Tuesday, June 23, 2015


Father's day, like Mother's day or any other holiday where one can be grieving due to a loss of a loved one can be painful for some. Especially when it is still fresh. I will never know how it feels to lose a father through death, but I know how it feels to not have a father growing up, and leave you not knowing why. 

Growing up without without a father can really suck. Suck big ones, but I've learned to cope with it. Throughout the past 39 years of my life (he abandoned me when I was five) I have no idea, even until this day where my biological father is. Where ever he is, whether alive or dead, I pray that he's happy and well. I've learned to forgive, and whenever something comes up that reminds me of him such as the smell of mexican food I am reminded of him. There was even one time when Jon worked for Rent a Center. I remember waking up quickly thinking that he's going to leave when he's actually coming home late from work. Those days really sucked, and I hardly would get any sleep in the first years of my marriage, but luckily I've gotten over that. There are tiny moments when I'll even shed a tear or two, and that's exactly how much I'll shed...a tear or two. I'll only get teary eyed for like ten seconds, and I'm over it. That's when I know that I'm okay with him being gone. Now that I'm older I don't cry as much. As a matter of fact I've become quite numb at the thought that I may never see him again in this life. 

I'm not bitter, or sad because in the past 43 years of my life I've experienced quite a few father figures who in some shape or form helped mold me into the woman I am today. 

My step-father whom I had a very negative experience with taught me what not to do! And because of the things he did to me, it has only made me strong. 

Joe was the complete opposite of negativity. He was always positive, respectful, and knew how to treat a woman as well as a child. He was the best person that happened to both me, and my mom. 

I have an amazing father-in-law who is always there for my family in times of need who raised a hard working son. 

And last, but not least I have my Heavenly Father. I've learned to put my trust in Him when I have no other father figure to turn to. One who will never leave me, and no matter what happens will always be there for me. I don't have to see Him to know that he is there...because He is. 

How grateful I am to know that. To know that He is there whenever I need to simply talk to him. 

But the one man I am most grateful for is of course, my husband. He is the most amazing, patient, kind, hardworking, loving, forgiving, man to ever step foot on the face of this earth, and he belongs to me. I seriously don't know what I would do without him had he not come into my life at the time I needed him. What a blessing he is to my children. What a blessing he is to me. They adore him, and the minute he walks in from work they embrace him, and caress him with affection. He always returns their actions, and when I see that I know that I picked a good one. 
 ...and these kids know that they did too! 

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