Tuesday, October 2, 2012

sometimes "the look" is all it takes.

Giving "the look" at Chelsea from inside the car to let her know that she needs to listen to her older sibs while I'm out running errands, and I get a smile in return...Classic! 
Having three daughters is great! Having one boy is a blast! Put all four of them together and they all get along great. Put three of them together, and life is still wonderful. When I leave the two youngest ones unattended without my supervision...things can get a little chaotic.

Here's an example:
While I am in deep conversation with the girls talking about their days activities, and our plans for the week I can hear Noah and Chelsea joyfully playing upstairs. There are days when they play so well, and moments when Noah just wants to entertain himself.

This time Noah is entertaining himself downstairs, and while I am in the kitchen I can hear Chelsea teasing him.

"No!!!!! Stop!!!! are the words that came out of Noah's mouth. I turn around and Chelsea is taking away his favorite train. She has this innocent look on her face, and I know she is the culprit of that little incident, because I caught her in action. I try to be as patient as possible, and I look at her with a stern look on my face hoping she got the message. I returned back to the kitchen, and five minutes later I hear more cries, and the taunting starts up again. I finally pull Noah and Chelsea aside to tell both of them to please settle down. I tell Chelsea that she needs to watch the things she says and does because Noah is mocking her every move. I only had to tell them a couple of times to cool it that day, and luckily for me this doesn't happen every day, but it sure feels like it does.

These squabbles are slowly diminishing since Chelsea began school, and her eighth birthday is four months away. I know that she'll grow out of this phase of teasing her little brother, but seriously...I never thought I would ever go through anything like this with any of the girls. Sierra, and Lexie were literally the perfect example of obedience when they were her age, and I didn't have to reprimand them as much while playing. Now they are 12 & 17, and so far still don't cause me any stress! It's "life" that can be the stress inducer...not our kids!

I have long since realized that Chelsea is very unique in her own way with a tender heart. She is beginning to realize that enough is enough, and that her father and I will not tolerate this kind of behavior in the home. Most parents would give up, and let their kids beat each other up, but I know what it feels like to have girl fights with your sibling, and not having a parent seriously preventing it from happening again and again.

Our children are precious, and I have had to work on my patience when it comes to raising kids. It is up to us to teach them right from wrong beginning at a very young age.

I remember my mom would get angry when my sister, and I would fight. Instead of separating us by finding a common ground as to talking to us about why we were fighting she would intervene by hitting the both of us. Not the kind of discipline, or communication I'd like to impose on our kids. My mother was strict on the terms she learned from that of her mother.

My mother has since then apologized for her actions on how she expressed her anger out on us while we were little, and how she learned that behavior from my grandmother. She has since passed along some great advice when I had my firstborn to never hit my posterity, and I took that to heart. She also did tell me to not let them get away with anything, and to discipline them without hurting them.

Somewhere in between those generations it was time to put a stop to this anger, and break the chain. I know that through the love of Christ, some counseling, and sincere fervent prayer that I can control any anger that still may be hovering deep inside my soul. I don't ever want to exhibit that type of behavior towards our kids especially Noah because I know it will never end.

Between my sister, and I it looks as though we did break that chain. I don't think I'll ever master in being patient, and I don't need to beat my kids to make them listen...all I have to do is give them "the look", and sometimes that's all it takes.
Sweet note Chelsea wrote on her eraser board. She does try her best everyday to behave...even though she forgets. I also have to remember that she's still a little girl learning how to be good.

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