also glad that Sierra has a good counselor in high school who cares about her education.

We are very grateful to be living in a part of the country where there are so many outstanding colleges. Wherever she gets accepted and wherever she chooses to attend,  I'm sure it'll be meant to be.

*Do you have a teenager in the process of choosing a college?
*How full has your mailbox been?