January's end

As I look back on the start of this new year it seems to me that some things never change. I have begun to realize that some things may never change...whether it's someone you care about, the people you associate with in your daily, and weekly life. I know that I'm doing my part in being the happiest person alive. I love that this month was full of blissful moments. I have the choice to make my days happy, and I choose to be happy, and I hope this makes you happy, because I want you to always be happy!

This month was full of blissful moments...

I had two daughters celebrate another year of living.

I had my middle daughter attend the temple 13 days after her 12th birthday.

It's been a mild winter which means less moisture, and brown grass. Maybe not blissful, but tolerable.

My better half's grandpa passed away, and it was more of a relief than sorrow since he had been     suffering with bone cancer for many years. He'll still be missed.

There are two young men that I know that are about to embark on a wonderful two-year journey.

Chelsea is more eager to play the piano, and wants to start cello lessons on her 8th birthday. Wait a minute...didn't she JUST turn seven!

I celebrated one year of blogging this past week!

My oldest is happy that this marking period is over which means less stress. She's halfway through her junior year!

We've also put out some of our valentine's decorations. Some of my ideas have been inspired by pinterest. I heart Valentine's day more than anything.

I've also watched Uncle Buck like three times on movieplex this whole month, and I have to say that it is one my favorite John Hughes movie of all time. Listening to this song (and please click on "this song"... I promise listening to it will make your day, and make you smile) really makes me feel like I can accomplish anything in this world as a parent, wife, mother, and friend!

I count my blessings each day for all the things we do as a family, and for ways in which we can help each other in times of stress, and major trials. Each day is a blessing, and no matter how I start out the day...I wish it to be a happy one. Whether I'm sick, or feeling stressed because of "life", I don't want that to get in my way of happiness. I'm thankful for January, and for all that has happened throughout this month. If people don't change...that's okay. What matters is how I react towards that, and my reaction will be bliss!

I can say goodbye to January 2012 now. 

Looking forward for tomorrow.

Unity, a blessing, and a chance to do it right

And he commanded them that there should be no contention one with another, but that they should look forward with one eye, having one faith and one baptism, having their hearts knit together in unity and in love one towards another. 

Mosiah 18:21

My house is not the perfect house, nor are my kids, nor am I. What I do know to be perfect is the church I attend, and the only person I know to be perfect is Jesus Christ. So often we forget and take for granted how much we can learn from the Lord. The things we can do. How easily it is to wake up in the morning to read a chapter or even just a verse from the scriptures. How easy it is to pick up the phone instead of screening your calls when someone is in need of help. How easy it can be to love everyone unconditionally, be a friend, and listen to those who need someone to vent to. It can be trite sometimes to serve so many people at once, but the end result is the best...you feel good inside knowing you helped someone. 

 Besides my family, there is one thing in my life that I have treasured since receiving it in 2002, and I don't share it with just anyone because it is something valuable to me. And that thing is...

My patriarchal blessing.

 I make an effort to read it every day. I have a copy of it in my journal, my scriptures, and my wallet. There is one sentence in my blessing that is so true, and I feel the need to share it with you. 

It is written that "I will never grow weary in doing good." 

I love that. So far it continues to be true. For the past nine and a half years I have looked back at all the things I have done in my life, and in all the wards we have lived in. I have to admit it has been a challenge in my ward here in New Jersey because there are so many in need, and so few who will help. Whatever their reasons may be... I am learning to not worry about it if others want to help or not, and only worry about what I can do. My husband works ten hour days, will come home close to 10pm on some evenings, and will wake up at 4:30am everyday to teach seminary. He has been doing that for four years now, and never once have I heard him complain about helping others. He has even done service at 11pm at night. The fact of the matter is that I am going to try my best to serve not only those in my congregation, but my neighbors, new friends that I have made in local stores, and my family...without any hesitation or complaining. 

It's a new year and I want it to be full of elation and energy...not depression or sadness. I see my kids on how easy they let things go when others have wronged them. When they themselves as siblings have hurt one another through actions or words. They all have huge hearts, and have learned to respect each other. They are the perfect example to me of resilience. They try so hard in avoiding the negative resistance that they face at school, in the world, and yes...even in our own ward. 

They are reminders to me that having fun is a great way to release tension. 

They are the ones who keep me going when life gets tough. 

 There are times when I do grow weary, and how easy it can be to take sleep for granted.  After a long evening of being at the church last night due to a meeting and helping a sister in need, I literally fell into my bed last night with my little boy. Cuddling with him while my husband was preparing for his seminary lesson was something that I really needed. See...I'm not perfect. It's natural to grow tired after doing something good, but to not grow weary in 'wanting' to do good.

 I feel so blessed to have that blessing in my life, because each day when I read it...it gives me the chance to do it right, and the strength to be better. 

 And I want to be better.

Twenty Twelve

"Cheers to a new year, and another chance for us to get it right."

~Oprah Winfrey

photo from eighteen25.blogspot.com

We always make resolutions and sometimes they last a week, a month, and sometimes some of us actually fulfill them. Maybe I just need to be a little bit more patient with the things I'd like to resolve.
Sometimes having patience is impossible, and there are times when we just want to give up. 

Well...I don't ever want to give up. 
EVER!!!

Let's hope that from this day forward we can:

 Be more positive,
 be more compassionate,
be more kind,
 be more loving,
 be more empathetic,
be more helpful,
be an even better teacher to our children as well as their mother,
be a better neighbor,
use our time more wisely,
be more sincere,
be more cheerful,
be more faithful,
be more Christlike,
  be better friends to those we met long ago,
 and not take the ones we have living closely for granted.

I hope that I can be better at all of the above.

I hope that I can strive really hard to live the life that will always lead me, and my family to a road towards never ending happiness.

When trials come our way, I hope that we can always be able to have more faith, and courage to withstand any obstacle.

I hope that we can accomplish all our goals that we have set for the new year.

 Let's hope that this year will be unique, and a lot different from the last!

Happy, happy 2012!
 May it be a joyful, and better year for us all! 

Second Chances

"If you don't like something change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it. 

~Mary Engelbreit

Ringing in the new year should be a happy moment for us all. It is a time for new beginnings. It is a time for reflection. A second chance to fulfill the promises that we made to ourselves last year that we didn't get to accomplish this year. I know I have a lot to work on. I'll never gain perfection in this life, but I know that I can choose to be better. I always want to be smiling like my daughters (which I think I do), and not worry about the little things.

Sometimes starting a new year can be fearful, or fearless for a lot of people. We often wonder what is this year going to bring for us, and to the world. Those who love fashion wonder what trends are going to be in style. Some of us wonder if we are going to have any more terrorist attacks. One thing I've learned in church during discussions in Sunday school, or in a Relief Society meeting is that if we strive to live the best way we can in living a Christlike life...then we need not fear.

I don't want to be fearful about the future. I want to be fearless. I don't want to have to worry about the latest trends and fashions. I am my own designer! It shouldn't matter how the world behaves. What should matter is how we look at ourselves, and in the eyes of our children and to teach them that they can always be happy. I want them to know that resolutions can be accomplished, and that they have a chance each year to be better.

I hope that with each passing year we can look back, and reflect on how we behaved towards others, and how we can remedy the things in our life that we would like to fix. Hopefully we will reflect on the things that we read, said, blogged, or even wrote in a letter. Whether it was bold, good, happy, or sad...I hope that we can learn from the words of various writers.

My life is a resolution, and I want to always look at it in a positive manner. I want to feel invigorated and renewed. I know that if I just try to work on those things that are imperfect, at the end of each day I can say to myself, "At least I'm trying, I really am trying", and to never give up.

Remembering a "Happy" Christmas

^^ me and Aunt Lynn ^^

Our Christmases as young kids were bittersweet. Bittersweet because there were times when we didn't have Christmases, and when we did only the simplest gifts were exchanged. There were plenty of years when we went without, and it didn't seem to matter to us. To be honest, now that I'm writing about this I actually do remember having a small nativity displayed on top of our television set. I also remember having fixtures of Santa's all over the house. Gifts were very little...or none at all.

Seeing how your abuela would handle things as a single mother until I was about nine during Christmas time was impressive. I remember her never being angry during the holidays. She did her best in being calm and peaceful, and I think because of her example it has helped me how to handle Christmas...especially when it comes to gift giving. It has caused me to reflect back on that, and it makes me extremely grateful . It didn't matter to her if were low income, and couldn't afford the nice toys that were popular at that time. No matter how hard she struggled on her own, she would manage to keep us happy, but mostly unspoiled, and grateful. That is what I'm trying to teach y'all!

I also remember Santa coming over to our house one evening. I recall him being extremely friendly to abuela, and making her feel cared for. The night he came over I remember wearing nothing but red underwear (the kind where they had ruffles on the tush.) I kept as quiet as possible so I can hear them talk. He was talking to abuela in Spanish, and I didn't quite understand what they were saying. All I remember is your abuela expressing her gratitude, hugging Santa, and taking a black hefty bag into the closet. I had no clue what would be in it, but more or less I knew it had to be presents.

That's when your Aunt Lynn and I owned a doll of our own. Our very first doll. I named her Tracy. I can't remember Aunt Lynn's. I was five and Aunt Lynn was eight. They looked like American Girl dolls too! Too bad I don't have her anymore. You can tell by the smiles on our faces that nothing else mattered. We were so happy for receiving one gift. The turtlenecks in the picture were a gift too, and if you look closely there are Golden Books underneath the tree in the background of this photo. Rudolph was my favorite, and I still have that book. I also remember getting red Keds. Even though I was five, and hardly remember anything...looking at this picture brought back some memory of a happy Christmas. 

It's photos like this, (and I wish I had more to show from my youth) where all I want to remember are the positive things that occurred throughout my childhood. The smiling faces, the hugs, the smell of homemade tortillas, the warmth I felt from your abuela before our stepfather came into our life. The non stressful atmosphere before inflation hit in the 70's. I have to say that was the sweetest Christmas of all. Remembering the positive things in your life instead of the negative things feels great! 

Of course things were different back then, and today times have changed. I always try to make your Christmases magical, meaningful, and special. I don't want to stress out over what gifts to get y'all because seriously, we shop for all of you all year round! It' not worth getting caught up in all the hoopla of having stress over Christmas, and forgetting what the meaning of having Christmas is all about. Traditions are crucial, and we always manage to fit those in. It is nice to have things planned way in advanced to avoid all the stress, and we have always managed to work around your school/church activities, and music lessons so that I don't get overwhelmed in December. I appreciate your attitudes in how you deal with the 'mean mom' at times. As y'all are aware...I can be very sweet too! 

I love you all, and I'm happy to say that I am enjoying this season of giving, and light! Each Christmas seems to get easier and simple. I slowly feel my stress diminishing. I hope that you'll remember the happiest, most simplest moments of every Christmas that passes, and when you have your own families...I hope that you will pass it on. 

Can't wait until Christmas morning. 

xoxo-Mom

Happy Birthday to the King of our house

made with love by Sierra

There is something special between a daughter and a father. A bond that is different from that of a mother. I noticed that bond between you and Sierra the minute she was born. Now that she is older, she has grown closer to you more than ever before. Happiness fills my heart when I see the two of you bond. As you know, I didn't have a relationship with my biological father, or my stepfather. The closest person that I looked up to as a father was Joe, mom's companion of 12 years, so it really makes me appreciate the love and support that y'all have for one another.

At first it was something I had to get used to. Watching you and Sierra laughing and talking about all the things of the world was different, and it was something I had to get used to. Different because I NEVER had that kind of interaction with any father figure until I was in my 30's. I eventually got used to your actions, accepted it, and it makes me happy to know that she can rely on you, and talk to you about anything! Although there are certain topics she feels she can only talk to you about, I'm happy that you include me in those conversations. Sometimes Sierra will ask you for a favor, and if it is something that requires my part in it, you will always tell her to ask me. It makes me feel good that you include me. It is a sure sign that you trust my opinion as her mother, and to have the final say. Sometimes she'll do that with me, and at times I'd have to tell her that we need to ask you if that's okay. Bottom line is that I'm grateful that both you and I have great communication, as well as a close relationship with our children. 

The firstborn always tend to be our guinea pig in many ways, and although I made a lot of mistakes with Sierra in the beginning...I corrected them right away. I feel that I am a better person, and mother because of all the experiences we endured with her being the only child for five years. With our second it became easier, and so forth.

As I look at this ship that Sierra made for you, and all the things that she wrote about you...

Defender of dreams.

The hospitable one.

Lover of the family.

Holder of the priesthood.

Seeker of wisdom.

King of Corny.

It warms my heart to know how much she LOVES you, and how she looks up to you as her father. 

All of those things that she wrote about you are true, and that is exactly why I married you.

Wishing you the happiest birthday ever! 

xo

December with the CHRISTmas spirit

"The spirit of Christmas illuminates the picture window of the soul. To catch the real meaning of the spirit of CHRISTmas... we need only drop the last syllable and it becomes the spirit of CHRIST."
 ~President Thomas S. Monson

Our first Christmas, Circa 1994

How many of you have your spouse's birthday, wedding anniversary, and Christmas all in one month? Actually within two weeks of each other?

We do!

It's always a busy month for us especially with four children, church callings, and just being a sane person during this time of the year...which we usually are. I look back and remember thinking how we are going to balance these three important events in our life as a married couple without breaking our bank account, and how we are going to build traditions, and keep them throughout our life.

One thing we decided to do is go to the temple on our anniversary. It is free, and it is the most spiritual thing you can ever do in your life as a husband and wife. Of course, here on the east we need to drive for just two and a half hours to D.C. or an hour to Manhattan. When we were living in Salt Lake it only took about ten to twenty minutes to go the temple depending on which one you were going to. Oh, how I miss that! Honestly, the drive doesn't' matter because we know that at the end of the day we are blessed for the service we have done for our kindred dead.

When it comes to exchanging gifts Jon and I have never been materialistic. Especially my husband. He always says to me he doesn't need anything...he only needs me. Of course I end up surprising him with something I made or something that he really needs which is usually clothes, or tools (that he'll actually use!) He in return knows how much I love anything that resembles love and family, and he usually chooses the perfect gifts that relate to that. Whether it's a piece of jewelry with an inscription, or even taking me to the temple again (because he knows how much those buildings mean to me.) Even on his birthday, we'll make the time to go.

Going to the Visitors Center at the D.C. temple to see the decorative lights is absolutely beautiful during the holidays! One thing I miss about Salt Lake is going to Temple Square during Christmas to see the lights. So for all you Utahans who are reading this...take advantage and go!! 

It's times like these where it makes me extremely grateful to have the five year age gap in my kids. My oldest is 16, and is not spoiled! Most 16 year olds are, but mine isn't. She is humble and is grateful with anything she receives. As a matter of fact, she said to me and her dad to 'focus on her sibs.' What a gal! I love her so much. I truly am blessed to have a teenager who is truly charitable. I think of the reasons why my kids are so understanding during the holidays as to why we don't need a lot...it is because we have taught them the true meaning of Christmas. I pray that is one tradition that they will pass on to their posterity. 

It's not about the gifts.

It's about remembering our Savior Jesus Christ and all that he did for us.

So long November...

"How beautifully leaves grow old.

 How full of light and color are their last days."

~ John Burroughs

This November was unusual in the weather. We have had temperatures in the high 60's, and sometimes it felt like Spring. They say there will come a day when we won't even know what season it is unless you look at the trees. I believe it. I don't want to think about 'the last days', but it's inevitable. I can't think, but to wonder how the weather will be next year. I have really enjoyed this beautiful autumn weather, and now all good things must come to an end. December will be here tomorrow, and the temperatures are now in the 40's. I actually do look forward to a cold, wintry, snowy December. As long as it doesn't keep me off the roads I'm pretty content with the winters here on the east.

The month of November gave me the chance to have my mother here for at least two weeks. I am grateful for the time she was able to spend with us, and although she left before Thanksgiving it was sure nice to have taken advantage of the time spent with her to know more about what she is feeling, and for her to see how my family lives.  I pray that she is safe, and trying to figure out her life in Texas. I hope that someday she will accept change, and have the desire to live closer to her posterity. Who knows...only time will tell. I am extremely grateful for the gospel in terms on how it has kept me strong in times of stress, and adversity. I strive to live the gospel each day the best I can, and hope that it is pleasing to the Lord. I pray it's always my best.

I will always remember this time of the year.

I will always remember November.

All you need is love

Add capti"A child fills  a special place in your heart...a place you never knew was empty."

You'd think that with 70 degree weather in November doesn't make one depressed, but in my case I have been feeling the blues lately. Partially because I have been worrying about my mother. Wondering where she is, and if she's completely content with her surroundings back in Texas. Truth is she has been trying to find a place to stay until there are vacancies in her old apartment complex. She has basically been homeless for the past few days. I finally heard from her yesterday and it looks like things are looking up. It's hard to know whether or not your loved ones are truly 'okay'. I know that I always need my friends in times like these, and it's sad when you are feeling down for the first time in a long time, and all the friends that you have in your local area seem 'too busy' to come for a visit. Don't get me wrong, I have made wonderful friends here for the past three and a half years, but sometimes they have their own worries and I tend to serve them instead of venting my own problems to them. I'm grateful for a wonderful home teacher who faithfully comes once a month to check up on us to share a wonderful spiritual message, and a wonderful family (mine) who is constantly on the look out for me, but most of all I am happy to hear that my mom is alive.

With that being written, it makes me extremely grateful for family!

My youngest daughter sensed that I was worrying about her abuela, and that I was in much need of a pick me up. I was talking with my Aunt Toni who lives in Louisiana that day, and she was telling me the nicest things about my mom. This woman LOVES my mom and will do anything for her!! She even offered my mother to stay with her, but my mom is too stubborn. I told her I wish she could have stayed with us in New Jersey, but she just missed a lot of things about Texas. My mom is one of the most stubborn people you'll ever know. She's old school, doesn't do well with change, and is easily overwhelmed when something to good to be true is happening to her. Like I said, she's stubborn, but very nice. Maybe someday she'll accept change.

I know that for some people the holidays can bring on a damper. Instead of celebrating Christmas, they are finding ways on how to start the new year...with contentment, or sadness. We do have a choice, and I choose contentment. I refuse to allow any emotional stress to ruin the holidays. This should be a happy time of the year, and we need to be strong not only for ourselves, but for our family and friends. I learned a long time ago to not let anything bring me down. We all have a different history of how our lives were when we were growing up, and how we choose to live it today. I made the choice to change many things when I got married, and had children. I'm still constantly working on being the best example I can be to my family, friends, and neighbors. My attitude and actions are a work in progress, and also a never-ending one.

I'm grateful for change.

I didn't grow up with a lot of affection, and neither did my mother. It makes me happy to know that I have proof that I have changed that in my family. Proof from my little girl writing the words I LOVE YOU MOMMY with a heart standing in for the word LOVE. Proof that I am raising my children with love and affection. I needed some love on that beautiful November sunny day, and it was received. Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve it, but then I think of my childhood, and all the things I endured that makes me a survivor today. Looking at Chelsea's face when she was telling me to go outside and read what she wrote on the sidewalk, and then reading what she wrote made me feel that I do deserve it. Most of all I give thanks to my Heavenly Father who brought my children into my life, and put His trust in me to feel that I deserve them.

This truly made my day! Moments like this can happen at any given time in your life when that person up above knows when you need it the most! 

I love you more Chelsea!!!

Dinner with a gratitude journal

I know my decorating wasn't very festive this year, but I didn't have any company over this year for Thanksgiving so I made it simple for our sweet family of six. Each year we miss our extended families out west and in South Texas...especially this time of the year. I am extremely grateful that I have enough children to cause enough goofiness, and entertainment to last the whole day through. 

 This year the girls did all the cooking (well, most of it.)  My better half cooked the turkey and made homemade rolls. I pretty much relaxed (well... not really, because I was too busy entertaining Noah and Chelsea.) I guess in some sense that's relaxing...NOT!!! It was so nice for Sierra and Lexie to have helped. Chelsea helped by setting the table. We ended up eating dinner at about 2 pm. I can't eat any later than that! I pretty much starve myself the day before so I can devour enough food on turkey day! Everything was delicious and after a much needed nap (about 30 minutes) we went for a drive, and then had some yummy pumpkin pie.

Noah's favorite dish...yam yummies. He loves them with marshmallows all over them. 

 At the end of the day, each member of my family wrote in my gratitude journal specifically written only on Thanksgiving day. I started this tradition in 2002. I honestly can't remember where the inspiration came from. I have been a journal writer since I joined the church in 1992, and decided to start a separate journal the year the Olympics came to Utah. 

I love the quote on the cover of my journal...

"As much as I complain...I am well aware...of how much I have to be grateful for."

 Isn't that what we mostly write in our daily journals. We tend to vent, and complain about the daily stresses of life. In my gratitude journal...it's all about gracious and kindness. No complaining written here!

Everyone who has ever been to our house for Thanksgiving over the years has written in it. We have had a lot of missionaries, friends, and family record the things they are thankful for in this journal. So if you are ever invited over to our home for Thanksgiving dinner...be ready to gather your thoughts and think of what you are grateful for as you record them in my journal. 

It's always nice to look back at the amazing friends we made, and to read all the things they wrote. 

My family too!

I am thankful for the gospel, for healthy children, great neighbors, my family, friends, and for the small and simple things that have blessed our lives this past year. ~Rose

I am thankful for my family, the missionaries, the gospel, and the atonement. ~Sierra 

 I am thankful for the scriptures, freedom, shelter, animals, family, and food. ~Alexandra

 I am thankful for the scriptures, the knowledge of the gospel, the Savior, the atonement, my family, friends, and the ability I have to support my family. ~Jon

 I am thankful for a house, food, books, school, my family, churches, temples, and Jesus. ~Chelsea

Next year Noah will be old enough to write clear, and not scribble!

I hope that each and every one of you had a wonderful Thanksgiving, and that you always cherish this thankful holiday.

Now to focus on the Christmas season!

I love, love this time of the year! 

A Thanksgiving prayer

"To express gratitude is gracious & honorable. To enact your attitude is generous and noble, but to live with gratitude in our hearts is to touch Heaven."

~President Thomas S. Monson

 It is amazing what mother nature does to the colors of the leaves on trees when she brings quite a bit of moisture. We had rain these past two days, and now the glorious sunlight is shining bright outside on this beautiful Thanksgiving day. 

I took these before and after pictures of one of my favorite trees in our area. It's amazing to see how it was once just plain green, and how you can slowly see the little red leaves poking out and trying to find its way on how to form on the tree. 

This is my thankful tree.

I look at the changes of leaves on this tree as our ability to change also. Little by little, we find things we know we need to improve on in our lives, and even though they'll never be perfected like these perfectly colored leaves...we can certainly continue to try. To reflect on those things that we seem to take for granted, and to always remember to be thankful. Not just on days like today, but everyday. Like this tree...we can change for the better. Not just every season, but to strive to make it a permanent change. To live a life of gratitude no matter what.

The colors on this tree are absolutely beautiful! We also have the chance to be beautiful also, and to have others see the inner & outer beauty in ourselves, as well as our true colors. May we all recognize the smallest blessings that come to us, and that we have faith to know of the things that are good for us. May we always, always be thankful, and know that it's never too late for change. Whether it's for yourself, for your family, or for the Lord. May we always be surrounded by those who love us, and in return love them back...unconditionally. May we always be an example to our children on how a life of gratitude should be lived. This is my prayer. Amen.

Happy Thanksgiving. 

The Prince of messes

Having seen my mother interacting and playing with her only grandson brought me great joy while she was here. It warmed my heart, and I often wondered if she wished she did that more with me and my sister while we were toddlers. I don't remember stuff I did as a two year old, but my mom did mention that I was nothing like Noah. She calls him 'The Prince' because she saw how much his sisters, his dad, and I spoil him. He definitely is one spoiled little boy. I try not to let him get away with anything, but sometimes I can't help it. He's so cute, and when he does something naughty I can't help but to sometimes laugh. I hold it in because I don't want him to think it's too funny to the point where he'll think it's okay to do it over and over again!

My mother on the other hand didn't mind his small messes. Especially the ones he was making at the table. Still... I don't think a Prince would make a mess like this. We had stopped at Mcdonald's and I had a quarter pounder without cheese. I also took out the onions and left the box on the table. What I should have done is thrown it away in the trash as soon as I was done with it. Of course when you are distracted by doing something other than being fully attentive to your kid he's going to find an advantage and make messes like this..... 

Of course we laughed about it, and luckily my emotions as a mother have softened up a lot since Lexie was born, and I didn't give it another thought but to look at Noah and just say, "Nice mess son." I know for a fact my mother would have done differently back in the day, and I'm grateful for realizing that making messes is no big deal. It's part of a child learning and growing up. Learning what is right and wrong. Sometimes you'll be tested to see what your reaction will be. In my case it was a calm one. Noah sure does know how to make a mess. Good ones too!

He'll probably be my only prince to make good messes...and that's okay.

Behold your mother

I feel so blessed to have had my mother here even if it was just for a short while. While she isn't a member of the church, she respects my beliefs and we never got out of our routine as a family. We continued to have our family prayer, scripture study, and a couple of Family Home Evenings. I really thought she would participate in some of our activities, but she didn't. We tried to convince her to stay, but after figuring out her budget living in New Jersey, she felt that she wouldn't be able to make it on her own. She decided to move back to Texas where the cost of living is affordable, where there is summer all year round, and to be back in her comfort zone. Sometimes it's hard to accept change when you are set in your ways, and that is my mother. She is totally willing to do it on her own, and I know she can.

She saw the imperfectness in our family, and also saw the hard work, and effort we put to have love, and happiness in the home. That strength, and love comes from constantly reading this book, and also by living it! I think that overwhelmed her at times because her upbringing was completely different (so was mine.) I changed all of that when I became married, and vowed to continue to work on that happiness in my home no matter how challenging times get.

I am grateful for her in the way that she raised me. There is no perfect way in parenting your children. You have to let them make their choice, and just pray they're are the right ones. She knows of all the stress I caused her while growing up, and through all that grief I put her through she still loved me. There are reasons behind the choices I made as a young teen, but this week is a week of gratitude so I won't ruin it by writing a 'sob' story.

I am extremely grateful in the way she treated the kiddos. While my mom stayed in the room upstairs she had Chelsea have sleepovers for the four days she didn't have school. Chelsea was attached to her and would not leave her sight! After a while, my mom mentioned that she loves Chelsea spending time with her, but that she needs her space too. Especially while she is dressing! My mother was a good sport, and to be honest...I wish she treated me and my sister the way she treated her grand kids.

Okay...no sob story! I love my mother, and even though she was here for a short while, and left before Thanksgiving we love her unconditionally, and totally understand as to why she had to return so quickly.

I am grateful for the times she cooked for us, and spending time with the kiddos. She watched "Twilight" for the first time, and actually liked it. The girls have corrupted her, and she is now officially a Twilight fan! She also told the girls to pick their favorite 'New York' movie to watch, and they chose "Serendipity". Good choice.

They all had a nice time, and we look forward for her to visit us again. We will miss her, but know that things happen for a reason, and that it wasn't my time to take her in. She is 68, healthy and fit, and feels capable to be on her own. I commend her for that, and know that once she is totally incapable of taking care of herself...she knows that my door is always open for her.

WE LOVE YOU MOM...You are always going to be missed. The handwritten letters with the girls will continue!

Goodbye Texas

Hello, New Jersey!

My cute mom on Padre Island in Corpus Christi, Texas~ 2010

I am so relieved that my husband and mother arrived safe and sound yesterday in the early morning hours. Luckily it was daylight savings time which caused my husband to get an extra hour of sleep before we all went to church. Yes...he drove 30 hours in two days, and probably only had a combined total of ten hours sleep. He managed to wake up to attend sacrament meeting and he even bore his testimony of the savior, and the teachings of the gospel.

What a guy!

I never thought that I would ever have my mother live with me until I was at least in my 50's, but she is, she's alive and well, and my kids LOVE the fact that she is here, and not 1752 miles away.

We are going to make the best of our living situation the best way we know how. I'm sure we will have our moments, but remember that none of us are perfect, and it's okay to have moments of imperfectness with your mother!

This is my mom's first time ever to be living on the east coast where she is already experiencing colder temperatures than Texas, and seeing the change of season. Something she's never quite experienced before except for when she went to Utah for my December wedding in 1994, and stayed for a week. Not long enough to really adjust to the cold weather. She loves seeing leaves on the ground, and the fall foliage on the trees. Another thing she's only seen in pictures.

 She is a big history buff, and is now living in the perfect place for it. She is going to see places she has never seen, and we are going to make it super fun for her. I don't think we will ever be bored with my mother here. She's especially happy that we are close to the shore, and New York City. She loves the ocean, and art...lots of art!

 Since there is no such thing as good mexican food here on the east coast, I will definitely settle for my mom's homemade tortillas, and arroz con pollo. She is a fantastic cook! I can never seem to perfect my cooking like my mom...she can take over my kitchen anytime she pleases!

One thing that I know she'll miss is writing to the girls. Now that she is here, she will no longer need to write long letters. The kiddos always looked forward to her letters. Maybe every now and then they can still mail each other cards.

I love my mom and I am grateful for all the things I went through and experienced with her while growing up, and in the way that she raised me. The past doesn't matter. All that matters is the here and now, and how much I want to make the next 20 years (or more) beautiful, and fun with my mother. It is my turn now to take care of her...

Let the adventure begin!

A five year Gap

Being five years apart, sometimes I feel overwhelmed trying to attend to all of your needs.  

Especially the oldest and the youngest.

I don't know if it's easier to have children closer in age or further in age.

I only have experience with the further.  

  No matter the 15 year difference these two have. 

 They are like two peas in a pod.

Life may get overwhelming for you being 16 at this time with being involved in so many activities, and experiencing your first crush, and Noah turning two that the both of you may feel all the stresses of life. 

Wait...babies don't stress do they?

But at the end of the day with all the hard work and effort y'all put through the days of your life. No matter what life throws at you-I want you to know that I will be here for y'all until the very end... 

and that having you as my oldest 

 and youngest

makes me the luckiest 40 year old MOM in the world!


I'M SO GLAD I HAD Y'ALL WHEN I DID. THAT WAY I'LL ALWAYS HAVE A BABYSITTER, AND A CHILD LEFT BEHIND WHEN I'M NEARING 60!! 

LOVE YOU KIDDOS! 

A picture is worth a thousand words

Friends come and go, but some of them stay in your life for 20 years...or more. Throughout our nomadic life I have made some great friends, and I am truly grateful for the love and constant contact via Facebook, email, phone, or snail mail. Friendships are a blessing, and I pray to keep the ones that I have for many years to come.

My dear friend Shariyu from Salt Lake City whom I miss so much. I sure do miss the times we'd go out to lunch, dinner, the movies,  go swimming, add shopping, and Christmas time was my favorite! She really has great taste when it comes to gift-giving! Oh...and birthdays too! I look forward to visiting Utah again, and updating our photo! 

 While living in North Carolina for two years I really learned to appreciate my husband even more. These wonderful sisters and friends were truly an inspiration to me. The fact that some of these sisters had husbands who were deployed for 18 months (or more) really humbled me. I saw a strength in them that came from bonding with one another. They had courage to stand tall, and still be active in their callings in serving the Lord. I have never been in a ward where all the sisters were cohesive, supportive, and willing to carry each others burdens. We were one of maybe six civilian families who were not in the military, and I was happy to have been able to have served my sisters. I look back at my life during this time, and hope that I rendered service in friendshipping and letting these sisters know that I truly did, and still do care.

Serving in the Relief Society Presidency with Susie was a wonderful and growing experience. I'm grateful to have been one of her counselor's while serving in the Fayetteville III Ward. She was the perfect example of a military wife who had many experiences, and because of that she was prompted to know of how to follow through all situations...both happy and sad.

These two friends were great examples of motherhood when my firstborn became a tween. I truly miss them both!

Living in New Jersey I have made some dear friends, and there is one in particular whom I have stayed in touch with since we met in 1992...Maggie. Her and her hubby were in some sense my life saver when it came for us to live here. They knew which areas had good schools, and nice living communities. I am truly grateful for all that they did when my family and I first moved up here.

Besides Maggie..Tiffany and Angie are two of my favorite people that I met in Jersey, and I LOVE them with all of my heart. They are a perfect example of true friendship, and those are the ones you want to treasure forever.

There are so many wonderful friends in my life today who have inspired me in some way. It doesn't matter if we are of different faiths. I believe that we are all one in the same, and that we are friends for a reason. I wish I could share more pictures of all the friends that I've made throughout the years, but what is most important are the memories that are etched in my heart.